# Name my soccer team **URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-soccer-team/186666 **Category:** In My Humble Opinion **Created:** [July 7, 2003, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-soccer-team/186666 "2003-07-07T00:16:37Z") **Posts on this page:** 12 **Page:** 1
### Author: ![daniel801](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@daniel801](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/daniel801) #### Post date: [July 7, 2003, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-soccer-team/186666/1 "2003-07-07T00:16:37Z")
So I need a name for my stupid soccer team. I’m thinking something in the vein of “weapons of mass destruction” or “The Lone Rangers” but neither of these quite do it for me. How about some suggestions for some clever and/or stupid names? Another runner-up was “Thundercleats” just so you get the drift a little more. (Brax’s neighbor is Thundercleese, i think) Thanks!! ---
### Author: ![Husker\_Dude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Husker\_Dude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Husker_Dude) #### Post date: [July 7, 2003, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-soccer-team/186666/2 "2003-07-07T00:38:47Z")
Two suggestions: ‘‘The Peanut Butter Wolfs’’ or ‘‘The Rouge Boners’’ ---
### Author: ![SnugTheJoiner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e8c25b/32.png) [@SnugTheJoiner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnugTheJoiner) #### Post date: [July 7, 2003, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-soccer-team/186666/3 "2003-07-07T01:10:57Z")
The Irritated Wombats ---
### Author: ![Soup\_du\_jour](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@Soup\_du\_jour](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soup_du_jour) #### Post date: [July 7, 2003, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-soccer-team/186666/5 "2003-07-07T03:08:23Z")
Daniel’s Stupid Soccer Team ---
### Author: ![green\_bladder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/73ab20/32.png) [@green\_bladder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/green_bladder) #### Post date: [July 7, 2003, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-soccer-team/186666/6 "2003-07-07T03:14:48Z")
The Dirty Beasts The Chewey Monkeys ---
### Author: ![nineiron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e56c9b/32.png) [@nineiron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nineiron) #### Post date: [July 7, 2003, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-soccer-team/186666/7 "2003-07-07T03:31:23Z")
Here’s what you do: You call your team “KICKS.” This is, of course, a lame name, but you have the uniforms printed up in such a way that the lettering is a direct rip-off of the logo from the band KISS. Then your team comes out onto the field wearing make-up, spandex, and platform cleats. Or, how about “Look, Ma, no hands!”? Or, how about “Football, Schmootball! We call it soccer here!” Sadly, those last two suggestions are a bit too long to fit on a uniform front, and aren’t very conducive to your fans’ chanting your name. ---
### Author: ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask) #### Post date: [July 7, 2003, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-soccer-team/186666/8 "2003-07-07T03:36:07Z")
Arsenal ---
### Author: ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain) #### Post date: [July 7, 2003, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-soccer-team/186666/9 "2003-07-07T03:56:15Z")
The Flatfoots All of the rest are semi-crude uses of the word “Ball”. ---
### Author: ![amarone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@amarone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarone) #### Post date: [July 7, 2003, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-soccer-team/186666/10 "2003-07-07T04:10:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by don’t ask \* > \*\*Arsenal \*\* This is especially appropriate if you are located in a town called “Boring, Boring”. ---
### Author: ![Johnny\_Bravo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_bravo/32/493_2.png) [@Johnny\_Bravo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Bravo) #### Post date: [July 7, 2003, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-soccer-team/186666/11 "2003-07-07T04:45:53Z")
The Nads, of course. That way, everyone can cheer “Go Nads! Go Nads!” 😃 ---
### Author: ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain) #### Post date: [July 7, 2003, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-soccer-team/186666/12 "2003-07-07T06:06:22Z")
How about “The Worm Burners”? It sounds vaguely obscene and I saw it on some soccer-slang website. Or “The Dribbling Idiots?” ---
### Author: ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright) #### Post date: [July 7, 2003, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-my-soccer-team/186666/13 "2003-07-07T06:19:26Z")
You can’t pluralise the Lone Ranger, dammit, or he isn’t lone anymore…