# Name that nutcracker! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 28, 2007, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-that-nutcracker/431526 "2007-12-28T21:50:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-that-nutcracker/431526/1 "2007-12-28T21:50:19Z")
We bought a 5 foot tall [nutcracker](http://s18.photobucket.com/albums/b109/rmix/xmas%202007/?action=view¤t=DSCF2636.jpg) for 1/2 price the day after Christmas. What shall we name him? The best we have come up with is Captain Christmas. Too lame. I know the Dope will come up with something clever! ---
**Author:** ![Faruiza](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecd19e/32.png) [@Faruiza](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Faruiza)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-that-nutcracker/431526/2 "2007-12-28T21:58:17Z")
Captain Christmas is cool enough! Although, considering at what height the actual “cracking mechanism” sits…I feel the need to work in a testicular joke of some sort… ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-that-nutcracker/431526/3 "2007-12-28T22:01:40Z")
You need to get out more. Wait – with that guy guarding the door, maybe you _can’t_ get out more. Never mind. ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-that-nutcracker/431526/4 "2007-12-28T22:01:58Z")
The only nutcracker whose name I know would be my ex. Her name was Tamara. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-that-nutcracker/431526/5 "2007-12-28T22:06:13Z")
He looks like a Stash to me (that’s the Polish pronunciation. Short for Stanislaus I believe). ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-that-nutcracker/431526/6 "2007-12-28T22:08:18Z")
Lorena ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-that-nutcracker/431526/7 "2007-12-28T22:09:19Z")
Filbert ---
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-that-nutcracker/431526/8 "2007-12-28T22:09:39Z")
[QUOTE=Robot Arm] Lorena [/QUOTE] Snerk! ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-that-nutcracker/431526/9 "2007-12-28T22:14:47Z")
I vote for either Mudcone or Skimmelshanks. That’s what I named the two that were stationed in the driveway of our old apartment complex. ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-that-nutcracker/431526/10 "2007-12-28T22:25:42Z")
There was an article in the paper a couple days ago about someone whose large nutcrackers were stolen and wrecked. She’d named them Mr. Nut and Mr. Cracker. ---
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-that-nutcracker/431526/11 "2007-12-28T22:31:27Z")
[QUOTE=Cluricaun] I vote for either Mudcone or Skimmelshanks. That’s what I named the two that were stationed in the driveway of our old apartment complex. [/QUOTE] Care to elaborate on why you named them that? ---
**Author:** ![3acresandatruck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/e79b87/32.png) [@3acresandatruck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3acresandatruck)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-that-nutcracker/431526/12 "2007-12-28T23:03:29Z")
He kind of reminds me of [Flashman](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/f/f0/Flashmancover.jpg). ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-that-nutcracker/431526/13 "2007-12-28T23:04:41Z")
[QUOTE=Dolores Reborn] Care to elaborate on why you named them that? [/QUOTE] My roomate used to work at a hockey rink doing maintenance and two of the guys he worked with were world class potheads. They came out of the work room one day laughing and laughing and insisting that from now on that those were their names. It was just so silly and random that I started cracking up too and those names have stuck with me ever since. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-that-nutcracker/431526/14 "2007-12-28T23:06:45Z")
“Landfill” or “Kindling” ---
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2007, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-that-nutcracker/431526/15 "2007-12-28T23:16:07Z")
[QUOTE=Chefguy] “Landfill” or “Kindling” [/QUOTE] Hey! Smile when you say that! 😉