# Name That War! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 17, 2003, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-that-war/161985 "2003-03-17T13:37:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-that-war/161985/1 "2003-03-17T13:37:48Z")
**CNN** is calling it _‘Showdown: IRAQ’_ **MSNBC** is calling it _‘Conflict with Iraq’_ **The New York Times** is calling it _‘Standoff with Iraq’_ Granted, these names are assigned to the actions leading up to war, but still, they lack…_ **Panache** _. And that’s important when you’re undertaking something as serious as Armageddon. We just can’t go into this thing without a catchy name for our Headlines and Epitaphs. Something subtle yet succinct. Militant yet disarming. More charming than alarming. I’ll go first to get the ball rolling. \*’\ ***Desert Storm II** : _This Time It’s Personal’_ ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-that-war/161985/2 "2003-03-17T13:50:55Z")
Get out the banjos and the fiddles. We’re **Goin’ Back To Iraqi Top.** 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-that-war/161985/3 "2003-03-17T14:14:00Z")
The ‘ **Justify to the public? Why? They’ll accept anything!** ’ war? ---
**Author:** ![Elvis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/958977/32.png) [@Elvis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elvis)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-that-war/161985/4 "2003-03-17T15:12:21Z")
The Exxon Mobil BP War. Brought to you by the Ford Motor Company. Ford–our gigantic SUVs ensure that September 11th will be more than just a memory. ---
**Author:** ![Tamex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ccd318/32.png) [@Tamex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tamex)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-that-war/161985/5 "2003-03-17T15:19:46Z")
How about **War is Peace**? I thought **Winston Smith** would appreciate that one. What’s wrong with the **Second Gulf War**? Is that not hip and modern enough? Does it have a bit of _deja vu_ to it that is unpalatable? (Does anyone else feel like we’re going back in time? Bush is in the White House; we’re at war with Iraq; one of these mornings, I’m going to wake up convinced it’s 1991 and panic because I’ve forgotten to do my algebra homework!) On preview, I’m not sure I can compete with **Elvis**. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![panache](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c77e96/32.png) [@panache](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-that-war/161985/6 "2003-03-17T15:28:04Z")
Since I was called out by name- The “I’ll get you and your WMD’s too!” War ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-that-war/161985/7 "2003-03-17T15:33:35Z")
See?!? **panache!** Now we’re ready! ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-that-war/161985/8 "2003-03-17T15:34:56Z")
The first Gulf War was “Gulf War A”. This one will therefore be known as: **GWB** ---
**Author:** ![Reuben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/54ee81/32.png) [@Reuben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reuben)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-that-war/161985/9 "2003-03-17T16:08:25Z")
**World War 3.** ---
**Author:** ![Early\_Out](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Early\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Early_Out)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-that-war/161985/10 "2003-03-17T16:29:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by **jjimm** \* > The first Gulf War was “Gulf War A”. This one will therefore be known as: > > **GWB** Oh, I think we have winner, folks!! ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-that-war/161985/11 "2003-03-17T16:38:03Z")
Stealing from Firesign Theatre, I’m gonna nominate “Marching to Shibboleth.” They’ve even got a song for it, which starts off: _We’ll go marching, marching to Shibboleth with the eagle and the sword…_ Sorry, can’t remember the rest of the words. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![G.Cornelius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b782af/32.png) [@G.Cornelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G.Cornelius)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-that-war/161985/12 "2003-03-17T17:15:55Z")
GWII ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-that-war/161985/13 "2003-03-17T20:51:04Z")
**The Hundred Minutes War** ---
**Author:** ![gus28](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6de8d8/32.png) [@gus28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gus28)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-that-war/161985/14 "2003-03-17T21:17:40Z")
**March (to Baghdad) Madness** ---
**Author:** ![jk1245](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/49beb7/32.png) [@jk1245](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jk1245)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-that-war/161985/15 "2003-03-17T21:37:17Z")
**The George Bush Desert Classic** **Operation BitchSlap** ---
**Author:** ![rhinostylee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bc79bd/32.png) [@rhinostylee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhinostylee)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-that-war/161985/16 "2003-03-17T22:18:59Z")
**Operation: Iraqi Troops Will Surrender to our Media Again** ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-that-war/161985/17 "2003-03-17T23:25:08Z")
**Gulf W. War** ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-that-war/161985/18 "2003-03-18T01:55:30Z")
\*\*Will Gulf for WMD \*\* **Operation: Balistic Enema** My personal favorite is jjim’s. Well done. ---
**Author:** ![Loopus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loopus/32/15343_2.png) [@Loopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopus)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-that-war/161985/19 "2003-03-18T05:13:37Z")
The War to End All Wars III ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-that-war/161985/20 "2003-03-18T05:48:39Z")
The War To Prevent War. (See below) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-that-war/161985.md?page=2)