# Name your favorite Doper Smartass! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 17, 2004, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-doper-smartass/250805 "2004-06-17T03:53:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![SanguineSpider](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SanguineSpider](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanguineSpider)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2004, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-doper-smartass/250805/21 "2004-06-17T05:44:15Z")
Welp, there are two spellings I had to choose from (not ass ::pokes **harmless** :: :rolleyes: šŸ˜›šŸ˜ƒ ) so I wasnā€™t sure and Iā€™m too tired to check another source. Youā€™d think the Internet would ONLY contain the correct spelling of every word or name but alas, tis not to be. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2004, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-doper-smartass/250805/22 "2004-06-17T05:46:13Z")
I nominate **JuanitaTech** ā€¦ if only I could find that whole ā€œwatermelon and chickenā€ thing way back. ---
**Author:** ![SolGrundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@SolGrundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SolGrundy)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2004, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-doper-smartass/250805/23 "2004-06-17T05:55:44Z")
**Eve** and **lieu** are the well-deserved front-runners, but I gotta throw in a vote for **No Clue Boy** just for [this post](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=4433021&postcount=19) in the SDMB calendar thread. ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2004, 9:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-doper-smartass/250805/24 "2004-06-17T09:45:04Z")
> [@SolGrundy](#): > > **Eve** and **lieu** are the well-deserved front-runners, but I gotta throw in a vote for **No Clue Boy** just for [this post](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=4433021&postcount=19) in the SDMB calendar thread. Eeeewwww! :smack: Thatā€™s it. I am going back to bed! ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2004, 11:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-doper-smartass/250805/25 "2004-06-17T11:02:53Z")
::sees nomination for **Doper Smartass** :: :eek: šŸ˜ƒ Iā€™d like to thank my friends and family, **Rufus** especially since he voted for me. Iā€™d like to thank all of those people that supported my Smartassness :sniffs, tear in eye: Iā€™d like to thank the admin and modsā€¦::sharp intake of breath:: ā€¦andā€¦Iā€™d likeā€¦ toā€¦ ::breaks out in uncontrollable sobbing:: thank you **Eve** should be the winner, though. Some have got the smarts, **lieu** has got the ass, but only **Eve** has the smartass!! ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2004, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-doper-smartass/250805/26 "2004-06-17T13:45:13Z")
**Eve, Ethilrist, Cervaise, Mangetout** and pretty much everybody here from one time to another. Every day someone new puts me in stitches. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2004, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-doper-smartass/250805/27 "2004-06-17T14:16:23Z")
One of the reasons I like this place is itā€™s so full of smartasses it keeps me on my prettily-shod toes. But Iā€™m not sure if I qualifiy, as Iā€™m a lifelong sufferer of Wisenheimerā€™s disease. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2004, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-doper-smartass/250805/28 "2004-06-17T14:26:06Z")
Iā€™ll nominate **Miller**. His squelching comebacks and all around general wit are hysterical. ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2004, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-doper-smartass/250805/29 "2004-06-17T19:32:26Z")
So far in the running we have: \*\*Eve \*\* - 6 \*\*harmless \*\* - 3 :dubious: **Hal Briston** - 2 **lieu** - 2 **Wally** - 1 :wally **SkipMagic** - 1 **Ponder Stibbons** - 1 **Nocturnal\_Tick** - 1 **JuanitaTech** - 1 **No Clue Boy** - 1 \*\*Ethilrist \*\* - 1 \*\*Cervaise \*\* - 1 \*\*Mangetout \*\* - 1 \*\*Miller \*\* - 1 Yay, **Eve**! So far you are **Smartass Supreme**! šŸ˜› ---
**Author:** ![CandidGamera](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/candidgamera/32/2878_2.png) [@CandidGamera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CandidGamera)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2004, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-doper-smartass/250805/30 "2004-06-17T19:38:58Z")
Hmmā€¦ so hard to say. Miller, I think, comes immediately to mind. I havenā€™t been here long enough to make my reputation. šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2004, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-doper-smartass/250805/31 "2004-06-17T19:48:57Z")
> [@Maureen](#): > > **SkipMagic**. If i didnā€™t dearly love **auntie em** , Iā€™d steal him. Heā€™s the king of the one-liner. Youā€™d think Iā€™d get better treatment at home, you would. Or, just maybe, I get what I deserve. šŸ˜‰ Thanks for the vote, **Maureen**. Everyone else who votes for me gets a free caseā€“no, _barrel_ of beer. The beer will be doled out by the Admins of this Board; please direct all questions toward them. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2004, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-doper-smartass/250805/32 "2004-06-17T19:55:58Z")
> [@harmless](#): > > So far in the running we have: > **Eve - 6** Band name! ---
**Author:** ![Salem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8c91f0/32.png) [@Salem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Salem)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2004, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-doper-smartass/250805/33 "2004-06-17T19:59:54Z")
Damn. I _knew_ these pants made my ass look dumb. ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2004, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-doper-smartass/250805/34 "2004-06-17T20:01:43Z")
> [@Salem](#): > > Damn. I _knew_ these pants made my ass look dumb. heh! dumbass! šŸ˜‰ Hey, you said it! ---
**Author:** ![Salem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8c91f0/32.png) [@Salem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Salem)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2004, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-doper-smartass/250805/35 "2004-06-17T20:05:21Z")
Oh sure, _now_ you tell me. Where were you when I was trying them on? ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2004, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-doper-smartass/250805/36 "2004-06-17T20:09:17Z")
On the other side of the one-way mirror. Care to see the photos? [www.salems\_ass.com](Yeah, right) ---
**Author:** ![Salem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8c91f0/32.png) [@Salem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Salem)\ **Post date:** [June 17, 2004, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-doper-smartass/250805/37 "2004-06-17T21:03:22Z")
That was _you_? Sorry about that. I assumed it was some 67 year old security guard who needed his day brightened. I guess we all know what happens when you assumeā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2004, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-doper-smartass/250805/38 "2004-06-18T17:26:19Z")
I didnā€™t even have to leave the page to find my nominating entry: > [@](#): > > You see, Iā€™m an optimist: I prefer to see the wife as half un-eaten. And the winner is šŸ˜ƒ ! ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2004, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-doper-smartass/250805/39 "2004-06-18T17:28:13Z")
What the hell was that! I did write ā€œEveā€ not šŸ˜ƒ . :smack: ---
**Author:** ![DeadlyAccurate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2004, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-doper-smartass/250805/40 "2004-06-18T17:40:05Z")
Another vote for **Eve** , followed by **Cervaise**. His ā€œThe Telemarketer Speaks. I Respondā€ thread should earn 5 votes alone. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-doper-smartass/250805.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-doper-smartass/250805.md?page=3)