# Name your favorite Doper Smartass! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 17, 2004, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-doper-smartass/250805 "2004-06-17T03:53:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2004, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-doper-smartass/250805/81 "2004-06-21T22:50:16Z")
> [@Crunchy Frog](#): > > I give you 3 Welcome Wagon threads, 5 Bullet Reviews, the Ego-Stroking Thread, Halvsie the Two-Legged Dog, Did **TruePisces** ever tell you that we actually **saw** Halvsie on TV the day she was over visiting with some other friends? I about fell off my own couch. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2004, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-doper-smartass/250805/82 "2004-06-21T23:55:29Z")
As an inveterate wiseguy, I’m offended at my ass not being smart enough for honorable mention. Or maybe I’m a cynic, not a smartass. My humor is wry and sardonic, _that’s_ it. crap ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2004, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-doper-smartass/250805/83 "2004-06-22T00:01:48Z")
> [@harmless](#): > > **One last Smartass Update:** > > Blah blah blah > > **No Clue Boy** - 1 > > bunch of losers > > **NoClueBoy** - 1 Dumbass! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2004, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-doper-smartass/250805/84 "2004-06-22T00:25:09Z")
> [@Morgyn](#): > > Did **TruePisces** ever tell you that we actually **saw** Halvsie on TV the day she was over visiting with some other friends? > > I about fell off my own couch. No, I never see her here or on IMs anymore and I lost her phone number. Tell her to e-mail or call me sometime though. So was it a Jack Russell terrier that you saw, or some other breed? ---
**Author:** ![flamingbananas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f4b2a3/32.png) [@flamingbananas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flamingbananas)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2004, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-doper-smartass/250805/85 "2004-06-22T00:59:16Z")
Can I have a vote? After all, my ass must be very smart, finding this site at such an early age and all… ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2004, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-doper-smartass/250805/86 "2004-06-22T01:12:06Z")
> [@Crunchy Frog](#): > > … So was it a Jack Russell terrier that you saw, or some other breed? I think the dog is only half Jack Russell terrier. ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2004, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-doper-smartass/250805/87 "2004-06-22T01:34:28Z")
> [@flamingbananas](#): > > Can I have a vote? After all, my ass must be very smart, finding this site at such an early age and all… Personal computer: $1,500 SDMB charter membership: $4.95 Condom to carry in wallet until it crumbles: $1.00 Learning to tolerate others getting a bit of well-deserved praise without feeling the need to draw attention to oneself: priceless ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2004, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-doper-smartass/250805/88 "2004-06-22T01:41:07Z")
Hmmm. I’m more of a [smart aleck](http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/msmartalec.html), I guess. ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2004, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-doper-smartass/250805/89 "2004-06-22T03:24:20Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > Dumbass! 😛 I was just reiterating for emphasis. :rolleyes: 😛 Maybe we _should_ go ahead and bump you up to 2, :wally ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2004, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-doper-smartass/250805/90 "2004-06-22T03:25:45Z")
> [@flamingbananas](#): > > Can I have a vote? After all, my ass must be very smart, finding this site at such an early age and all… Sorry, but are you even _allowed_ to say ass? I mean A-S-S? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![celestina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/258eb7/32.png) [@celestina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/celestina)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2004, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-doper-smartass/250805/91 "2004-06-22T05:31:58Z")
> [@lainaf](#): > > My smartass vote goes to **NoClueBoy**. > > My vote for most annoying posting affectation goes to **Celestina** for that “[giggle]” thing. [celestina fingerin’ her virtual paddle] Well, I do declare, **lainaf** , how do I respond to that? I shall point out that my name is all LOWER CASE letters, hon. Get it right the next time you try to talk about me. Now as to this matter of my gigglin’. Well, the only response I have to that is to say: 😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛😛 [giggle] I’m the Gigglemeister. Gigglin’ is what I do, and I do it quite well, thank you very much. And, as long as I’ve been on these boards, I don’t have to justify my gigglin’ to some lil’ upstart like you. [sniff] **{{{harmless}}}** , thank you for gettin’ **lainaf** told. S/he needs to get the rod s/he’s shoved up his/her ass out and lighten up. Life’s too short not to laugh and have fun. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Hot\_Buttered\_Toast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b38774/32.png) [@Hot\_Buttered\_Toast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hot_Buttered_Toast)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2004, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-doper-smartass/250805/92 "2004-06-22T06:39:11Z")
I have a semi-related question. Is smartassery the same thing as snarkiness, or are they unrelated concepts? ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2004, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-doper-smartass/250805/93 "2004-06-22T15:41:39Z")
> [@celestina](#): > > [giggle] > > I’m the Gigglemeister. Gigglin’ is what I do, and I do it quite well, thank you very much. And, as long as I’ve been on these boards, I don’t have to justify my gigglin’ to some lil’ upstart like you. [sniff] > > **{{{harmless}}}** , thank you for gettin’ **lainaf** told. S/he needs to get the rod s/he’s shoved up his/her ass out and lighten up. Life’s too short not to laugh and have fun. 🙂 Don’t be too quick on the huggles. I never said I _disagreed_ with what **lainaf** said; just that it deserved 2 points. ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2004, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-doper-smartass/250805/94 "2004-06-22T15:56:42Z")
> [@Hot Buttered Toast](#): > > I have a semi-related question. Is smartassery the same thing as snarkiness, or are they unrelated concepts? I’m not sure. I believe them to be the same thing. Do you have a nomination, if that’s the case? I re-read my OP and remembered it was “51 Greatest Smartasses” and last count we had around 32, so we do have room for another 19 or so. 😉 But unless we have a sudden spurt of voters, it’s still **Eve** ’s game. * * * Vote **harmless** for Greatest Smartass 2004 ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2004, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-doper-smartass/250805/95 "2004-06-22T16:04:24Z")
> [@celestina](#): > > [celestina fingerin’ her virtual paddle] > 🙂 Is that some sort of masturbation reference? And now, a **Toast**! They are related, but not exclusively to each other. A person can be extremely snarky, like say, [name deleted]\*, and not be a smartass. Smartassery has to have some humour. Conversely (I LOVE those shoes!), a smartass doesn’t have to be mean. **Eve** walks the fine line between the two, as though she inherited Tara, which is why she scores so high in this contest. **Lieu** just talks a lot of shit. 😛 He’s rarely mean spirited or hateful, though. I’m insane, and many of my smartassy posts come out as non sequiturs to the sub humans inhabiting most of these fora. :eek: Who said that? As for **Harmboy** , it’s his thread, plus he’s tweaking the Data, being an android fancier and all. Answer your queston? \*I was gonna say a name, put it ain’t no Pit here, with know? ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2004, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-doper-smartass/250805/96 "2004-06-22T16:18:29Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > And now, a **Toast**! They are related, but not exclusively to each other. A person can be extremely snarky, like say, [name deleted]\*, and not be a smartass. Smartassery has to have some humour. Conversely (I LOVE those shoes!), a smartass doesn’t have to be mean. **Eve** walks the fine line between the two, as though she inherited Tara, which is why she scores so high in this contest. **Lieu** just talks a lot of shit. 😛 He’s rarely mean spirited or hateful, though. I’m insane, and many of my smartassy posts come out as non sequiturs to the sub humans inhabiting most of these fora. :eek: Who said that? As for **Harmboy** , it’s his thread, plus he’s tweaking the Data, being an android fancier and all. > > Answer your queston? > > \*I was gonna say a name, put it ain’t no Pit here, with know? Ummmm…what’s a **harmboy**? :dubious: Android fancier? :dubious: :dubious: 'Splain yourself, poor-fave-or? ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2004, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-doper-smartass/250805/97 "2004-06-22T16:31:33Z")
> [@Crunchy Frog](#): > > No, I never see her here or on IMs anymore and I lost her phone number. Tell her to e-mail or call me sometime though. > > So was it a Jack Russell terrier that you saw, or some other breed? Not a clue. It was small, short-haired, and white in colour. I don’t think I saw patches of other colours on it. I can’t even remember if it was both legs on one side amputated, or the front on one side and the back on the other. I do remember that the critter was remarkably bouncy–it was very hard to believe it only had 2 legs. I’ll check with **TruePisces** , **Verrain** , and **sadillac**. They were all there, so one of them might remember. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2004, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-doper-smartass/250805/98 "2004-06-22T16:50:34Z")
harmboy = harmless farmboy tweaking the data - a double entendre. Manipulating facts and figures, plus having Star Trek sexual connotations. I told you most of youse don’t get it! 😛 Meessa really thinkin’ youssa messin’ wit the votes? No sirree. Meessa joking. ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2004, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-doper-smartass/250805/99 "2004-06-22T16:53:32Z")
[QUOTE=NoClueBoy] harm **boy** = harmless farm **boy** tweaking the data - a double entendre. Manipulating facts and figures, plus having Star Trek sexual connotations. [QUOTE] Ahem: **harmless** = (.)(.)! ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2004, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-doper-smartass/250805/100 "2004-06-22T17:00:44Z")
So… you’re sayin’ you got manboobs? Or… you like Artic birds? Or… you’re a woman? I think I actually used to know that. :dubious: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-doper-smartass/250805.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-doper-smartass/250805.md?page=6)