# Name your favorite Shel Silverstein poem... **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 21, 2003, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-shel-silverstein-poem/170105 "2003-04-21T19:37:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Roadwalker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e19b73/32.png) [@Roadwalker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roadwalker)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2003, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-shel-silverstein-poem/170105/21 "2003-04-22T02:02:46Z")
I read “Someone ate the Baby” to my high school class of tough kids and they loved it. It’s one of my favorites. I also like they limrick about his hair. The poems are musts for read aloud. ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2003, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-shel-silverstein-poem/170105/22 "2003-04-22T03:45:35Z")
My favorite is probably “The Winner” (the lyrics have always made me feel much better about being a coward!). [http://members.tripod.com/crazcowboy/Silverstein/winner.htm](http://members.tripod.com/crazcowboy/Silverstein/winner.htm) ---
**Author:** ![Salieri2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Salieri2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Salieri2)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2003, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-shel-silverstein-poem/170105/23 "2003-04-22T04:04:31Z")
I loved _Sick_, _Someone Ate the Baby_ , and _I’m Being Eaten By A Boa Constrictor_ , to name just a few. But IMHO, the best Shel, by far, was Different Dances (1979), now out-of-print–a wonderful, exuberant, depressing, poignant, hysterical, accusatory and satirical book of cartoons for adults…NOT something for the young ones. Every now and then I launch a used-book search for a copy I can afford. If you’ve never seen it, check it out sometime. Oh, and the one about washing dishes I can’t totally recall: starts “if you have to wash the dishes” and ends up dropping them on the floor. And the one about not picking your nose because there’s a fierce snail living in there. And… ---
**Author:** ![Second\_Star\_to\_the\_Right](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3bc359/32.png) [@Second\_Star\_to\_the\_Right](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Second_Star_to_the_Right)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2003, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-shel-silverstein-poem/170105/24 "2003-04-22T06:51:47Z")
Ah, Shel Silverstein. I’m definitely going to have to dig out my old copies of \* A Light in the Attic \* and \* Where the Sidewalk Ends\* after posting. I love all the poems mentioned already (“Sick” and “Sarah Sylvia Cynthia Stout” being favorites). One I remember that always struck a chord was called “Cloony the Clown” (sp?). Anyway, I can’t recall the whole poem cause it was a long one, but it was about this clown that was pretty much a failure( couldn’t make anyone laugh, etc.) so he tells everyone how he feels, that it makes him sad that he can’t make anyone laugh, and only then do they all laugh at him. I think the last line is something like: “And Cloony the Clown sat down and cried.” Sniff. - Uncle Shelby’s ABZ Book\* is friggin’ hilarious. “D is for Daddy. Daddy needs a haircut. Poor daddy. See the scissors? Poor, poor daddy…” Not exact, but that’s the gist of it. Ah, memories… ---
**Author:** ![HDS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/bb73d2/32.png) [@HDS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HDS)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2003, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-shel-silverstein-poem/170105/25 "2003-04-22T12:00:33Z")
Snowball I made myself a snowball As perfect as could be. I thought I’d keep it as a pet And let it sleep with me. I made it some pajamas And a pillow for its head. Then last night it ran away, But first - it wet the bed. And a big second for Hug O’ War. Gosh I love that one. ---
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2003, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-shel-silverstein-poem/170105/26 "2003-04-22T12:12:48Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Second Star to the Right \* > \*\*\* Uncle Shelby’s ABZ Book_ is friggin’ hilarious. > > “D is for Daddy. Daddy needs a haircut. Poor daddy. See the scissors? Poor, poor daddy…” Not exact, but that’s the gist of it. > Ah, memories… \*\* Yes! If I remember correctly, poor Daddy can’t afford a haircut because he spends all his money to buy you toys and oatmeal. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![hockeynut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c68b51/32.png) [@hockeynut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hockeynut)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2003, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-shel-silverstein-poem/170105/27 "2003-04-22T13:51:57Z")
I like Smart. If read aloud, use the voice of Ed from Ed, Edd N Eddy on the Cartoon Network… My dad gave me one dollar bill Cause I’m his smartest son, And I swapped it for two shiny quarters Cause two is more than one! And then I took the quarters And traded them to Lou… For three dimes – I guess he don’t know That three is more than two! Just the, along came old blind Bates And just cause he can’t see He gave me four nickels for my three dimes And four is more than three! And I took the nickels to Hiram Coombs Down at the seed-feed store, And the fool gave me five pennies for them And five is more than four! And then I went and showed my dad, And he got red in the cheeks And closed his eyes and shook his head Too proud of me to speak! ---
**Author:** ![Breezy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b3f665/32.png) [@Breezy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Breezy)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2003, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-shel-silverstein-poem/170105/28 "2003-04-22T16:53:52Z")
I don’t know that it’s my favorite, but one that occasionally starts in my head is "Homework, Oh Homework I hate you, you stink. I wish I could wash you away in the sink. I’d rather takes baths with a man eating shark or wrestle a lion alone in the dark…" I really can’t remember much more of it, but I used to have the whole thing memorized. Anyone know the rest? ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2003, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-shel-silverstein-poem/170105/29 "2003-04-22T17:23:01Z")
Inside everybody’s nose There lives a sharp-toothed snail. And if you stick your finger in He may bite off your nail. (something something something) and he may bite your ring off. Stick it all the way And he may bite the whole darn thing off! (or something like that!) ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2003, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-shel-silverstein-poem/170105/30 "2003-04-22T17:25:27Z")
Is a wild strawberry really wild? Will it bite an adult? Will it snap at a child? ---
**Author:** ![Stephi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecd19e/32.png) [@Stephi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stephi)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2003, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-shel-silverstein-poem/170105/31 "2003-04-22T18:27:30Z")
That would have to be : Ickle Me, Pickle Me, Tickle Me Too! Ickle Me, Pickle Me, Tickle Me Too Went for a ride in a flying shoe. “Hooray” “What Fun!” “It’s time we flew” Said Ickle Me, Pickle Me, Tickle Me Too Ickle was captain and Pickle was crew And Tickle served coffe and mulligan stew As Higher And higher And higher they flew Ickle Me, Pickle Me, Tickle Me Too Ickle Me, Pickle Me, Tickle Me Too Over the sun and beyond the blue “Hold on!” Stay in!" “I hope we do!” Cried Ickle Me, Pickle Me, Tickle Me Too Ickle Me, Pickle Me, Tickle Me Too Never returned to the world they knew, And nobody Knows what’s Happened to Dear Ickle Me, Pickle Me, Tickle Me Too ---
**Author:** ![taichi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea666f/32.png) [@taichi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/taichi)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2003, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-shel-silverstein-poem/170105/32 "2003-04-22T18:53:29Z")
World Eater said: **My memory is failing me, but IIRC there was one about someone diving into an empty pool. It had had something about “the most twistable turnable” in it, but I don’t remember if that was describing the dive or the diver.** I think that is the one that starts out something like “The fanciest dive that was ever dove was done by Melissa of Coconut Grove…” and then ends with “…and looked down and saw the pool had no water” Ha. Funny. ---
**Author:** ![FabioClone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5f8ce5/32.png) [@FabioClone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FabioClone)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2003, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-shel-silverstein-poem/170105/33 "2003-04-22T19:51:30Z")
The Giving Tree I always felt sorry for the poor tree. She gave all she had to that ungrateful lump of organic matter. The beautiful part is that she was so happy to do it. Excuse me. I need to go wallow in childhood sentimentality. ---
**Author:** ![Violin\_D\_Ingrate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/898d66/32.png) [@Violin\_D\_Ingrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Violin_D_Ingrate)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2003, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-shel-silverstein-poem/170105/34 "2003-04-22T22:57:05Z")
Mrs. McTwitter the babysitter I think she’s a little bit crazy She thinks a babysitter is supposed To sit upon the baby ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-shel-silverstein-poem/170105/35 "2003-04-23T04:12:28Z")
Oh, one I just thought of. The one about the guy with the jeweled garden. ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-shel-silverstein-poem/170105/36 "2003-04-23T04:31:41Z")
My third grade English teacher, Mr. Gerstel, was one of those great teachers who visibly love their job and are able to share that enthusiasm with the kids. He used to read Shel Silverstein poems to us in the most over-the-top method imaginable, jumping around, putting his whole voice and body into the performance. We loved it. To this day I can recite “Paul Bunyan” from memory, although I can’t quite match the gruff bellow he used. “The Little Blue Engine” is another favorite of mine. I’ll spare you the recitation, as they would take too long to type; if you don’t know the poems, go buy the books…now! Thanks, Mr. Gerstel. ---
**Author:** ![Second\_Star\_to\_the\_Right](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3bc359/32.png) [@Second\_Star\_to\_the\_Right](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Second_Star_to_the_Right)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-shel-silverstein-poem/170105/37 "2003-04-23T05:03:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Thudlow Boink \* > \*\*Yes! If I remember correctly, poor Daddy can’t afford a haircut because he spends all his money to buy you toys and oatmeal. 🙂 \*\* That’s right! I guess the least I could give the guy is a free haircut. 😉 - The Giving Tree \* is a beautiful story. I think it’s time for a re-read. Ooh, “Smart” and “Ickle me, Pickle me, Tickle me too”, more favorites. Man, this thread is bringing me back. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![racer72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/racer72/32/3075_2.png) [@racer72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racer72)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-shel-silverstein-poem/170105/38 "2003-04-23T12:15:16Z")
Nothing to do? Nothing to do? Put some mustard in your shoe, Fill your pockets full of soot, Drive a nail into your foot, Put some sugar in your hair, Place your toys upon the stair, Smear some jelly on the latch, Eat some mud and strike a match, Draw a picture on the wall, Roll some marbles down the hall, Pour some ink in daddy’s cap - - Now go upstairs and take a nap. ---
**Author:** ![Roberta\_Plant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c89c15/32.png) [@Roberta\_Plant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roberta_Plant)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-shel-silverstein-poem/170105/39 "2003-04-23T13:04:05Z")
The Whatifs, which I think of every time I can’t sleep: Last night, while I lay thinking here, Some Whatifs crawled inside my ear And pranced and partied all night long And sang their same old Whatif song: Whatif I’m dumb in school? Whatif they’ve closed the swimming pool? Whatif I get beat up? Whatif there’s poison in my cup? Whatif I start to cry? Whatif I get sick and die? Whatif I flunk that test? Whatif green hair grows on my chest? Whatif nobody likes me? Whatif a bolt of lightning strikes me? Whatif I don’t grow tall? Whatif my head starts getting smaller? Whatif the fish won’t bite? Whatif the wind tears up my kite? Whatif they start a war? Whatif my parents get divorced? Whatif the bus is late? Whatif my teeth don’t grow in straight? Whatif I tear my pants? Whatif I never learn to dance? Everything seems swell, and then The nighttime Whatifs strike again! ---
**Author:** ![Saintly\_Loser](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saintly_loser/32/4045_2.png) [@Saintly\_Loser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saintly_Loser)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-shel-silverstein-poem/170105/40 "2003-04-23T15:24:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by RealityChuck \* > \*\*There’s also “Stacy Brown has Two.” 😉 \*\* Yep. And “I Saw Polly in a Porny,” and “Freaking at the Freakers’ Ball,” and “Get My Rocks Off,” among others. I’m always amazed that Shel Silverstein, revered childrens’ book author, was also a songwriter of amazingly dirty songs. A number of them were recorded by Dr. Hook & the Medicine Show, and Shel himself released an album or two. Definitely NOT for children. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-shel-silverstein-poem/170105.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/name-your-favorite-shel-silverstein-poem/170105.md?page=3)