# Names you think are cool that you would never name your kids **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 12, 2003, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/names-you-think-are-cool-that-you-would-never-name-your-kids/168291 "2003-04-12T17:37:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Fretful\_Porpentine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fretful_porpentine/32/2873_2.png) [@Fretful\_Porpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fretful_Porpentine)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/names-you-think-are-cool-that-you-would-never-name-your-kids/168291/21 "2003-04-13T00:40:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by chrisk72 \* > \*\*I love the name Sebastian for a boy, but outside of Europe he’d just get his ass kicked. I think Ariadne (air - ee- add - nee) is a beautiful (Greek) name for a girl, but everyone else I have ever mentioned it to says “yuck!” \*\* I really like both of those names, except I’m sort of iffish about Greek mythology names in general, since everybody in those stories seems to end tragically. Cassandra, for instance, is a beautiful name but too doom-and-gloomy to be useable. I also like the name Lyndall for a girl, but I know that everybody (in the US at least) would hear it as “Linda,” and she’d have to spend half her life correcting the spelling and pronunciation. ---
**Author:** ![zydecat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e480ec/32.png) [@zydecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zydecat)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/names-you-think-are-cool-that-you-would-never-name-your-kids/168291/22 "2003-04-13T01:18:10Z")
Oh man, please- please-please, somebody use TCOB (pronounced Tee-Cob) short for Takin’ Care of Business. I’m still holding out for a woman who will go for that one. Guess that’s why I’m on the computer all alone on a Sat nite. BTW, if you use it, I’ll show up anytime, anywhere for the Christening. ---
**Author:** ![Skerri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Skerri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skerri)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/names-you-think-are-cool-that-you-would-never-name-your-kids/168291/23 "2003-04-13T01:26:43Z")
Good grief, this thread is making me laugh so hard I’ve busted a stitch in my lip. **Crap Nelson**??? So hideous it’s hilarious. I used to be friends with a guy named Sebastian. He went by “Bash”. It worked well for him, until he decided that hippie was the way to be. I’ve always liked the name ‘Holden’. Yes, I know, trite and over-used. The thing that killed me was when I suggested the name, the only response I received was “yeah, Holden my balls!” I guess I’ll have to find another name I like. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/names-you-think-are-cool-that-you-would-never-name-your-kids/168291/24 "2003-04-13T01:39:24Z")
Since last posting, I’ve thought of a few more: “Mayor”-- that name in front of my last name just sounds _awesome_! “Happy”-- seeing this as a name in _Death of a Salesman_ intrigued me. I wouldn’t name my kid this, though. So I took it as my username. “Kramer”-- Seinfeld fan that I am. “7”-- Seinfeld fan that I am. “Miller”-- hey, I like their beer. “Ace”-- I think I’ll save this for my next dog. “Junior”-- it would just sound cool. Happy ---
**Author:** ![sunstone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunstone/32/3372_2.png) [@sunstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sunstone)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/names-you-think-are-cool-that-you-would-never-name-your-kids/168291/25 "2003-04-13T02:23:09Z")
I’ve always thought that “Hypsiglena torquata” would be a lovely name for a daughter…sort of exotically mysterious with a touch of the hot tropics in my imagination. For a son, I fancy Gulo gulo. Hypsiglena torquata is the spotted nightsnake found in the Southwestern USA, while Gulo gulo is the wolverine. Gulo gulo is really appropriate, since it means “glutinous glutton” which pretty much described the eating habits of my sons as teenagers. Both names were rejected when put to the test…which consisted of going out on the back porch and hollering the name followed by “…time for supper” I have a very tolerant wife who settled for rather common masculine names for my two sons…but maybe my daughter-in-law will have a daughter…hmmmm…Hypsiglena torquata…ya gotta love it!!! ---
**Author:** ![fish\_in\_the\_sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7ba0ec/32.png) [@fish\_in\_the\_sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fish_in_the_sky)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/names-you-think-are-cool-that-you-would-never-name-your-kids/168291/26 "2003-04-13T02:24:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ataraxy \* > \*\*I’ve always liked Wolfgang for a boy, but nobody I’ve talked to likes it. > \*\* I work with a 20-something guy named Wolfgang. He’s a really sweet, upbeat, outgoing guy, which is not what I would have expected from somebody named Wolfgang. He goes by “Wolfie” a lot. ---
**Author:** ![mnemosyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@mnemosyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mnemosyne)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/names-you-think-are-cool-that-you-would-never-name-your-kids/168291/27 "2003-04-13T02:25:37Z")
Well, the names that I initially thought of were all the names that I _love_, but would either go really badly with my SOs last name, or his family (all francophones) wouldn’t be able to pronounce properly without years of teaching. These names are names like Callum, Ewen, Ian…at last Malcolm might work, which is good because it was my grandfather’s name. Why did I have to fall in love with a french guy and not an irish one? ---
**Author:** ![djf750](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ea666f/32.png) [@djf750](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/djf750)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/names-you-think-are-cool-that-you-would-never-name-your-kids/168291/28 "2003-04-13T06:08:06Z")
“orgasm” would be cool since that is how we all really got here hi, i’m crap and this is orgasm. ---
**Author:** ![phraser](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a88e4f/32.png) [@phraser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phraser)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/names-you-think-are-cool-that-you-would-never-name-your-kids/168291/29 "2003-04-13T06:28:02Z")
My best mate from primary school loves the name Eggbert. She swears that her first child will be called this, whatever the gender. I guess it’s a kinda cool name :dubious: but **I** could never call a kid that. ---
**Author:** ![Shana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3bc359/32.png) [@Shana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shana)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/names-you-think-are-cool-that-you-would-never-name-your-kids/168291/30 "2003-04-13T06:34:28Z")
Jasper or Jeeves for a boy would be nice…For a girl I’d like Delphine. Actually I know a very cool American couple who now live in Prague. Their son’s name is Jasper. Too cool! ---
**Author:** ![herwono](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/9f8e36/32.png) [@herwono](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/herwono)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/names-you-think-are-cool-that-you-would-never-name-your-kids/168291/31 "2003-04-13T06:53:19Z")
I want to call my child Aragorn. or Strider. or Ranger. ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/names-you-think-are-cool-that-you-would-never-name-your-kids/168291/32 "2003-04-13T06:58:01Z")
Ima Hogg did very well for herself…so obviously a strange name doesn’t bode disaster. Crap Nelson sounds like a great name for an athlete or actor. Probably not a good name for a future proctologist or sewage disposal worker. I always thought a great name for a girl would be: Brunhilde. You gotta admit, you would never forget her name! (I suppose it would help if you were genetically sure she didn’t grow up to be 350 pounds and an opera singer…) ---
**Author:** ![ArrMatey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/arrmatey/32/3522_2.png) [@ArrMatey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArrMatey)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/names-you-think-are-cool-that-you-would-never-name-your-kids/168291/33 "2003-04-13T07:10:26Z")
Acquaintance’s son’s name: Wolfgang. Goes by Wolfie. Adorable kid. Sister’s name is Zoey. Had a highschool friend who claimed, should he have a daughter, he’d name her Jennifer Nathalia. Yes, just so she’d be Jenny Talia. ---
**Author:** ![MrBoy1967](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@MrBoy1967](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrBoy1967)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/names-you-think-are-cool-that-you-would-never-name-your-kids/168291/34 "2003-04-13T07:29:25Z")
A couple of things: I know of a lawyer in Dallas named King Solomon, and the daughter of the guy who made millions with his private jets is Chanda Lear. No joke. My Mom once taught a kid named Pslm Civ \_\_\_\_\_. As in the abbreviation for Psalm 104. I want to name my first born son “Jazz” as a middle name only. That way, if he doesn’t like it, he can just use the initial. Xanth is Greek for “yellow”-you’ll see it in colorings like “xanthic”, and so it sometimes gets translated as “fair-haired” when used as a name-for blondes only, of course. And if you really like this thread, check out “Names” by Paul Dickson. Chapter 9 is LOL funny, with actual persons names like: Blaise Arsement Phoebe B. Peabody Beebe Hardin Biggerstaff Naughtyburd Curtsey Flash Dumdum Rotten Earp Lotawanna Flateau Quo Vadis Gates Rev. Dunk HookerEplurbus Kitchen Iwanna Looney Bugzester Maxim Olney W. Nicewonger Cecil O’Dear Fawntreba Pyrtle Loyce Quattlebaum Hillious Rather Goolsby Scroggins Craven Tart Union Uzzle Icy VermillionAnthropomorphic Westphal McDonald Yawn Opal Lively Zickafoose ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 10:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/names-you-think-are-cool-that-you-would-never-name-your-kids/168291/35 "2003-04-13T10:16:10Z")
When I was pregnant, my SO and I were over his parents’ house for dinner, complete with SIL and her kids, etc. We were talking about names, and SO says, “I really think Chlamydia is a pretty name. Too bad it’s something…you know, bad.” Of course the young nephews immediately wanted to knnow whta ‘Chlamydia’ meant. ---
**Author:** ![godzillatemple](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/49beb7/32.png) [@godzillatemple](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/godzillatemple)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 11:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/names-you-think-are-cool-that-you-would-never-name-your-kids/168291/36 "2003-04-13T11:28:39Z")
Well, I’m Jewish by birth and have a very stereotypically Jewish last name. For years, I thought it would be cool to name my first-born son “Christian” or “Jesus” (Spanish pronunciation) just because of the inherent dichotomy. I am getting married in two weeks to a wonderful Chinese woman, and now I’m thinking it would be cool to give our children names that are extremely ethnic – just not Jewish or Chinese. Can you imagine a kid who is half Jewish and half Chinese with a name like, say, Seamus? Or Guadalupe? Or Abdullah? But no, I would never actually do that to one of my kids. I just think it would be cool… 😉 Barry ---
**Author:** ![Salty\_Captain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Salty\_Captain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Salty_Captain)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/names-you-think-are-cool-that-you-would-never-name-your-kids/168291/37 "2003-04-13T11:44:25Z")
I know a girl with appollotheia as her middle name. It sounded a bit strange at first to me but i actually quite like it. If i ever have kids i want to give them really obscure middle names so that if they don’t like them they only have to use them occasionally. I’ve always liked the name Dmitri for some reason. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/names-you-think-are-cool-that-you-would-never-name-your-kids/168291/38 "2003-04-13T12:12:42Z")
I like Dmitri, too. I favor Demetria for a girl. Too bad I’m not Greek. I also like Dominick. Too bad I’m not Italian. I especially like Akira. Too bad I’m not Japanese. Yeah, I know I could name my kids that, anyway, but I don’t want them or me to have to endure a life of explaining. Well, that, and the fact that my husband said “no” to all. Zora’s a wonderful name, but unfortunately, I think most people will associate it more with Joe Millionaire than with Ms. Hurston. I love the name Helen, but it wouldn’t work too well with my last name, which is Geller. And my folks always say they should have named me Gonsomma. (Mad props to whoever figures it out!) ---
**Author:** ![peepthis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9d8465/32.png) [@peepthis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peepthis)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/names-you-think-are-cool-that-you-would-never-name-your-kids/168291/39 "2003-04-13T12:16:26Z")
Tv chef Jamie Oliver just had a new daughter born this week, and named her **Daisy Boo**. It’s a great name, and Boo as a middle name just rolls off the tongue. ---
**Author:** ![racer72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/racer72/32/3075_2.png) [@racer72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racer72)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2003, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/names-you-think-are-cool-that-you-would-never-name-your-kids/168291/40 "2003-04-13T12:39:19Z")
I work with 2 fellows both named Rock. One of them has a brother named, yes, Stone. When I asked him if he had a sister named Pebbles he did not think it was funny. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/names-you-think-are-cool-that-you-would-never-name-your-kids/168291.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/names-you-think-are-cool-that-you-would-never-name-your-kids/168291.md?page=3)