# Naming the unborn. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 26, 2003, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naming-the-unborn/171406 "2003-04-26T23:59:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2003, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naming-the-unborn/171406/21 "2003-04-27T16:32:08Z")
QueenAl, that’s wonderful. I always thought mine looked like something from Alien. Then she started kicked and I was sure she was something from alien. We knew the sex of our daughter early. We had her name picked out at approximately six months. We didn’t use it until after she was born. For a couple of reasons: superstition was part of it. We also thought we might change our mind, so we didn’t want to call her by her name, then have to explain to everyone why we changed our minds. Most of my girlfriends didn’t call their babies by their names until after they were born - maybe there is a regional or cultural component? Here is an interesting aside: Most of the people I know with kids adopted internationally refer to their kids by their birth names until arrival. My son was Chang Ho until he came home at six months, then became Alex. ---
**Author:** ![zev\_steinhardt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/97f17d/32.png) [@zev\_steinhardt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zev_steinhardt)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2003, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naming-the-unborn/171406/22 "2003-04-27T17:49:30Z")
Well, to throw in my own 1/50 of a dollar… We did not call our children by name before birth. In fact, we didn’t even call our children by name after birth either. According to Jewish custom, baby boys are named by the circumcision and baby girls are named in the synagouge during the week following their birth. Until then, we usually just called the kids “the baby” or “the boy” or “the crying, screaming, puking, sleeping thing.” (OK, so I’m kidding on the last one). My wife and I tend to have different philosiphies anyway. I pretty much refused to even discuss names with my wife until the baby arrived (whenever she asked for suggestions, I would throw out “Warbulton” for a boy and “Warbelina” for a girl.) It drove her a bit crazy, since she likes to have things planned out to the last detail. I, OTOH, didn’t want to start considering names until the baby got here (yeah, it’s a bit of unwarranted superstition on my part…) Zev Steinhardt ---
**Author:** ![kung\_fu\_lola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f4b2a3/32.png) [@kung\_fu\_lola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kung_fu_lola)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2003, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naming-the-unborn/171406/23 "2003-04-27T18:25:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Primaflora \* > \*\*While there may be some media manipulation involved, I’m sure they think of that baby as Connor, not as baby boy Peterson. \*\* Actually it’s Conor. This bothers me, since that spelling reads like “con-ORR”. ---
**Author:** ![dangermom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@dangermom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dangermom)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2003, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naming-the-unborn/171406/24 "2003-04-27T19:20:51Z")
> [@](#): > > We did not call our children by name before birth. In fact, we didn’t even call our children by name after birth either. According to Jewish custom, baby boys are named by the circumcision and baby girls are named in the synagouge during the week following their birth. Until then, we usually just called the kids “the baby” or “the boy” or “the crying, screaming, puking, sleeping thing.” (OK, so I’m kidding on the last one). How common is this among non-Jewish types? It seems to also be the custom in Denmark. When I got a new adopted niece last year, the family kept calling her “Baby girl” right up until the christening 6 weeks or so after the birth. They never told me her name until afterwards. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2003, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naming-the-unborn/171406/25 "2003-04-27T19:22:50Z")
> [@](#): > > I do feel, though, that naming is a rite of birth somehow. Naming after birth - though everybody narrows their choices down long beforehand, I’m sure - also appeals to my sense of drama. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Hanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b3f665/32.png) [@Hanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hanna)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2003, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naming-the-unborn/171406/26 "2003-04-27T19:35:20Z")
My brother and his wife (3 kids) have never known the sex or named any of their babies beforehand. They do get ultrasounds, but they like to keep it a surprise. They have actually waited until the very day they leave before they name - a few times we were worried the kid would leave unnamed. They ask for suggestions from family visitors (although they have never picked one of my names, they do ask), they believe they can’t name a baby until they have seen him or her. And I like the names they have picked for their kids - Collin, Carleigh and Grant. ---
**Author:** ![Omorka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/50afbb/32.png) [@Omorka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omorka)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2003, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naming-the-unborn/171406/27 "2003-04-27T20:28:12Z")
In my family, all fetuses are called B.J. until birth. (That stands for “Billy Joe” for a male and “Bobbi Jo” for a female.) My little wrist-thing said “B.J. Baby Girl” instead of my name for my first couple of days. I actually named the second of my two brothers in the hospital about a day and a half after his birth. A couple of friends of ours had a naming ceremony a full two weeks after the birth - we were all to dress in “faerie” attire and bring a token gift, along with a wish for the new arrival. In essence, we were all “fairy godmothers!” I thought it was awfully cutesy, but I did enjoy it quite a bit, and it was certainly more tasteful than giving the fetus a name at quickening or first ultrasound or whenever. ---
**Author:** ![KellyM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/57b2e6/32.png) [@KellyM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KellyM)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2003, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naming-the-unborn/171406/28 "2003-04-27T21:38:54Z")
In Illinois, if you do not name your child within 24 hours of the birth, the birth will be recorded as ‘Baby Boy Lastname’ or ‘Baby Girl Lastname’ and you will have to file an additional form with the state to get it changed when you do name it. ---
**Author:** ![zev\_steinhardt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/97f17d/32.png) [@zev\_steinhardt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zev_steinhardt)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2003, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naming-the-unborn/171406/29 "2003-04-27T21:57:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by KellyM \* > \*\*In Illinois, if you do not name your child within 24 hours of the birth, the birth will be recorded as ‘Baby Boy Lastname’ or ‘Baby Girl Lastname’ and you will have to file an additional form with the state to get it changed when you do name it. \*\* In New York, they simply issue the birth certificate with a blank first name and instructions on how to get it changed when you finally decide on a name (provided you do it within six months). So far, we’ve gone through the process three times. Zev Steinhardt ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2003, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naming-the-unborn/171406/30 "2003-04-27T22:17:24Z")
Maybe some of it is just the result of living in the touchy-feely modern world. We suffered two late miscarriages before our two surviving children were born; in both cases they were medically classified as ‘non-viable foetus’, rather than ‘stillborn baby’ - 28 weeks is the cutoff for this, I believe. In both cases a full labour was necessary and it just didn’t seem right to sweep everything under the carpet - they were small but perfectly formed, but sadly lifeless babies to us (they really were, right down to the fingernails), no matter what the textbooks might call them. On an emotional level, it was completely right for us to respect these tiny beings by naming them. Fortunately the hospital was very sensitive about the whole thing and they voluntarily funded ‘proper’ burials for both of them (I realise that some people reading are probably reeling in disbelief now, stay with me…). We are Christians and although I’m not at all certain when, how(and sometimes indeed _if_) an organism acquires what could be described as ‘a soul’, it just seemed ‘right’ to be respectful about the whole thing. Did the NHS waste resources on us? Possibly, but consider that we probably attained a more complete sense of closure than we might otherwise have done, perhaps omission here would have led to some other burden in the future (i.e. counselling, psychiatric care or some such). Did naming them actually perform any useful purpose? Yes, I believe it did; we aren’t forced to use awkward terms like ‘the first one we lost’(or worse); we can use a name. Of course the names don’t link to any idea of personality for us, but(for us at least) they were an intrinsic and I would say almost essential part of the picture. ---
**Author:** ![Hanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b3f665/32.png) [@Hanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hanna)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2003, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naming-the-unborn/171406/31 "2003-04-27T23:54:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by KellyM \* > \*\*In Illinois, if you do not name your child within 24 hours of the birth, the birth will be recorded as ‘Baby Boy Lastname’ or ‘Baby Girl Lastname’ and you will have to file an additional form with the state to get it changed when you do name it. \*\* In Wisconsin, you have until you leave the hospital for the birth certificate (about 2 days in my SIL’s cases), but (according to my brother and his wife) legally a year after the birth to name your child. Not that they’ve ever waited that long. ---
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2003, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naming-the-unborn/171406/32 "2003-04-28T03:41:11Z")
A family in Bakersfield, when I was a kid, didn’t name _any_ of the kids (7 kids, I think) 'till they were like 5 or 6, when the kid had a say in it. They would have a party to announce the name. Sounds pretty wierd, but it seemed to work out pretty well for them. Up until then they would refer to the child by his/her birth order. “Mary, have you seen four anywhere?” Mostly they used pet names, or toe’s, like “honey”, or “sister”. One of them actually took the family dog’s name. “Butch” 😃 Butch was a girl dog, BTW _All_ us kids thought it was _ireally_ cool. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2003, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naming-the-unborn/171406/33 "2003-04-28T05:37:45Z")
If anyone remembers the skier Picabo Street, her parents did something much the same. Didn’t name her until what we’d all consider a very late age. Of course, when they DID, it became quite apparent why they’d waited - couldn’t come up with one decent name between 'em. 😉 😉 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Kakkerlak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bb73d2/32.png) [@Kakkerlak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kakkerlak)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2003, 7:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naming-the-unborn/171406/34 "2003-04-28T07:09:58Z")
The couple who were directors of our summer camp when I was a kid referred to their unborn as “Bud”, for “Baby Under Development”. Thomas Jr. ended up carrying that nickname for a lot of years. One of my oldest friends (who I met at that summer camp when we were kids) is pregnant, just found out this week. I asked her if she was referring to the zygote as “Bud”, and she sheepishly admitted that around their house it’s being called “the puppy”, because that’s how they are explaining it to their dog. ---
**Author:** ![SanibelMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@SanibelMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanibelMan)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2003, 10:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naming-the-unborn/171406/35 "2003-04-28T10:55:10Z")
Natalie and I didn’t name our son until after he was born. We’d narrowed it down to either Michael or Scott, then decided on Michael after holding him for a few hours. Then a week or so ago I turn on the news and find that Michael was the most common boy’s name of 2002. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![sugaree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@sugaree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sugaree)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2003, 11:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naming-the-unborn/171406/36 "2003-04-28T11:06:28Z")
I think that in the days of higher infant mortality, it made sad sense not to give a name to a creature who might not see his or her first birthday. It was almost a anti-bonding, a way to try to minimize the attatchment in order to minimize the emotional devastation. Nowadays, in developed countries, because of higher survival rates and fewer pregnancies, it’s less of a risk to become attached to a baby, even before birth. I’ve made lists of baby names since I was a kid, and I drive my husband crazy asking him, “What do you think of this name for a girl? What do you think of that name with our last name?” We both agree that for us, the final decision will be made once the kid is born. We’re not going to know what name absolutely, really fits until we all meet in person. ---
**Author:** ![auRa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c4cdca/32.png) [@auRa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auRa)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2003, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naming-the-unborn/171406/37 "2003-04-28T12:50:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Boscibo \* > **My brother and his wife (3 kids) have never known the sex or named any of their babies beforehand. They do get ultrasounds, but they like to keep it a surprise.** Of course, sometimes even ultrasounds don’t reveal the truth. My parents were repeatedly told that they were going to have a baby girl. The OB-GYN was almost as surprised as they were when (my third little brother the) **Child Genius** was born. Luckily, they hadn’t started calling him any specific name yet. In our family, the actual name is announced at the christening; before then, the baby is referred to by a nickname. I was Ykä, which translates to “puke”. (I love my parents, really I do.) Then again, **The Eldest** was referred to as Musti, which is the Finnish equivalent of “Spot”: the archetypal “dog name”. I was really disappointed when he turned out to be a baby instead of a puppy. I’ve seen this in many other Finnish families as well, but I don’t know how widespread it really is. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2003, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naming-the-unborn/171406/38 "2003-04-28T13:07:39Z")
My wife and I had an interim name for our baby until she was born. At her confirmation, she took her interim name for her confirmation name. Friends of ours called their baby “Ignaz” until she was born, thereafter Susan. ---
**Author:** ![Ceejaytee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ceejaytee/32/2956_2.png) [@Ceejaytee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ceejaytee)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2003, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naming-the-unborn/171406/39 "2003-04-28T13:37:41Z")
We called our in utero baby by a nickname until we found out his gender. Then each day we would call him by a different name until we we settled on the name we liked the best–Aaron–and we’ve used that ever since. Of course, since he was born 17 months ago, we have a half dozen nicknames we use when we talk to him. He was called Aaron in utero more than he is now. ---
**Author:** ![irishgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2003, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naming-the-unborn/171406/40 "2003-04-28T13:55:33Z")
My parents didn’t name any of us for several hours. They belong to the camp that waits to see what name “suits” the baby…my younger sister was called “Patsy Puker” for her entire first day. My father has an odd sense of humour. In the UK and Ireland it is much less common for parents to know the sex prior to the birth, so most people do the nickname thing. My friend had her son on Thursday. He was called Sprocket for the entire pregnancy, Liam for about an hour, and then finally Piers…which apparently is sticking. I think that if the family have a name picked out (and if the baby is to be named after someone, especially so) it is only right that that name is used. Whatever happens. If they don’t have a name, and don’t want to chose one, that is of course their preogative. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naming-the-unborn/171406.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/naming-the-unborn/171406.md?page=3)