# Narcissistic and borderline personality disorders **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 7, 2009, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/narcissistic-and-borderline-personality-disorders/502164 "2009-07-07T04:17:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2009, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/narcissistic-and-borderline-personality-disorders/502164/41 "2009-07-08T03:05:25Z")
> [@uglybeech](#): > > Yeah, the use is for insurance and research purposes - like I said it’s much easier to punch a number into a spreadsheet than a personality. But it’s not to give you more information about the person. It gives you less. > > And I sure hope you could make some predictions about somebody based on whether they can be described by five of nine sentences in a book, and you’d probably be right - except where you’re wrong. Which is pretty much what you’re saying about your bf - wow he fits so well (except where he doesn’t). I haven’t just read a few sentences about it in the DSM. I read a whole book about BPD and did a research project on BPD for Abnormal Psych class. NPD I know less about, but still a bit more than is printed in the DSM. I know a couple other people who I strongly suspect have BPD also. > [@](#): > > Anyway I know it sounds like I’m being picky and bitchy - but you’re talking about making huge decisions based on what amounts to little more than the results of a Cosmo Quiz and what people you’ve never met are saying about other people you’ve never met who may or may not be like your bf in various ways. This is deep important stuff, and if you can’t look into your own heart and your own experiences and see all the complexities of your and his existence, or be strong enough to make a decision based on what you understand - then you’d probably be helped by thinking about those very profound issues for a while. > > Read some good literature - I dunno like Madame Bovary - if you want some insight. Read psychologists or the old psychoanalysts - they may have been wrong in so many ways, but they thought deeply into the nature of personality in ways the DSM was never meant to. The DSM is for something else altogether. I’m not making a decision only based on that. It’s more a way to describe how he is. But it’s interesting and kind of validating when you have someone whose behavior seems so bizarre and erratic and you can’t figure out what the hell is going on and if you’re just crazy or what, and then you find out it’s a lot more predictable and goal-oriented than it initially seems. Now if I met someone who acted like him I’d just stop seeing him and it would be over before it started and I’d never know if he had a personality disorder. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2009, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/narcissistic-and-borderline-personality-disorders/502164/42 "2009-07-08T03:13:21Z")
> [@Merneith](#): > > What’s special about you is, you’re the one trying to leave him. If you leave him, that makes him feel bad about himself, like he suspects he really is bad. If you stay, then he can tell himself that he’s not that bad after all. Yeah, I’m sure that’s at least a big part of it. But I don’t think it explains why he comes back even after years of no contact. > [@](#): > > This is the scariest thing you’ve posted. You and your daughter are in genuine danger. I would agree except that I’ve already stopped seeing him for extended periods of time and he didn’t do anything dangerous. He won’t try to FORCE me to see him, just manipulatively and relentlessly try to convince me to. ---
**Author:** ![supergoose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@supergoose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/supergoose)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2009, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/narcissistic-and-borderline-personality-disorders/502164/43 "2009-07-08T04:35:12Z")
> [@Blackberry](#): > > I would agree except that I’ve already stopped seeing him for extended periods of time and he didn’t do anything dangerous. He won’t try to FORCE me to see him, just manipulatively and relentlessly try to convince me to. I have no dog in this fight, I just want to point out that this doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s gotten to the point where he feels he has lost you completely. After all, his manipulation works - you come back eventually. So you really can’t use that as evidence that he would let you leave totally and forever, because that might very well have yet to happen according to him. ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2009, 8:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/narcissistic-and-borderline-personality-disorders/502164/44 "2009-07-08T08:38:05Z")
> [@Long\_Time\_First\_Time](#): > > My ex-husband is a narcissist. I didn’t realize this until I went to therapy when we were splitting up and his behaviors (which I could never understand) were explained through that lens. Then everything made sense. > > I totally understand your feeling that there’s _something_ there, and why you feel you can’t just walk away and never look back. > > Being with my ex- was like being on a roller coaster - the ups are thrilling, there is never a dull moment what with the walking on egg shells all the time. But, finally, I got too tired. My own mental health was suffering, and after a long time and some professional help I learned to value my own feelings as much as his.. Change the pronouns around and that’s my ex-wife. Stop making excuses for Mr. I’m #1 and DTMFA! Pack up your shit and get out. Leave. Go far, FAR away. You may actually have to move far away, as since you’re co-dependent on him you may feel you’ve made a mistake and go back. Do not go back. There are much better men out there. ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2009, 9:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/narcissistic-and-borderline-personality-disorders/502164/45 "2009-07-08T09:30:42Z")
My 2 pence worth. Being with someone entails being with all aspects of their personality. You can’t split ‘the disordered bit that makes me unhappy’ away from ‘the rest of the person that does make me happy’ and justify that as a reason for staying together, unless you’re seeing strong evidence that ‘the disordered bit that makes me unhappy’ is actively being worked on and is improving. Does being with him make you feel happy, safe, secure, comforted? Do you feel that, with him, you will be able to have a happy life where the two of you support each other to realise your ambitions and dreams? Not too long ago there was a thread on this forum about leaving a boyfriend who exhibited many of the same controlling behaviours and there was some good advise in that thread. I suspect the only way to successfully leave someone like this is to cut off all contact with them, otherwise they are just going to engage you in arguments about why you’re wrong for not want to be with them (which, if you think about it, is pretty ridiculous). That’s a really tough decision to make after six years, but frankly, do you want to spend another six years feeling like this? ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2009, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/narcissistic-and-borderline-personality-disorders/502164/46 "2009-07-08T10:41:41Z")
Since you still seem motivated even after these stories - if you’re going to stay with this guy, go with the advice of someone in the thread above - you two **must** reliably do “couples therapy” with a reliable therapist that both of you can agree on (preferably with a dialectical behavioral therapist that he must see for his BPD/NPD as well), and you should probably go to therapy on your own as well. None of this ‘a few sessions and then he says he doesn’t like the therapist so he stops’ stuff - find another therapist for the two of you, or another boyfriend. And remember two things: - It’s in his best interest to make sure you stick around, because you’ve actually shown that you’re willing to come back after he drove you off - how many people in his life has he driven off and they haven’t returned? So he may make many promises that he’ll break as soon as he think it’s safe to do so. - Just because the ‘good’ part of his personality is a nice guy, that doesn’t mean he’s the right guy for you. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2009, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/narcissistic-and-borderline-personality-disorders/502164/47 "2009-07-08T11:03:00Z")
> [@CrazyCatLady](#): > > So, other than that, how was the play, Mrs. Lincoln? May I steal that for my sig? ---
**Author:** ![pepperlandgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@pepperlandgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pepperlandgirl)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2009, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/narcissistic-and-borderline-personality-disorders/502164/48 "2009-07-08T14:49:59Z")
> [@Blackberry](#): > > I would agree except that I’ve already stopped seeing him for extended periods of time and he didn’t do anything dangerous. He won’t try to FORCE me to see him, just manipulatively and relentlessly try to convince me to. Yeah, well, good luck with that. Sounds like true love to me :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![CrazyCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2009, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/narcissistic-and-borderline-personality-disorders/502164/49 "2009-07-08T15:14:33Z")
> [@Blackberry](#): > > Now if I met someone who acted like him I’d just stop seeing him and it would be over before it started and I’d never know if he had a personality disorder. Well, there you go. His behavior–his new and _improved_ behavior, might I add–is bad enough that it would keep you from going out with someone. So why doesn’t it keep you from going out with _him_? What makes him so special and worthwhile that you will put up with behavior out of him that you would find totally unacceptable in anybody else? Be specific. What does he give you or do for you that makes you think you guys are otherwise great together? **Nava** , you are of course welcome to steal anything I write, dear. Especially things I didn’t make up. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2009, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/narcissistic-and-borderline-personality-disorders/502164/50 "2009-07-08T15:16:19Z")
I did marriage counseling for a while with my ex, which failed miserably. She was the one who got us in it, and then she refused to go anymore. If you go, and the following things happen, take it as a reliable indicator that you need to run, not walk, away from the relationship. \> S/he refuses to go because the Counselor/Therapist is “always taking your side”. This should be a big clue that the person is really messed up and projecting or refusing to accept responsibility for his/her actions, but if they can’t get that, they’re NEVER going to get it and you aren’t going to have a normal relationship. \> Constant focus on random “look on his/her face” or “tone of his/her voice” OUTSIDE of direct conflictive discussions. Like when you walk into a room or when you say something out of the blue and they go off on your tone or the look on your face. This is a huge “eggshells” issue. You can’t live your life in fear of being ambushed at any moment over some random look on your face or tone in your voice. Believe me, I know. \> Irrational arguments in Therapy. It can be really disorienting to be in therapy and be hit with some incredibly irrational and hostile argument that you’re expected to defend yourself against without getting angry yourself. Unfortunately, it can also be like High School all over again, with the Therapist not comprehending the illogical nature of the argument and helping to put you further on the defensive by not understanding why you don’t get it. \> Store it up for Therapy, then WHAM!! Your partner may stop arguing things, may seem calmer and more reasonable. Then you get to your next therapy session and WHAMMO! Every little thing, every insane thought, every bizarro accusation comes flooding out in one big massive tidal wave of anger and blame. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2009, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/narcissistic-and-borderline-personality-disorders/502164/51 "2009-07-08T15:51:47Z")
> [@CrazyCatLady](#): > > . . . charm-charm-shitstorm-charm merry-go-round . . . That is the single best and most succinct description I have ever heard. Thank you very much! NPD is caused by a failure of empathy to develop. This is usually caused by a seriously bad childhood, often including the presence of at least one parent with NPD or some form of addiction. Research indicates that empathy either develops by a certain age or it doesn’t. It can not be developed later in life. A truly sincere and motivated narcissist can learn to act empathetic, and develop the ability (in much the same way autistic folks do) to read the emotions of others an to respond appropriately. The same techniques can be used by the insincere to develop even better “charming” skills,a nd to entrench themselves further into the lives and hearts of others while simultaneously carving away their strength and self-esteem. Bottom line, it’s extremely unlikely that he will get better. It is possible for him to learn to act better. He will continue to have no inner drive or motivation to maintain good actions, and will act rightly only to the extent that he perceives a benefit to himself. He will never feel an innate drive to avoid hurting other people. He will have only the drive to avoid being caught and/or blamed. I strongly recommend googling the words “Charming Narcissist” and reading what you find. The sites which come up are excellent, and they may better inform your decision in a more impersonal manner. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2009, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/narcissistic-and-borderline-personality-disorders/502164/52 "2009-07-08T16:25:09Z")
> [@CrazyCatLady](#): > > **Nava** , you are of course welcome to steal anything I write, dear. Especially things I didn’t make up. Fancy how you still run into new expressions after _counts_ 30 years using the language… ok, 25 of being able to use it for more than “Johnny is under the table.” ---
**Author:** ![beckwall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b487fb/32.png) [@beckwall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beckwall)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2009, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/narcissistic-and-borderline-personality-disorders/502164/53 "2009-07-08T16:33:22Z")
> [@uglybeech](#): > > There are like ten of them that have been “predefined” - which roughly amount to: the narcissists, the fussbudgets, the weirdos, the vamps, the unstable, the paranoid, the helpless, the clingy, the vulcans, the wallflowers and the thugs. These sound bites are merely generalizations and very distasteful. Vulcans and thugs? You shouldn’t call another human being those names. Do you also call someone with cancer “tumor girl”? Here is a brief description of the actual personality disorders. There are currently 10 conditions that are considered personality disorders, some of which have very little in common. Mental health professionals typically group those personality disorder types that share characteristics into one of three clusters: Cluster A Personality Disorders are those considered to be marked by odd, eccentric behavior. Paranoid (PPD), Schizoid and Schizotypal Personality Disorders are in this category. Cluster B Personality Disorders are evidenced by dramatic, erratic behaviors and include Histrionic (HPD), Narcissistic (NPD), Antisocial (APD or ASPD) and Borderline (BPD) Personality Disorders. Cluster C Personality Disorders are distinguished by the anxious, fearful behavior commonly seen in Obsessive-Compulsive (OCPD), Avoidant (APD) and Dependent (DPD) Personality Disorders ---
**Author:** ![Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/848f3c/32.png) [@Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuzzy_Dunlop)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2009, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/narcissistic-and-borderline-personality-disorders/502164/54 "2009-07-08T17:37:36Z")
> [@beckwall](#): > > [Quote=uglybeech] > There are like ten of them that have been “predefined” - which roughly amount to: the narcissists, the fussbudgets, the weirdos, the vamps, the unstable, the paranoid, the helpless, the clingy, the vulcans, the wallflowers and the thugs. These sound bites are merely generalizations and very distasteful. Vulcans and thugs? You shouldn’t call another human being those names. Do you also call someone with cancer “tumor girl”? Here is a brief description of the actual personality disorders. There are currently 10 conditions that are considered personality disorders, some of which have very little in common. Mental health professionals typically group those personality disorder types that share characteristics into one of three clusters: Cluster A Personality Disorders are those considered to be marked by odd, eccentric behavior. Paranoid (PPD), Schizoid and Schizotypal Personality Disorders are in this category. Cluster B Personality Disorders are evidenced by dramatic, erratic behaviors and include Histrionic (HPD), Narcissistic (NPD), Antisocial (APD or ASPD) and Borderline (BPD) Personality Disorders. Cluster C Personality Disorders are distinguished by the anxious, fearful behavior commonly seen in Obsessive-Compulsive (OCPD), Avoidant (APD) and Dependent (DPD) Personality Disorders [/QUOTE] Isn’t uglybeech’s point that they’re just words used to describe easily accessible human behavior and that as a lay person you’re better off relying on your months or years of observation than whether someone is essentially a\* clinically diagnosed\* weirdo or a _clinically diagnosed_ vulcan, as if the diagnosis would override what should have been observable from knowing a person intimately? Or did I miss the point. ---
**Author:** ![Algorithm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/algorithm/32/12204_2.png) [@Algorithm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Algorithm)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2009, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/narcissistic-and-borderline-personality-disorders/502164/55 "2009-07-08T18:07:52Z")
I dated a girl afflicted with BPD (who also exhibited traits of Histrionic Personality Disorder) for over a year. She was constantly calling on me to answer for things that didn’t need answering for (I got up to brush my teeth one morning while we were IMing before work and came back to a series of messages describing what a horrible person I was for ignoring her), threatening suicide when she didn’t get her way (this became more common when she learned its effectiveness), losing job after job and friend after friend, randomly phoning me in the middle of the work day or night to tell me how terrible and uncaring I am, etc etc etc. I could go on. In between all the drama you’d have a seemingly deeply caring, empathetic individual who’d make you feel as great as you could imagine. How could you want to throw that away? The reality of my situation (and possibly the OPs) is that afflicted individuals don’t have the capacity to provide the care and sympathy one needs from a relationship. After (frequent) fights I would have unconditional apologies demanded of me, and in return I’d get half-apologies, scapegoating, and blame-shifting (e.g. I’m sorry you’ve been such a prick to me and made me tell you I was going to kill you). After she stole my passwords and went through journals, documents, emails, and my myspace page while I was away, she demanded that I leave a key under the doormat for her so she could wait inside my place for a couple hours one day while I finished work. She expressed genuine surprise, then hostility and anger, when I told her I didn’t trust her and refused her request. Then told me I was a verbally abusive, terrible individual who needs professional help for their serious mental problems. She just had no understanding of my emotions or how her behavior and words affected me - but had learned over the years how to effectively fake it at times. As has been said above, the disorder _is_ the person. Anything that seems normal is the disorder adapting behavior to try and fit in and be normal. These aren’t conscious processes, but often felt like manipulative behavior patterns to entice and abuse those they are close with. I don’t feel that my ex will ever live a well-adjusted life (due to a general mistrust of therapy and anyone “professional”), but even with serious therapy the OPs ex/current boyfriend will probably at best learn to control their behavior and act normal, without solving the underlying developmental/emotional issues that manifest as Narcissism and BPD. On the plus side, the sex felt pretty great, and was frequent. ---
**Author:** ![beckwall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b487fb/32.png) [@beckwall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beckwall)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2009, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/narcissistic-and-borderline-personality-disorders/502164/56 "2009-07-08T19:05:02Z")
> [@Fuzzy\_Dunlop](#): > > Isn’t uglybeech’s point that they’re just words used to describe easily accessible human behavior and that as a lay person you’re better off relying on your months or years of observation than whether someone is essentially a\* clinically diagnosed\* weirdo or a _clinically diagnosed_ vulcan, as if the diagnosis would override what should have been observable from knowing a person intimately? Or did I miss the point. I thought the terms used just perpetuated the theory that mentally ill people are less than human. Believe me, the actual names of the personality disorders do mean something in the psychiatric community. And I don’t know of any psychiatrist who would call a patient a vulcan or thug. These are legitimate diseases and just because the patient may act out in an undesirable way does not mean they deserve less compassion or respect that other illnesses do. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2009, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/narcissistic-and-borderline-personality-disorders/502164/57 "2009-07-08T19:05:54Z")
> [@Ferret\_Herder](#): > > Since you still seem motivated even after these stories - if you’re going to stay with this guy, go with the advice of someone in the thread above - you two **must** reliably do “couples therapy” with a reliable therapist that both of you can agree on (preferably with a dialectical behavioral therapist that he must see for his BPD/NPD as well), and you should probably go to therapy on your own as well. None of this ‘a few sessions and then he says he doesn’t like the therapist so he stops’ stuff - find another therapist for the two of you, or another boyfriend. Yeah, DBT is what he is/was doing, I hear that’s the most promising method. > [@](#): > > And remember two things: > > - It’s in his best interest to make sure you stick around, because you’ve actually shown that you’re willing to come back after he drove you off - how many people in his life has he driven off and they haven’t returned? So he may make many promises that he’ll break as soon as he think it’s safe to do so. > - Just because the ‘good’ part of his personality is a nice guy, that doesn’t mean he’s the right guy for you. Very good points. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2009, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/narcissistic-and-borderline-personality-disorders/502164/58 "2009-07-08T19:25:15Z")
> [@Algorithm](#): > > On the plus side, the sex felt pretty great, and was frequent. I wish. I always got the “I can’t have sex with you when you…” excuses. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2009, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/narcissistic-and-borderline-personality-disorders/502164/59 "2009-07-08T20:18:40Z")
> [@CrazyCatLady](#): > > Well, there you go. His behavior–his new and _improved_ behavior, might I add–is bad enough that it would keep you from going out with someone. So why doesn’t it keep you from going out with _him_? What makes him so special and worthwhile that you will put up with behavior out of him that you would find totally unacceptable in anybody else? Be specific. What does he give you or do for you that makes you think you guys are otherwise great together? It’s not that I make an exception for him because he’s so special, it’s just harder to walk away when I’ve known him for so long. If I had known better when I was 21, I would have stayed away before it got to that point. And what I’m going to say, I really don’t mean that it is a good enough reason to keep seeing him. It shouldn’t be, but it’s what makes it hard for me to stay away from him. I can’t believe that he has NO emotional connection to other people. The biggest way I really feel like we connect is through physical affection (I don’t mean sex) and I just don’t think I’m imagining that. I have a hard time with certain kinds of intimacy and it usually seems contrived and unnatural to me, and that’s like the one thing I’m totally comfortable with. He’ll do little things like kiss me on the cheek when he thinks I’m asleep…granted, I guess he knows I COULD really be awake, but I have a hard time believing that’s all part of his elaborate manipulative plan. Since I am OVERLY sensitive to affection feeling forced, I don’t see how I can be this far off with him. There ARE times when I feel he’s just being manipulative with affection by trying to get me to say I love him or something, so it’s not even that I think every single thing he does is just so genuine. To accept that he’s a narcissist and will never be able to have a good relationship with anyone, do I really have to accept that he has NO empathy and NO desire for real emotional connections to other people? I know it’s not nearly as much as it should be, but does it really have to be NONE? ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2009, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/narcissistic-and-borderline-personality-disorders/502164/60 "2009-07-08T20:26:07Z")
> [@pepperlandgirl](#): > > Yeah, well, good luck with that. Sounds like true love to me :rolleyes: There’s quite a lot of middle ground between danger and true love. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/narcissistic-and-borderline-personality-disorders/502164.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/narcissistic-and-borderline-personality-disorders/502164.md?page=4)