# Nasty things that members of the opposite sex have said to you. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 14, 2007, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nasty-things-that-members-of-the-opposite-sex-have-said-to-you/422646 "2007-10-14T04:11:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2007, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nasty-things-that-members-of-the-opposite-sex-have-said-to-you/422646/121 "2007-10-18T14:00:48Z")
[QUOTE=chowder] I was about 15 or 16. Her: “I can’t go out with you anymore” Me: “Why?” Her: You’ve got hairy ears" I should have asked her to take a look at my arse…now that’s what I call hairy [/QUOTE] If that was when you were 15 or 16, I dread to speculate on the state of your ears now, dude. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2007, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nasty-things-that-members-of-the-opposite-sex-have-said-to-you/422646/122 "2007-10-18T15:04:18Z")
Well I didn’t have hairy ears at that tender age and I don’t have 'em now. My arse is an altogether different matter Personally I reckon she was a lesbian ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2007, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nasty-things-that-members-of-the-opposite-sex-have-said-to-you/422646/123 "2007-10-18T15:09:07Z")
[QUOTE=chowder] Personally I reckon she was a lesbian [/QUOTE] Yeah, if she didn’t want you, must be. :rolleyes: 😛 ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2007, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nasty-things-that-members-of-the-opposite-sex-have-said-to-you/422646/124 "2007-10-18T15:29:11Z")
[QUOTE=Sofaspud] “You look like a rapist.” Seriously, what the fuck? [/QUOTE] **olivesmarch4th** addressed the first part of your post, so I’ll address the second part. Yeah. Seriously. What the fuck? What does a rapist even look like? What was the context in which that was said? ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2007, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nasty-things-that-members-of-the-opposite-sex-have-said-to-you/422646/125 "2007-10-18T16:34:29Z")
[QUOTE=OneCentStamp] And all I have to say about that thread is, “Are **you** the **sheriff?** ” Still the funniest thread in the history of the SDMB. [/QUOTE] Is that a leg? ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2007, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nasty-things-that-members-of-the-opposite-sex-have-said-to-you/422646/126 "2007-10-18T16:43:47Z")
[QUOTE=Sofaspud] Well, I’ve heard my share of fat comments over the years, as have all to many others here, I’m sure. So I’ll skip those and go right to the WTF ones. I knew this girl who was smart, funny, liked hanging out with me, the whole bit. I screwed up the courage to ask her out and she said yes. Couple weeks later we’re making out for the first time, and she was the one who started it. It got to beyond making out, but not quite actual sex, and she jumped up, ran to the bathroom, and threw up. Puzzled and more than a little, um, cooled off by this, I knock and ask if she’s okay. She didn’t answer. I can hear her talking, though. I lean over and catch part of her conversation with a friend of hers, on her cell phone. I remember it clearly, to this day. “I got to thinking about what you and Becca and the rest would say if you knew I slept with him and it just made me sick, and he’s out there waiting, and oh god what do I do now?” What you do now, you crazy bitch, is come out and find me gone. That’s what you do. I didn’t hang out with any of them after that. [/quote] I want to rip this girl’s arms out of their sockets, then use them to beat her friends’ faces in. :mad: > [@Sofaspud](#): > > The other WTF comment that’s stuck in my mind is more confusing but less hurtful, somehow. Unfortunately, it’s been independently repeated by others who have no connection to the first, dammit. > > “You look like a rapist.” > > Seriously, what the fuck? Well, get rid of the scruffy beard and the tinted-windowed van full of rope and duct tape, and maybe people wouldn’t say that about you. Geez. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Sofaspud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8491ac/32.png) [@Sofaspud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofaspud)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2007, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nasty-things-that-members-of-the-opposite-sex-have-said-to-you/422646/127 "2007-10-18T17:38:00Z")
[QUOTE=tdn] **olivesmarch4th** addressed the first part of your post, so I’ll address the second part. Yeah. Seriously. What the fuck? What does a rapist even look like? What was the context in which that was said? [/QUOTE] Which time? :rolleyes: The first time I was told that was when I was in high school. I had just asked a girl out (a big occasion for me, as I tended to, um, _not do that_). She looked at me with a deer-in-the-headlights expression for a minute, then said, “I can’t go out with _you_! You look like a rapist!” And that was pretty much the extent of my high school dating career, right there. Luckily for me, I guess, she didn’t spread the story around. Second time was when I was going to visit a former coworker (a friend to this day) who had moved across the country and was back in town for a few days. He and I have been friends for years, but I was always clean-shaven. In the two years he’d been gone we’d stayed in touch but had never seen each other, and I’d grown a mustache and goatee. I keep it well trimmed, and a lot of people have said I look better with it. I certainly look a bit older, which was a good thing at the time (not so much, these days :)). At any rate, he opens the door and the very first words out of his mouth: “Dude! You look like a rapist!” He’d never heard the story about the high school incident, and as far as I know, doesn’t know the girl. The third time it happened was very similar to the first, except it was at a bar. I don’t do the bar scene much, but I was there and she was hot and we’d been flirting mildly all night and I figured, what the hell? Why not. So I asked if she wanted to go out for coffee sometime (I’m smooth, lemme tell ya). She hesitated, and then her friend (who had been mostly quiet but neutral all night) piped up. “She doesn’t want to go out with you. You look like a rapist.” The hot one just shrugged at me and her friend led her away to the pool tables while I stood there with a gape-mouthed blank look on my face. So. Apparently, I look like a rapist. Yay me. > [@OneCentStamp](#): > > Well, get rid of the scruffy beard and the tinted-windowed van full of rope and duct tape, and maybe people wouldn’t say that about you. Geez. Y’know, in high school – my senior year, at any rate – I could maybe see this. I drove a beat up Dodge van, with a wood-panel interior and deep-pile blue shag carpeting – with no seats! – in the back. IIRC the paint scheme was faded blue with several artistic splotches of primer, with a rust trim. And yes, I had an 8-track player _that worked_ in the damn thing, just because. It was part of the dash, with my CD player velcro’d to the dash above it. 🙂 So, if I’d been a senior at the time, I could’ve seen how the first incident might have come about. But at the time, I was a clean-cut junior who drove dad’s nice Ford Taurus, not the 70’s Babemobile (as my friends christened my van). And what little fuzz I managed to grow, wasn’t on my face. Heh. Next time the Doper picture thread springs to life again I’ll have to see about getting all your opinions. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2007, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nasty-things-that-members-of-the-opposite-sex-have-said-to-you/422646/128 "2007-10-18T17:46:03Z")
So 3 people have said you look like a rapist. Hmmm, 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Sofaspud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8491ac/32.png) [@Sofaspud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofaspud)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2007, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nasty-things-that-members-of-the-opposite-sex-have-said-to-you/422646/129 "2007-10-18T17:48:55Z")
[QUOTE=olivesmarch4th] That is reprehensible. Pretty awesome that you recognized them for the shitheads they were and got the hell out of that situation. I can’t imagine my sense of identity being so wrapped up in what my friends think about who I’m fucking that I would become physically ill just at the thought of disappointing them. That is really pathetic. You’re lucky you didn’t actually have to sleep with that bitch.\* \*‘‘bitch’’ is not a term I use lightly. Damn her to hell. [/QUOTE] Thanks. For what it’s worth, I probably took the coward’s way out on that one. At the very least I should’ve had the guts to challenge her about it. I don’t know if I could have, though. There I was, naked as a jaybird, trying to figure out what was going on – was it the shrimp at dinner? I knew we should’ve gone somewhere else instead! – and then, bam. Even though she wasn’t talking to me, that’s about the worst blow to the gut I’ve ever taken. So, I chickened out and left. I take some small comfort in the fact that she never tried to contact me after that night, so my instincts about leaving were probably correct. I still feel like it’s unfinished, though. Just, grr. I really liked her. A lot. ---
**Author:** ![Sofaspud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8491ac/32.png) [@Sofaspud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sofaspud)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2007, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nasty-things-that-members-of-the-opposite-sex-have-said-to-you/422646/130 "2007-10-18T17:59:08Z")
[QUOTE=chowder] So 3 people have said you look like a rapist. Hmmm, 😛 [/QUOTE] Is it the stringy, unkempt hair, you think? Or maybe the lazy, bloodshot eyes and the maniacal laughter. Oh, I know! I should stop waving the knife around! Dammit, I _knew_ there was something I was doing wrong! (I laugh about it, but it’s still confusing. _I_ don’t think I look like a rapist…:() ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2007, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nasty-things-that-members-of-the-opposite-sex-have-said-to-you/422646/131 "2007-10-18T18:05:22Z")
**Sofaspud** , what on earth _do_ you look like? We have got to see a picture now. ---
**Author:** ![Telperien](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@Telperien](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telperien)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2007, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nasty-things-that-members-of-the-opposite-sex-have-said-to-you/422646/132 "2007-10-18T18:09:48Z")
[QUOTE=Sofaspud] So, I chickened out and left. I take some small comfort in the fact that she never tried to contact me after that night, so my instincts about leaving were probably correct. I still feel like it’s unfinished, though. [/QUOTE] Maybe I’m missing something, but in what way did you take the coward’s way out? What could you have said to her? Nothing would have made it any better, and had you gone off on her angrily, all that would have done was justify (in her mind) rejecting you. It looks to me like you did the only reasonable thing you could have done. ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2007, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nasty-things-that-members-of-the-opposite-sex-have-said-to-you/422646/133 "2007-10-18T18:54:42Z")
[QUOTE=Anaamika] **Sofaspud** , what on earth _do_ you look like? We have got to see a picture now. [/QUOTE] Well obviously he looks like a rapist 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2007, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nasty-things-that-members-of-the-opposite-sex-have-said-to-you/422646/134 "2007-10-18T19:07:30Z")
[QUOTE=Sofaspud] Thanks. For what it’s worth, I probably took the coward’s way out on that one. At the very least I should’ve had the guts to challenge her about it. I don’t know if I could have, though. There I was, naked as a jaybird, trying to figure out what was going on – was it the shrimp at dinner? I knew we should’ve gone somewhere else instead! – and then, bam. Even though she wasn’t talking to me, that’s about the worst blow to the gut I’ve ever taken. So, I chickened out and left. I take some small comfort in the fact that she never tried to contact me after that night, so my instincts about leaving were probably correct. I still feel like it’s unfinished, though. Just, grr. I really liked her. A lot. [/QUOTE] Yeah, that bites. Even so, you dodged a biiiiiig phucking bullet, IMO. And like **Telperien** said, it’s doubtful you could have done more than justify her decision to herself. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2007, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nasty-things-that-members-of-the-opposite-sex-have-said-to-you/422646/135 "2007-10-18T19:29:58Z")
[QUOTE=Telperien] It looks to me like you did the only reasonable thing you could have done. [/QUOTE] I agree. If anything, she ended up thinking you’d stood her up. Or feeling like an asshole if she clued in to the fact that you’d heard her. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2007, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nasty-things-that-members-of-the-opposite-sex-have-said-to-you/422646/136 "2007-10-18T19:59:05Z")
[QUOTE=Anaamika] **Sofaspud** , what on earth _do_ you look like? We have got to see a picture now. [/QUOTE] [Take your pick](http://images.google.com/images?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rls=GGLG,GGLG:2005-34,GGLG:en&q=rapist&um=1&sa=N&tab=wi). ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2007, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nasty-things-that-members-of-the-opposite-sex-have-said-to-you/422646/137 "2007-10-18T20:00:35Z")
A **Cervaise** link. Give me a place to hide, for I know I will be frightened. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2007, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nasty-things-that-members-of-the-opposite-sex-have-said-to-you/422646/138 "2007-10-18T20:01:21Z")
[QUOTE=Cervaise] [Take your pick](http://images.google.com/images?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rls=GGLG,GGLG:2005-34,GGLG:en&q=rapist&um=1&sa=N&tab=wi). [/QUOTE] Oh, gaddammit, why did I look? Now Mr. Hairychest Swirlyface is burned back into my retinas for another day. ☹ :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Sean\_Factotum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Sean\_Factotum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sean_Factotum)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2007, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nasty-things-that-members-of-the-opposite-sex-have-said-to-you/422646/139 "2007-10-18T20:03:54Z")
“You should go talk to someone. Everybody can use a little therapy.” This from the girl that was near suicidal when we first started dating. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2007, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nasty-things-that-members-of-the-opposite-sex-have-said-to-you/422646/140 "2007-10-18T20:04:17Z")
[QUOTE=Cervaise] [Take your pick](http://images.google.com/images?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rls=GGLG,GGLG:2005-34,GGLG:en&q=rapist&um=1&sa=N&tab=wi). [/QUOTE] I’ll take Therapists for $200, Alex. **SofaSpud** , by any chance during those three times, were you wearing a ski mask, and wielding a knife? Was your penis hanging out? Because that I could definitely see. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nasty-things-that-members-of-the-opposite-sex-have-said-to-you/422646.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nasty-things-that-members-of-the-opposite-sex-have-said-to-you/422646.md?page=8)