# National Masturbation Month **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 8, 2007, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/national-masturbation-month/403306 "2007-05-08T21:44:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Sock\_of\_Doom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/71c47a/32.png) [@Sock\_of\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sock_of_Doom)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2007, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/national-masturbation-month/403306/1 "2007-05-08T21:44:04Z")
May has been designated [National Masturbation Month](http://www.comeasyouare.com/masturbate/). Why is this not in my calendar? Better yet, why did no one inform me of this years ago when the “holiday” started? Apparently, the holiday was started by Good Vibrations, a lovely company out of San Francisco. Although I’m sure it’s partly advertising, kudos to them. Make sure to take _extra_ good care of yourself this month. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2007, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/national-masturbation-month/403306/2 "2007-05-08T21:46:00Z")
[QUOTE=Synthetically Organic] And there was supposed to be a “kick off celebration” on the 7th. [/QUOTE] Are you sure it was _kick_ off? ---
**Author:** ![Your\_Ad\_Here](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/b2d939/32.png) [@Your\_Ad\_Here](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Your_Ad_Here)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2007, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/national-masturbation-month/403306/3 "2007-05-08T21:53:05Z")
[QUOTE=Synthetically Organic] Better yet, why did no one inform me of this years ago when the “holiday” started? [/QUOTE] I’d imagine it takes a littel while to type an invitation one handed. Then, once June rolled around, he probably rolled over and took a nap. ---
**Author:** ![Sock\_of\_Doom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/71c47a/32.png) [@Sock\_of\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sock_of_Doom)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2007, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/national-masturbation-month/403306/4 "2007-05-08T21:53:15Z")
[QUOTE=OneCentStamp] Are you sure it was _kick_ off? [/QUOTE] True, true. Sorry I took that line out on edit–I wasn’t sure if that was an “official” event. Although what constitutes and “official event…” The confirmed official event, I’d guess, is the “finale,” so to speak. The masturbate-a-thon. (www. [masturbate-a-thon.com](http://masturbate-a-thon.com) [most DEFINITELY NSFW]) ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2007, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/national-masturbation-month/403306/5 "2007-05-08T21:55:52Z")
Give 'til it hurts. ---
**Author:** ![vetbridge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5e925/32.png) [@vetbridge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vetbridge)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2007, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/national-masturbation-month/403306/6 "2007-05-08T21:56:40Z")
DAMN!! I thought it was April. ---
**Author:** ![Mouse\_Maven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@Mouse\_Maven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mouse_Maven)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2007, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/national-masturbation-month/403306/7 "2007-05-08T21:57:47Z")
My new vibrator arrived just in time! 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![SSG\_Schwartz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SSG\_Schwartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSG_Schwartz)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2007, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/national-masturbation-month/403306/8 "2007-05-08T22:03:01Z")
Those appointed Master of their domain need not apply. :smack: Damn, I got nothing. Sgt Schwartz ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2007, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/national-masturbation-month/403306/9 "2007-05-08T22:15:30Z")
I find this very hard to believe. Are you sure you’re not jerking us around? ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2007, 12:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/national-masturbation-month/403306/10 "2007-05-09T00:00:06Z")
[QUOTE=RealityChuck] I find this very hard to believe. Are you sure you’re not jerking us around? [/QUOTE] Well, this guy is always shooting his, ahhh, mouth off. But to make him feel better, I’ll go along and participate. ---
**Author:** ![Full\_Metal\_Lotus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/df705f/32.png) [@Full\_Metal\_Lotus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Full_Metal_Lotus)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2007, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/national-masturbation-month/403306/11 "2007-05-09T00:37:37Z")
For those of you with a religious back ground, we will be meeting for a prayer circle jerk, in recognition of this important celebration! Grin FML ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2007, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/national-masturbation-month/403306/12 "2007-05-09T00:37:56Z")
**May has been designated National Masturbation Month.** The whole month? There’s going to be a lot of chafing come June. ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2007, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/national-masturbation-month/403306/13 "2007-05-09T01:09:28Z")
Mother’s Day is going to be _really_ awkward this year. ---
**Author:** ![Sock\_of\_Doom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/71c47a/32.png) [@Sock\_of\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sock_of_Doom)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2007, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/national-masturbation-month/403306/14 "2007-05-09T01:46:07Z")
[QUOTE=BayleDomon] Mother’s Day is going to be _really_ awkward this year. [/QUOTE] Makes getting a gift easy: plenty of batteries! _shudder_ I’ll go sit in a corner, hug my knees, and spend the night rocking back and forth now. ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2007, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/national-masturbation-month/403306/15 "2007-05-09T01:57:21Z")
I’ll just say that it’s coincidence: my birthday is in May. Woo! I’m reading this thread like a motherfuck! ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2007, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/national-masturbation-month/403306/16 "2007-05-09T02:00:19Z")
The website keeps timing out for me. Sad ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2007, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/national-masturbation-month/403306/17 "2007-05-09T02:18:19Z")
[QUOTE=DiosaBellissima] The website keeps timing out for me. Sad ☹ [/QUOTE] “Website”? Is that what you’re calling it these days? ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2007, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/national-masturbation-month/403306/18 "2007-05-09T02:30:12Z")
Well, I wasn’t planning to masturbate this month, but now I guess I will! ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2007, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/national-masturbation-month/403306/19 "2007-05-09T02:32:50Z")
There’s a reason this is coinciding with [National Nurse Appreciation Week](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=419845). ---
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2007, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/national-masturbation-month/403306/20 "2007-05-09T02:35:01Z")
Shoot, I’m 11 months ahead of you slackers. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/national-masturbation-month/403306.md?page=2)