# National shortage of sperm in Scotland! What can we do to help? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 15, 2004, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/national-shortage-of-sperm-in-scotland-what-can-we-do-to-help/240195 "2004-04-15T17:33:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2004, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/national-shortage-of-sperm-in-scotland-what-can-we-do-to-help/240195/1 "2004-04-15T17:33:38Z")
[Sperm imported to meet shortage - Experts treating infertility at a Scottish hospital have offered patients sperm imported from England because of a national shortage.](http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/2932361.stm) ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2004, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/national-shortage-of-sperm-in-scotland-what-can-we-do-to-help/240195/2 "2004-04-15T18:08:47Z")
It’s those damn kilts! I _told_ them all that cold air up their whoops-a-dillys would come to naught! But would _they_ listen? **NOOOOOO!** ---
**Author:** ![nocturnal\_tick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@nocturnal\_tick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nocturnal_tick)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2004, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/national-shortage-of-sperm-in-scotland-what-can-we-do-to-help/240195/3 "2004-04-15T18:18:08Z")
Well there is the stereotype of Scotsmen being tight-fisted. Not that _I_ believe it course… 😛 It’s the kilts like **Bosda** said. ---
**Author:** ![ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ZombiesAteMyBrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZombiesAteMyBrain)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2004, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/national-shortage-of-sperm-in-scotland-what-can-we-do-to-help/240195/4 "2004-04-16T11:43:43Z")
> [@astro](#): > > [Sperm imported to meet shortage - Experts treating infertility at a Scottish hospital have offered patients sperm imported from England because of a national shortage.](http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/2932361.stm) Makes sense, really - England is over-supplied with wankers - just look at our Government, for goodness sake!! Mind you, the Scots might be artificially creating a market shortage so that they can push the price up - no chance of them using it for fish food 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2004, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/national-shortage-of-sperm-in-scotland-what-can-we-do-to-help/240195/5 "2004-04-16T11:51:34Z")
\>\>What can we do to help? Beats me. ---
**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2004, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/national-shortage-of-sperm-in-scotland-what-can-we-do-to-help/240195/6 "2004-04-16T12:57:13Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > \>\>What can we do to help? > Beats me. _snickers_ ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2004, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/national-shortage-of-sperm-in-scotland-what-can-we-do-to-help/240195/7 "2004-04-16T14:07:05Z")
There’s a similar shortage in Belgium. I know because a friend of mine want to be fertiilized, and can’t do so in France (only couple, perhaps even married ones are allowed to do so under french law), hence she’s going to Belgium. And Belgium being one of the rare european countries allowing it receives plenty of would-be mothers and there’s a shortage of sperm. They import it from other countries, and for some reason I can’t fathom, especially from Denmark. ---
**Author:** ![smiling\_bandit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@smiling\_bandit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smiling_bandit)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2004, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/national-shortage-of-sperm-in-scotland-what-can-we-do-to-help/240195/8 "2004-04-16T14:11:29Z")
De Anglish our tryin to get Prima Noctis agin! [The English are trying to get Prima Noctis again!] :eek: 😃 “If we can’t drive them out… we’ll breed them out.” ---
**Author:** ![Celyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@Celyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Celyn)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2004, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/national-shortage-of-sperm-in-scotland-what-can-we-do-to-help/240195/9 "2004-04-16T14:26:57Z")
Aaarrgghh! On second thoughts, how funny - I’d have thought there were enough wankers in Edinburgh - in Holyrood anyway. \ ---
**Author:** ![Kid\_A\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Kid\_A\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kid_A_1)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2004, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/national-shortage-of-sperm-in-scotland-what-can-we-do-to-help/240195/10 "2004-04-16T14:56:32Z")
How about > **[IF someone were to open a sperm bank where the "nurses" PARTICIPATED....](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=251260)** > > in the “contribution” would it be considered prostitution? They wouldn’t have to be RN’s, maybe just CNA’s. One could raise procedural arguments that such “participation” improved the efficiency, and accuracy of the collection procedure. ... 😃 ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2004, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/national-shortage-of-sperm-in-scotland-what-can-we-do-to-help/240195/11 "2004-04-16T15:16:36Z")
About all that missing sperm…has anybody checked the sheep? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2004, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/national-shortage-of-sperm-in-scotland-what-can-we-do-to-help/240195/12 "2004-04-16T15:52:15Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > \>\>What can we do to help? > Beats me. Maybe I can lend a hand. Yeah, I know it was lame, and it did take me three hours to think of this comment. Thank goodness its Friday:) ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2004, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/national-shortage-of-sperm-in-scotland-what-can-we-do-to-help/240195/13 "2004-04-16T16:55:44Z")
Okay, first, get a grip. It’s just a stroke of bad luck in Scotland. I’m sure the authorities will soon have the matter well in hand. ---
**Author:** ![Celyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@Celyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Celyn)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2004, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/national-shortage-of-sperm-in-scotland-what-can-we-do-to-help/240195/14 "2004-04-16T17:14:27Z")
Hehehe **Casey**. Well, as has been suggested, by **Zombie** and myself\*\* I think, the authorities are a veritable shower of tossers. Of course, in terms of recent current affairs, (if that is not too much of an oxymoron), they don?t tend to get on very well with the seamen. Dunno how they feel about Roger the Cabin Boy, though. (Yes, OK, 'tis urban legend, I know) \ ---
**Author:** ![Uvula\_Donor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e19adc/32.png) [@Uvula\_Donor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uvula_Donor)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2004, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/national-shortage-of-sperm-in-scotland-what-can-we-do-to-help/240195/15 "2004-04-16T17:21:20Z")
I just love coming across threads like this. ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2004, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/national-shortage-of-sperm-in-scotland-what-can-we-do-to-help/240195/16 "2004-04-16T19:02:03Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > About all that missing sperm…has anybody checked the sheep? “Hey, McLeod! Get off of my ewe!” ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2004, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/national-shortage-of-sperm-in-scotland-what-can-we-do-to-help/240195/17 "2004-04-17T02:28:54Z")
> [@misstee](#): > > Maybe I can lend a hand. Hold on tight. I think something may be coming up. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2004, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/national-shortage-of-sperm-in-scotland-what-can-we-do-to-help/240195/18 "2004-04-17T04:33:13Z")
Someone kidnap Ewan McGregor and take him to the sperm bank, post haste! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Great\_Zamboni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@The\_Great\_Zamboni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Great_Zamboni)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2004, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/national-shortage-of-sperm-in-scotland-what-can-we-do-to-help/240195/19 "2004-04-17T04:39:56Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > Hold on tight. I think something may be coming up. I’m behind you both. ---
**Author:** ![misstee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/958977/32.png) [@misstee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misstee)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2004, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/national-shortage-of-sperm-in-scotland-what-can-we-do-to-help/240195/20 "2004-04-17T04:51:15Z")
> [@The Great Zamboni](#): > > I’m behind you both. well, shoot. 😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/national-shortage-of-sperm-in-scotland-what-can-we-do-to-help/240195.md?page=2)