# National shortage of sperm in Scotland! What can we do to help? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 15, 2004, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/national-shortage-of-sperm-in-scotland-what-can-we-do-to-help/240195 "2004-04-15T17:33:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Tentacle\_Monster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba9def/32.png) [@Tentacle\_Monster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tentacle_Monster)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2004, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/national-shortage-of-sperm-in-scotland-what-can-we-do-to-help/240195/21 "2004-04-17T05:30:40Z")
It’s all because Sean Connery’s getting old, isn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2004, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/national-shortage-of-sperm-in-scotland-what-can-we-do-to-help/240195/22 "2004-04-17T14:19:03Z")
[Sean Connery] I’ll take **The Penis Mightier** for $100, Alex. [/SC] ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2004, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/national-shortage-of-sperm-in-scotland-what-can-we-do-to-help/240195/23 "2004-04-17T18:16:29Z")
> [@astro](#): > > [Sperm imported to meet shortage - Experts treating infertility at a Scottish hospital have offered patients sperm imported from England because of a national shortage.](http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/scotland/2932361.stm) Yeah, but are they importing _Scottish_ sperm from England? No shortage of Scottish sperm in England. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Rayne\_Man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/df705f/32.png) [@Rayne\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rayne_Man)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2004, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/national-shortage-of-sperm-in-scotland-what-can-we-do-to-help/240195/24 "2004-04-17T18:21:46Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > About all that missing sperm…has anybody checked the sheep? > 😃 That is why they are not asking for any sperm from Wales ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2004, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/national-shortage-of-sperm-in-scotland-what-can-we-do-to-help/240195/25 "2004-04-17T18:30:21Z")
What about sperm whales? ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2004, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/national-shortage-of-sperm-in-scotland-what-can-we-do-to-help/240195/26 "2004-04-17T18:31:42Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > What about sperm whales? Yeah, but are they Scottish sperm whales? Besides, Wales probably has even more of a crisis. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2004, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/national-shortage-of-sperm-in-scotland-what-can-we-do-to-help/240195/27 "2004-04-17T18:35:34Z")
> [@Angua](#): > > Yeah, but are they Scottish sperm whales? Well… I can barely understand them when they talk. ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2004, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/national-shortage-of-sperm-in-scotland-what-can-we-do-to-help/240195/28 "2004-04-17T18:49:42Z")
> [@NoClueBoy](#): > > Well… I can barely understand them when they talk. That’s hardly a defining Scottish characteristic. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![agiantdwarf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8c91f0/32.png) [@agiantdwarf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/agiantdwarf)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2004, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/national-shortage-of-sperm-in-scotland-what-can-we-do-to-help/240195/29 "2004-04-17T18:52:14Z")
We should all donate to seed a recovery. ---
**Author:** ![Ale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Ale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ale)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2004, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/national-shortage-of-sperm-in-scotland-what-can-we-do-to-help/240195/30 "2004-04-17T19:04:51Z")
I´ve heard the shortage of sperm is caused by a refusal of the customs agents to take a load. ---
**Author:** ![Rune](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e68b1a/32.png) [@Rune](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rune)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2004, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/national-shortage-of-sperm-in-scotland-what-can-we-do-to-help/240195/31 "2004-04-17T19:58:45Z")
No wonder the English are quick to give the Scots a helping hand; they’ve always been a bunch of wankers. ---
**Author:** ![htns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ba8739/32.png) [@htns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/htns)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2004, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/national-shortage-of-sperm-in-scotland-what-can-we-do-to-help/240195/32 "2004-04-17T20:24:52Z")
Gives a new meaning to “shooting off at the mouth”, uh? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Angua](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8baadc/32.png) [@Angua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angua)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2004, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/national-shortage-of-sperm-in-scotland-what-can-we-do-to-help/240195/33 "2004-04-17T20:26:32Z")
> [@htns](#): > > Gives a new meaning to “shooting off at the mouth”, uh? 😉 Well, surely that just depends on the methods of sperm collection being used? 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/national-shortage-of-sperm-in-scotland-what-can-we-do-to-help/240195.md?page=1)