# Neal Horsley had sex with a mule?! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 10, 2005, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neal-horsley-had-sex-with-a-mule/303258 "2005-05-10T18:04:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neal-horsley-had-sex-with-a-mule/303258/61 "2005-05-11T13:20:43Z")
> **[FOX News Radio](https://radio.foxnews.com/)** > > Just say: "Alexa, play the news from FOX." Just to be sure we’re all on the same page, here’s the actual cite. ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neal-horsley-had-sex-with-a-mule/303258/62 "2005-05-11T13:55:25Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > I thought he was praising the other Georgia, the one in the Caucasus. Oh, like _those_ Georgians never fucked a mule. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neal-horsley-had-sex-with-a-mule/303258/63 "2005-05-11T14:02:54Z")
When we had no mules, we fucked fowl. When we had no fowl, we fucked crawdads. When we had not crawdads, we fucked sand. You fucked sand? We fucked sand. \*Do the best you can, with what you have, where you are. \* – Winston Churchill “I can’t prove he is a pig fucker, but I can sure as hell make the son-of-a-bitch deny it.” LBJ ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neal-horsley-had-sex-with-a-mule/303258/64 "2005-05-11T14:22:56Z")
> [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > What;s the strangest place you ever made whoopie? > > That would be in the ass, Bob. It’s half-assed. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neal-horsley-had-sex-with-a-mule/303258/65 "2005-05-11T14:26:24Z")
> [@EddyTeddyFreddy](#): > > :dubious: > > So just how tall is this guy, anyway? I mean, if he was getting it on with mules like [these](http://www.ruralheritage.com/mule_paddock/belgian_sorrelb.jpg) he’d need to stand on a stepladder unless he’s something like eight feet tall. > > :eek: You’ve never heard the rooster song, have you? \*We had a chicken, no eggs would it lay We had a chicken, no eggs would it lay One day that rooster Crept into our yard And caught that chicken Right off of her guard She’s laying eggs now Just like she use-ter Ever since that rooster Crept into our yard … We had a milk cow, no milk would she give…\* ---
**Author:** ![esquimalt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/4af34b/32.png) [@esquimalt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/esquimalt)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neal-horsley-had-sex-with-a-mule/303258/66 "2005-05-11T14:31:54Z")
And you guys thought Fox was good for nothing. Fair, balanced & beastial. ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neal-horsley-had-sex-with-a-mule/303258/67 "2005-05-11T14:45:09Z")
> [@EddyTeddyFreddy](#): > > if he was getting it on with mules like [these](http://www.ruralheritage.com/mule_paddock/belgian_sorrelb.jpg) he’d need to stand on a stepladder unless he’s something like eight feet tall. You don’t use a stepladder silly. Look at the picture again. You see those handles on the yoke?.. ---
**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neal-horsley-had-sex-with-a-mule/303258/68 "2005-05-11T15:28:11Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > “Dawn” you dumb fuck. It’s just “dawn” you get up at the crack of. “I’m so goddamn horny, the crack of dawn better be careful around me.” - Tom Waits ---
**Author:** ![leroy\_the\_mule](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6a8cbe/32.png) [@leroy\_the\_mule](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leroy_the_mule)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neal-horsley-had-sex-with-a-mule/303258/69 "2005-05-11T16:47:49Z")
(not about me–I only heard this from “a friend”) There was an old hustler named Neal, Possessed of a rod made from steel. He stood on a stool To bugger a mule, And got kicked in the balls til he squealed. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neal-horsley-had-sex-with-a-mule/303258/70 "2005-05-11T19:33:41Z")
So **leroy** , how you doin’? My buddy Neal says you’re kinda, you know, accomodating. I got this big ole lump of sugar and a carrot you just wouldn’t believe… ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neal-horsley-had-sex-with-a-mule/303258/71 "2005-05-11T20:11:42Z")
I’m trying to get a sense of what kind of a mindset would consider “I fucked your steak” to be bragging… and I just can’t get there. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2005, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neal-horsley-had-sex-with-a-mule/303258/72 "2005-05-11T20:33:14Z")
I guess Georgia must have a whole different meaning for the acronym, MILF. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neal-horsley-had-sex-with-a-mule/303258/73 "2005-05-12T14:29:47Z")
This thread is Very Bad for reading at work. How to explain to confused coworkers why I’m sobbing at my desk? ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neal-horsley-had-sex-with-a-mule/303258/74 "2005-05-12T17:29:40Z")
John Denver: “Thank God I’m a country boy!” Neal Horsley: “You said it, bro!” ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neal-horsley-had-sex-with-a-mule/303258/75 "2005-05-12T17:57:28Z")
> [@Larry Mudd](#): > > This reminds me of the twelve-steppers’ “degradation contest” that William Burroughs denigrated in _Naked Lunch_:It’s a common syndrome. The worse the sin, the more value the repentance has. Exaggerate the sin, and increase the value of your salvation. > > Of _course_ farm-boys fuck animals. That emphasizes how badly they need the light of Jesus. > > To suggest that people don’t naturally lust after everything that is potentially fuckable somehow devalues religion, in this twisted way of thinking. No offense, Larry Mudd, but my husband was in the service with a southern guy who told EVERYONE that **he used to fuck mud**. All the time. And all this time I thought men were visual. ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neal-horsley-had-sex-with-a-mule/303258/76 "2005-05-12T18:04:12Z")
> [@Kalhoun](#): > > No offense, Larry Mudd, but my husband was in the service with a southern guy who told EVERYONE that **he used to fuck mud**. All the time. And all this time I thought men were visual. Oh, well, if he was “a southern guy,” say no more. ---
**Author:** ![Boarder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ba9def/32.png) [@Boarder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boarder)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neal-horsley-had-sex-with-a-mule/303258/77 "2005-05-12T18:15:23Z")
So, if Mr. Horsley had been married at the time he knew the mule, would it have been a menagerie a trois? ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neal-horsley-had-sex-with-a-mule/303258/78 "2005-05-12T18:37:16Z")
> [@spoke-](#): > > Oh, well, if he was “a southern guy,” say no more. ??? ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neal-horsley-had-sex-with-a-mule/303258/79 "2005-05-12T19:16:22Z")
> [@Kalhoun](#): > > No offense, Larry Mudd, but my husband was in the service with a southern guy who told EVERYONE that **he used to fuck mud**. All the time. Ha! I’ve read that the term “corn-holing” refers back to the agrarian practice of using an ear of corn to make an accomodating hole in some squishy earth for humping purposes. Of course, I read it in _National Lampoon_, so you might not want to take it as gospel. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neal-horsley-had-sex-with-a-mule/303258/80 "2005-05-12T19:17:57Z")
> [@Larry Mudd](#): > > Ha! I’ve read that the term “corn-holing” refers back to the agrarian practice of using an ear of corn to make an accomodating hole in some squishy earth for humping purposes. > > Of course, I read it in _National Lampoon_, so you might not want to take it as gospel. 😃 That must be it. Good to know…I guess. I’ve always thought that was the purpose of this smiley —\> :o [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neal-horsley-had-sex-with-a-mule/303258.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neal-horsley-had-sex-with-a-mule/303258.md?page=5)