Nearly as heinous crime as an alibi for murder?

[The_Other_Waldo_Pepper]

To quote me from another thread,

@The_Other_Waldo_Pepper

There’s a story – THE JAILHOUSE LAWYER, by Phillip Margolin – where the defendant doesn’t commit perjury the first time; he just plays the Angry Black Man who gets warned about contempt and sneers that “I got no respect fo’ a honkey pig” while on trial for reckless driving in Oregon.

So he acts as his own lawyer (and, yes, the ‘fool for a client’ quote comes up; and, yes, he predictably fails to object to inadmissible testimony) sure as he doesn’t bother to take the stand while unconvincingly maintaining his innocence throughout; he thus later proves he wasn’t simultaneously murdering someone in New Jersey, since, hey, that was the judge’s authoritative verdict back when a cop swore to it on the stand, right?

(Why didn’t the defendant request a jury? “One pig or six fascist sheep, it don’t make no difference.”)