# Nearly as heinous crime as an alibi for murder?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nearly-as-heinous-crime-as-an-alibi-for-murder/776032>\
**Category:** Cafe Society\
**Created:** [January 1, 2017, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nearly-as-heinous-crime-as-an-alibi-for-murder/776032 "2017-01-01T06:56:05Z")\
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**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\
**Post date:** [January 2, 2017, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nearly-as-heinous-crime-as-an-alibi-for-murder/776032/8 "2017-01-02T00:29:04Z")

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To quote me from another thread,

> [@Double Jeopardy question](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/double-jeopardy-question/638378/23):
>
> There’s a story – THE JAILHOUSE LAWYER, by Phillip Margolin – where the defendant **doesn’t** commit perjury the first time; he just plays the Angry Black Man who gets warned about contempt and sneers that _“I got no respect fo’ a honkey pig”_ while on trial for reckless driving in Oregon.
> 
> So he acts as his own lawyer (and, yes, the ‘fool for a client’ quote comes up; and, yes, he predictably fails to object to inadmissible testimony) sure as he doesn’t bother to take the stand while unconvincingly maintaining his innocence throughout; he thus later proves he wasn’t simultaneously murdering someone in New Jersey, since, hey, that was the judge’s authoritative verdict back when a cop swore to it on the stand, right?
> 
> (Why didn’t the defendant request a jury? _“One pig or six fascist sheep, it don’t make no difference.”_)

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