# Nebbish saves your life in exchange for promise of future sex. Do yu pay up? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 21, 2016, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nebbish-saves-your-life-in-exchange-for-promise-of-future-sex-do-yu-pay-up/760514 "2016-07-21T19:03:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2016, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nebbish-saves-your-life-in-exchange-for-promise-of-future-sex-do-yu-pay-up/760514/121 "2016-07-22T20:35:28Z")
I would say fuck you and hope I didn’t need his help again. Only a real piece of shit would make an offer like that and he certainly would have no integrity. ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2016, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nebbish-saves-your-life-in-exchange-for-promise-of-future-sex-do-yu-pay-up/760514/122 "2016-07-22T20:41:24Z")
When I was a young mechanic it was not uncommon to be offered sex for work on a ladies car. They didn’t offer as much when I got older. I accepted the offer a few times but never pressed them to pay up. Only once that I can think of did a girl come by at closing time specifically to pay up. We had already been flirting with each other for awhile anyway so it wasn’t really awkward. I always felt sorry for young single mothers so really didn’t mind doing them a favor anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2016, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nebbish-saves-your-life-in-exchange-for-promise-of-future-sex-do-yu-pay-up/760514/123 "2016-07-22T21:00:33Z")
> [@HoneyBadgerDC](#): > > When I was a young mechanic it was not uncommon to be offered sex for work on a ladies car. They didn’t offer as much when I got older. I accepted the offer a few times but never pressed them to pay up. Only once that I can think of did a girl come by at closing time specifically to pay up. We had already been flirting with each other for awhile anyway so it wasn’t really awkward. > I always felt sorry for young single mothers so really didn’t mind doing them a favor anyway. Would you say she was sleeping with you to get a discount, or that she wanted to sleep with you anyway and the discount was simply a bonus? ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Lowry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Sam\_Lowry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Lowry)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2016, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nebbish-saves-your-life-in-exchange-for-promise-of-future-sex-do-yu-pay-up/760514/124 "2016-07-22T21:14:51Z")
> [@Eonwe](#): > > No way. Threatening to let me die if I don’t have sex with her is a pretty unqualified evil action. I am grateful for having been saved, but I view Sean as ignoble and officially a “bad person” from here on out. > > Ironically, had she not held the power of life and death over me and chosen to extort a promise of sex, I might have been open to a date and/or some action after the fact. As it is, I’m pretty disgusted by her. I’m as liable to keep my promise to her as I am a promise to a criminal with a gun to my head. This is basically what I thought. If Sean saves me, and I’m later saying I’m so grateful and don’t know how I can thank him, and he says “I know of a way” with a nudge and a wink, I’d probably be up for it. But the extortion in this scenario creeps me out too much. Even if I really did mean to follow through on it, I’d probably go back to his place and just get too grossed out and leave before anything happened. > [@RivkahChaya](#): > > Regarding the OP: promising sex is different from promising to pay medical bills, because, issues of duress aside, you cannot contract for sex. No one can force you to have sex based on goods or services delivered, but you can collect money promised for goods or services. You also cannot force someone to have sex based on a prior consent. If I say I will have sex with you tomorrow night, and for whatever reason, I change my mind, you cannot insist that I promised, and I owe you. You can get it in writing, and it makes no difference, because you cannot contract for sex. I agree. Men believing they are owed sex from women is not exactly unheard of in the real world, like because the guy bought dinner, or it’s been three dates, or they’re married. In this case the guarantee of sex is just more explicit. In any of those cases, the woman has the moral and ethical right to turn down or stop the sex at any point. And of course it’s the same with whatever combination of genders. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2016, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nebbish-saves-your-life-in-exchange-for-promise-of-future-sex-do-yu-pay-up/760514/125 "2016-07-22T21:16:25Z")
> [@HoneyBadgerDC](#): > > When I was a young mechanic it was not uncommon to be offered sex for work on a ladies car. They didn’t offer as much when I got older. I accepted the offer a few times but never pressed them to pay up. Only once that I can think of did a girl come by at closing time specifically to pay up. We had already been flirting with each other for awhile anyway so it wasn’t really awkward. > I always felt sorry for young single mothers so really didn’t mind doing them a favor anyway. Are you sure this was your life, and not a Levi’s ad with a shirtless hunk of a mechanic in tight fitting jeans? ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2016, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nebbish-saves-your-life-in-exchange-for-promise-of-future-sex-do-yu-pay-up/760514/126 "2016-07-22T21:20:52Z")
> [@HoneyBadgerDC](#): > > When I was a young mechanic it was not uncommon to be offered sex for work on a ladies car. They didn’t offer as much when I got older. I accepted the offer a few times but never pressed them to pay up. Only once that I can think of did a girl come by at closing time specifically to pay up. We had already been flirting with each other for awhile anyway so it wasn’t really awkward. > I always felt sorry for young single mothers so really didn’t mind doing them a favor anyway. The only time I was offered sex for services the woman looked like that was how she took care of all her debts, and she was visiting me at the end of a loooong day paying bills. I politely explained the different credit cards we accepted. She decided to take her business elsewhere. I guess it’s “a thing”. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2016, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nebbish-saves-your-life-in-exchange-for-promise-of-future-sex-do-yu-pay-up/760514/127 "2016-07-23T00:09:47Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > . . . stinkard isn’t acceptable in mixed company. It’s no more than a variant spelling of “stinker.” I’ve been using it for years on the SDMB, and no one has complained before. > [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Sean is probably a stinktard, but she’s not the one pointing the gun. Poseidon, father of Pegasus and lord of earthquakes, is. Sean can could only remove you from the line of firing by staying in it herself. Eh, though, “Stinktard” is a different kettle of stink. That evokes “retard” and might best be avoided. If he/she wants to be a hero, hooray. America loves heroes. If he/she wants to be safe, that’s okay too. Everyone has a right to look out for number one. It’s the placing of conditions that makes him/her stink. That’s just plain slimy. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2016, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nebbish-saves-your-life-in-exchange-for-promise-of-future-sex-do-yu-pay-up/760514/128 "2016-07-23T00:33:11Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > It’s no more than a variant spelling of “stinker.” I’ve been using it for years on the SDMB, and no one has complained before. I assumed **kayaker** ’s complaint about bad language was a joke, no? If not, we’re all in deep stinky doo-doo. ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2016, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nebbish-saves-your-life-in-exchange-for-promise-of-future-sex-do-yu-pay-up/760514/129 "2016-07-23T01:45:09Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Would you say she was sleeping with you to get a discount, or that she wanted to sleep with you anyway and the discount was simply a bonus? It was mutual ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2016, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nebbish-saves-your-life-in-exchange-for-promise-of-future-sex-do-yu-pay-up/760514/130 "2016-07-23T03:13:22Z")
> [@Riemann](#): > > I assumed **kayaker** ’s complaint about bad language was a joke, no? Of course. With all the f-bombs I drop in real life, I have no room to complain.😃 ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2016, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nebbish-saves-your-life-in-exchange-for-promise-of-future-sex-do-yu-pay-up/760514/131 "2016-07-23T03:49:30Z")
Oh, thank god! I was actually totally whooshed, and thought you had actually reported me for using the word. I apologize for not trusting you enough to presume it was but a quip. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2016, 10:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nebbish-saves-your-life-in-exchange-for-promise-of-future-sex-do-yu-pay-up/760514/132 "2016-07-23T10:13:46Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > A few months later, when you’re fully healed, Sean approaches yo and asks if you intend to keep your word about having sex with him. > > What do you say? “A promise extracted under duress is no promise at all. Fuck off.” ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2016, 10:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nebbish-saves-your-life-in-exchange-for-promise-of-future-sex-do-yu-pay-up/760514/133 "2016-07-23T10:16:42Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Because…? > > Sean didn’t put you under duress; Mother Nature did. Nope. Mother Nature put me _in distress_, Sean put me _under duress_. > [@](#): > > Do you think Sean was obliged to nearly die in order to save you? Nope > [@](#): > > If you had promised to pay Sean’s medical bills if Sean saved you, would you feel free to renege? Yep. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2016, 10:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nebbish-saves-your-life-in-exchange-for-promise-of-future-sex-do-yu-pay-up/760514/134 "2016-07-23T10:21:19Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Once they’re both healed, Sean comes to visit and asks Chris to pay up. May Chris ethically decline? Yes. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2016, 10:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nebbish-saves-your-life-in-exchange-for-promise-of-future-sex-do-yu-pay-up/760514/135 "2016-07-23T10:22:25Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > If Sean is asking Bill Gates for a million dollars in exchange for risking his life to save Bill’s, may Gates welsh? Yes. ---
**Author:** ![HMS\_Irruncible](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hms_irruncible/32/7394_2.png) [@HMS\_Irruncible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HMS_Irruncible)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2016, 11:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nebbish-saves-your-life-in-exchange-for-promise-of-future-sex-do-yu-pay-up/760514/136 "2016-07-23T11:08:24Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I hope you don’t think this will help you get a job at Rhymer Enterprises worm. t is not enough to be grasping and treacherous. You must be grasping and treacherous AT THE APPROPRIATE MOMENT. You plan only makes your life harder. You’re not impressed if I lie to Sean, then bash her head in with a brick and tell everyone the earthquake did it? I thought that was pretty ruthless. ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2016, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nebbish-saves-your-life-in-exchange-for-promise-of-future-sex-do-yu-pay-up/760514/137 "2016-07-23T20:43:12Z")
“I’m under no obligation to fulfill a promise made under duress. Furthermore, it was an asshole move to even ask for the promise. This kind of creepy, desperate shit is why you can’t get a date in the first place, Sean.” Once all that had sunk in and been acknowledged, I might have sex with Sean anyway, because I like sex and have no other commitments and few hangups. (Frankly, it’s unlikely that I would have rebuffed them the first time, but I won’t fight the hypothetical.) It depends on how they reacted to the lecture. With luck, it might serve as a “teachable” moment; they were already risking their life to help someone before the creep moment, which suggests there might be something reachable under the bad behavior. If not, oh well. Redemption is not for everyone. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2016, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nebbish-saves-your-life-in-exchange-for-promise-of-future-sex-do-yu-pay-up/760514/138 "2016-07-23T21:21:06Z")
> [@MrDibble](#): > > Yes. Please don’t take this as an insult, but keeping your word doesn’t seem tomean much to you. I agree that the promise of sex is different than the promise of money, because the right to control when one does not have sex is absolute. But the freedom to abrogate financial obligations is bullshit. I’ll ask you what I’ve asked a few others, friend Dibble. If I go to the doctor with a life-threatening condition, and the doctor tell me the treatment will cost $5,000 for them to provide and thus they want %6,000 from me to do it (no typo there, that’s profit), and I agree to that sum, AND HAVE THE ABILITY TO PAY, may I refuse to pay up later? If yes, why? If no, why is this situation different from Sean’s request to Bill Gates? How is a man’s life not worth a million dollars. if he has the million to pay? How is it right to expect Sean to risk death while planning to deny him compensation? ---
**Author:** ![Memnon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f1d935/32.png) [@Memnon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Memnon)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2016, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nebbish-saves-your-life-in-exchange-for-promise-of-future-sex-do-yu-pay-up/760514/139 "2016-07-23T23:39:05Z")
Disclaimer: Haven’t read the rest of the thread. I’d tell Sean to piss off. I don’t owe her sex just because she saved my life. Besides, if she’s crazy enough to suggest something like that in such an extreme situation, you _know_ it’s not just going to be a one-time thing. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2016, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nebbish-saves-your-life-in-exchange-for-promise-of-future-sex-do-yu-pay-up/760514/140 "2016-07-23T23:53:55Z")
> [@E-DUB](#): > > Ah, the Dan Fielding scenario. Unless I found Sean physically repulsive, yeah, I’d do it. With the solution being the well known Ted Cruz maneuver 🙂 I’d keep the promise. It’s just sex. I like my wanker but I don’t keep it on a 40 foot tall pedestal. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nebbish-saves-your-life-in-exchange-for-promise-of-future-sex-do-yu-pay-up/760514.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nebbish-saves-your-life-in-exchange-for-promise-of-future-sex-do-yu-pay-up/760514.md?page=8)