# Need a laugh? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 14, 2007, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-a-laugh/408008 "2007-06-14T16:44:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2007, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-a-laugh/408008/41 "2007-06-15T16:05:31Z")
Sydney? I got there first! You can have what’s left after I’ve finished oozing all over it. ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2007, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-a-laugh/408008/42 "2007-06-15T16:20:59Z")
Your Name/Username: MacTech You are a: Colossal Arachnid As a result of… Alien experimentation Offensive Ability: Melee Combat Adeptness Secondary Ability: Water-breathing Achilles Heel: Extreme Cold Resistance to heavy artillery: Low Primary motivation? Battling other monsters The first location you attack: Berlin, Germany I challenge you ALL to battle, Berlin is MINE!!, my venom sacs are full and webshooters ready… My Spider-Sense is tingling in anticipation of glorious battle! ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2007, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-a-laugh/408008/43 "2007-06-15T16:21:26Z")
[QUOTE=Rysto] Oh, and SDMB’s resident goddess of love’s Achilles heel is love? [/QUOTE] Well, there was [that whole thing with Ares](http://www.timelessmyths.com/classical/lovers.html#Aphrodite) a while back… ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2007, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-a-laugh/408008/44 "2007-06-15T17:32:17Z")
Y’all do realize that I personally am the only monster handling Japan,right? So that makes me a - um - KING. Yeah. A KING. I own Tokyo. Missy4me in RyJae’s aquarium? Pish Posh to THAT, man. I be runnin’ TOKYO!!! Hope the rest of you can play nice and SHARE your little cities like good little monsters. Heh heh - I’m the ruler of TOKYO! And mom never thought I’d amount to much… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Aholibah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Aholibah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aholibah)\ **Post date:** [June 15, 2007, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-a-laugh/408008/45 "2007-06-15T18:17:15Z")
Your Name/Username: Aholibah You are a: Gargantuan Cephalopod As a result of… A ritualistic summoning to this plane of existence Offensive Ability: Breath Weapon (Heat/Fire) Secondary Ability: Enhanced Agility/Speed Achilles Heel: Extreme Heat Resistance to heavy artillery: High Primary motivation? Protecting Mother Earth The first location you attack: Berlin, Germany It looks like Berlin is in for a rough week, is all I can say. 'Cause this speedy, fire-breathing, artillery-resistant, tree-hugging mutant squid from another dimension is ready to ROCK! (Just, please – no flamethrowers, 'kay?) ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2007, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-a-laugh/408008/46 "2007-06-18T17:28:31Z")
[QUOTE=Aholibah] Your Name/Username: Aholibah You are a: **Gargantuan Cephalopod** As a result of… **A ritualistic summoning to this plane of existence** Offensive Ability: Breath Weapon (Heat/Fire) Secondary Ability: Enhanced Agility/Speed Achilles Heel: Extreme Heat Resistance to heavy artillery: High Primary motivation? Protecting Mother Earth The first location you attack: Berlin, Germany It looks like Berlin is in for a rough week, is all I can say. 'Cause this speedy, fire-breathing, artillery-resistant, tree-hugging mutant squid from another dimension is ready to ROCK! (Just, please – no flamethrowers, 'kay?) [/QUOTE] Cthulu? is that you, buddy? ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [June 18, 2007, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-a-laugh/408008/47 "2007-06-18T20:31:24Z")
[QUOTE=Missy2U] Your Name/Username: Missy2U You are a: Gargantuan Cephalopod As a result of… Your creation by an ancient, mysterious civilization Offensive Ability: Projectile Venom Secondary Ability: Water-breathing Achilles Heel: Knockout Gas Resistance to heavy artillery: Above Average Primary motivation? Battling other monsters The first location you attack: Tokyo, Japan Cool. I’ve never been to Japan! [/QUOTE] Your Name/Username: cochrane You are a: Bipedal Humanoid that Defies Classification As a result of… Your extraterrestrial origins Offensive Ability: Melee Combat Adeptness Secondary Ability: Regeneration Achilles Heel: Extreme Heat Resistance to heavy artillery: Near Indestructible Primary motivation? **To be left alone** The first location you attack: Tokyo, Japan I’d join you in Tokyo, **Missy** , but, well…you know. I’d rather be alone. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sleel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/73ab20/32.png) [@Sleel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleel)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2007, 9:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-a-laugh/408008/48 "2007-06-21T09:19:45Z")
Your name: Sleel You are a: Gigantic Human As a result of: mutation after awaking from your prehistoric slumber Offensive Ability: Razor-Sharp Claws/Appendages Secondary Ability: Water-breathing Achilles Heel: High-Frequency Sound Resistance to heavy artillery: Near Indestructible Primary motivation? Absorbing atomic energy sources The first location you attack: Beijing, China Woo-hoo, I eat radiation, breathe underwater, and artillery is like a summer shower. Of course there is that whole high-frequency sound thing. Better not watch any Japanese porn—particularly school-girl porn—before heading out for _dim sum_ sized shrieking human treats with a nuclear warhead chaser. I’ll be back to kick it with my bud, _Gôjira_, later. Maybe I’ll also meet up with **Missy2U** and **cochrane** (though I hear he’s kind of anti-social). ---
**Author:** ![Surok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@Surok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Surok)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2007, 10:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-a-laugh/408008/49 "2007-06-21T10:02:04Z")
Your Name/Username: Surok You are a: Giant, Flightless Insect As a result of… Alien experimentation Offensive Ability: Melee Combat Adeptness Secondary Ability: Water-breathing Achilles Heel: MASER Cannons Resistance to heavy artillery: Moderate Primary motivation? Eradication of the human race The first location you attack: Sydney, Australia **Sunspace** , what’s your ETA over there? I’m with you all the way! ---
**Author:** ![Lynne\_kilii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d26b3c/32.png) [@Lynne\_kilii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynne_kilii)\ **Post date:** [June 21, 2007, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-a-laugh/408008/50 "2007-06-21T14:57:53Z")
Your Name/Username: Lynne\_kilii You are a: Gigantic Human As a result of… A ritualistic summoning to this plane of existence Offensive Ability: Ocular Energy Blast Secondary Ability: Water-breathing Achilles Heel: Extreme Cold Resistance to heavy artillery: High Primary motivation? Absorbing atomic energy sources The first location you attack: Moscow, Russia I’m being sent to Moscow, and my Achilles Heel is Extreme Cold? Bummer. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-a-laugh/408008.md?page=2)