# Need a slogan for my van **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 28, 2001, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-a-slogan-for-my-van/78556 "2001-08-28T17:39:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![JillGat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc29f/32.png) [@JillGat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JillGat)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2001, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-a-slogan-for-my-van/78556/1 "2001-08-28T17:39:40Z")
I just bought this non-descript grey Chevy Astro van at a govt. auction. I _feel_ really cool when I’m driving it - kind of in a reverse-sexy way - but when I see my reflection in store windows, I realize I just look like a damn soccer mom. And - worse - _I do drive it to soccer games_. Anyway, I’m not usually accused of caring what others think, but this is too much. I need an esoteric, edgy slogan for the side of the van. I’m thinking something like “Department of Neurological Archeology” or something. Maybe in Spanish. Any other ideas? ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2001, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-a-slogan-for-my-van/78556/2 "2001-08-28T17:43:52Z")
i saw a van once that had “Caution: Human Retinas Inside” painted on the back. Does that work? ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2001, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-a-slogan-for-my-van/78556/3 "2001-08-28T17:47:49Z")
There’s always “The Mystery Machine”. ---
**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2001, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-a-slogan-for-my-van/78556/4 "2001-08-28T17:51:40Z")
Since it’s a non-descript gov’t vehicle, perhaps a suitably mysterious abbreviation on the side? Something like “ILB”,maybe, I don’t know. Work a few b’s and f’s and maybe a ‘U.S.’ in there, it may look cool. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2001, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-a-slogan-for-my-van/78556/5 "2001-08-28T17:51:48Z")
Gorillas in the Mist Limousine Service My Other Astro is a Dog Psychic Field Surgery Don’t Follow Me–I’m Chasing Tornados ---
**Author:** ![caveman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/caveman/32/7242_2.png) [@caveman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/caveman)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2001, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-a-slogan-for-my-van/78556/6 "2001-08-28T17:55:11Z")
How about “If this van is a-rockin’, knock anyway” or “University of New Mexico Department of Oceanography” ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2001, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-a-slogan-for-my-van/78556/7 "2001-08-28T17:59:34Z")
(or suicidal…whichever) **Jill Magruder** , we here at the SDMB have a limited capacity for server space. Having been a member of this board now for two years, five months, 12 days, I thought you would have known that. But you have created [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=83757) thread previously which asks the same question. If you need help searching for your particular posts, may I suggest using the FAQ of this messageboard [here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/index.php?action=faq#search) which can direct you back to that thread. If you need further assistance in this matter, please feel free to contact one of the administrators, like TubaDiva or Ed Zotti, and they will happily explain to you. ::Ender runs off into the night before someone thwaps him on the head with a bumper sticker:: ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2001, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-a-slogan-for-my-van/78556/8 "2001-08-28T18:00:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by caveman \* > \*\*How about “If this van is a-rockin’, knock anyway” > \*\* Slightly better: “If this van is a-rockin’, there’s room for one more.” ---
**Author:** ![JillGat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc29f/32.png) [@JillGat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JillGat)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2001, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-a-slogan-for-my-van/78556/9 "2001-08-28T18:17:28Z")
Woo hoo! How about Ministry of Universal Embarassment? I got booted off, as I recall, while posting that other thread and never thought it got through. Just thought I’d try again. Anyway, I’ll go lock the other one now… ---
**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-a-slogan-for-my-van/78556/10 "2001-08-29T12:42:57Z")
I gotta say, after reading the other thread, that I _love_ **DoctorJ** ’s idea. ---
**Author:** ![JillGat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc29f/32.png) [@JillGat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JillGat)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-a-slogan-for-my-van/78556/11 "2001-08-29T15:15:10Z")
Lots of great ideas here. “My other Astro is a dog” is good for a bumper sticker, too. Maybe something with “SDSAB” (Straight Dope Science Advisory Board) in it for the door panel. ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2001, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-a-slogan-for-my-van/78556/12 "2001-08-29T15:28:02Z")
Paint it like a hippie van, call it “The Love Machine”, blare “Lowrider” all the time and get a bumper sticker that says “Don’t laugh, your daughter may be inside” ---
**Author:** ![LaToyota\_Corolla\_Falana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e9c0ed/32.png) [@LaToyota\_Corolla\_Falana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LaToyota_Corolla_Falana)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2001, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-a-slogan-for-my-van/78556/13 "2001-08-30T21:21:05Z")
Have neat helvetica lettering that says: County Ariborne Carcinigen Dispersal Unit Stay Back 500 Feet ---
**Author:** ![JillGat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc29f/32.png) [@JillGat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JillGat)\ **Post date:** [August 30, 2001, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-a-slogan-for-my-van/78556/14 "2001-08-30T21:31:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by LaToyota Corolla Falana \* > \*\*Have neat helvetica lettering that says: > > County Ariborne Carcinigen Dispersal Unit > Stay Back 500 Feet \*\* Hm, working in the health field, I dunno if they’d have a sense of humor about this.