# Need Advice about REALLY Skeevy Guy, kids might be in danger **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 9, 2004, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-advice-about-really-skeevy-guy-kids-might-be-in-danger/254238 "2004-07-09T04:56:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2004, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-advice-about-really-skeevy-guy-kids-might-be-in-danger/254238/41 "2004-07-09T21:40:59Z")
> [@astro](#): > > This is a all complete and utter nonsense. If I didn’t trust you Lezlers (and I do) I’d swear this was the biggest whopper of story I’d heard in years. I don’t blame you. I assure you, everything I’ve conveyed to you all is legit. Because there are children involved, I kind of wish I _was_ making it up. > [@](#): > > If all is as you have related, and assuming your friend is not pulling your chain, it’s slap-you-in-the-face obvious he’s a con man of some kind, and possibly a dangerous one. No kidding. I wish friend’s sister would see that. Unfortunately, she appears to be easily blinded by dollar signs. Doesn’t seem to care where the signs come from, as long as they’re there. > [@](#): > > Almost no one of real means in this society goes around with deliberately unimprinted checks and/or no credit cards unless they are criminals or con men. I would bet dollars to doughnuts all this talk about money in accounts and purchased houses etc is all a fairly tale in the end. Every wealthy eccentric I’ve ever met, no matter how strange, had plenty of credit cards and a regular checkbook. I know it! He insists it’s because he’s paranoid about identity theft. :rolleyes: > [@](#): > > Soon to be policeman daddy needs to step into this situation quickly. In fact I’m stunned he hasn’t already. My friend’s husband is soon to be a policeman, not the sister’s husband. Also, I attend law school with a cop and an X-cop. Didn’t even occur to me to grill them about this. I’m all over it Tuesday, when we have class again. ---
**Author:** ![buttonjockey308](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@buttonjockey308](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buttonjockey308)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2004, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-advice-about-really-skeevy-guy-kids-might-be-in-danger/254238/42 "2004-07-09T23:16:23Z")
lezlers… OK, here’s what you need to do… First… Wander on into your local police department, (or get with your LE acquaintances) give up Skeevy’s name, have 'em look it up. They can’t tell you anything, but if he’s a bad guy, the cops can find out, and the most you’ll have to do is point him out. Odds are, a chap with that much 1) money and 2) ways to hide his ID is a person swimming against the current of society. He’s HAD to have done something heinous, it’s just too bloody suspicious. Keep us informed. ---
**Author:** ![ccwaterback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@ccwaterback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ccwaterback)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2004, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-advice-about-really-skeevy-guy-kids-might-be-in-danger/254238/43 "2004-07-10T02:03:44Z")
> [@buttonjockey308](#): > > Wander on into your local police department, (or get with your LE acquaintances) give up Skeevy’s name, have 'em look it up. Name alone probably won’t do it. I have a sneaking suspicion Mr. Wonderful is actually Stuart Grabowski, or something similar. I doubt very much he’s using his real name. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2004, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-advice-about-really-skeevy-guy-kids-might-be-in-danger/254238/44 "2004-07-10T02:11:11Z")
> [@](#): > > The other possibilty is that Skeevy Guy is seriously trying to hide from somebody. Somebody who wants to hurt him and he is using this family as a shield. That’s why he’s insited on having the girl call him daddy. Somebody is looking for him (a single guy) and he is desperatly trying to hide. This very thought has gone through my mind all day. Sounds like a plot to a mafia goomba on the lam from the feds and mob movie. This could be a couple situations: 1. Skeevy Guy on the lame for drug smuggling/dealing and using woman and kids as a shield. 2. Skeevy Guy setting up a new business operation with porn or drugs or both. 3. Skeevy Guy did earn his money making smart investments from being a steelworking. Lives like Ted Kacynski and is uber miserly with his cash like Hetty Green. He could be wealthy but paranoid of banks and credit cards. There isn’t anything against the law to be paranoid and tightfisted. 4. Soon to be ex-husband seems to be a doormat in all of this. However, that said, with kids involved, it gives me a huge case of the willies. ---
**Author:** ![SSgtBaloo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@SSgtBaloo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSgtBaloo)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2004, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-advice-about-really-skeevy-guy-kids-might-be-in-danger/254238/45 "2004-07-10T02:33:54Z")
Creepy, creepy, creepy! I really don’t have anything of value to add, but now that I’ve read this thread I’ve gotta subscribe just so’s I can find out how it all turns out. –SSgtBaloo ---
**Author:** ![Club\_33](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@Club\_33](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Club_33)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2004, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-advice-about-really-skeevy-guy-kids-might-be-in-danger/254238/46 "2004-07-10T03:09:46Z")
Wow, Lezlers! Such a strange story. I really hope you are able to get some solid advice from your policeman friends. They should at least be able to get someone to sit and listen to your story. If this guy is a molester/pornographer, time is of the essence. I really hope that things work out for those kids. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2004, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-advice-about-really-skeevy-guy-kids-might-be-in-danger/254238/47 "2004-07-10T04:00:34Z")
The story is so over-the-top rediculous I can’t help thinking it was posted by a kid having a good laugh. I’ll take the bait and play along. If by some bizarre chance it is true then the father should give his older daughter 2 cell phones (in case 1 is found) and multiple calling cards (same reason). I would make sure the cell phone is GPS enabled or also give her a GPS so she can pinpoint her location. Anyone who feels the need to tell you they can pass a police investigation probably can’t. Someone who has lots of money to gamble with but doesn’t own a credit card is certainly a criminal of some sort. Nobody pays a hotel bill with a check. ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2004, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-advice-about-really-skeevy-guy-kids-might-be-in-danger/254238/48 "2004-07-10T05:36:42Z")
> [@Magiver](#): > > The story is so over-the-top rediculous I can’t help thinking it was posted by a kid having a good laugh. Check out my posting history. I’ve been a member here for quite awhile and while I mostly stick to the Pit, I feel as though I’m a fairly well established poster. I hope others can vouch for me. > [@](#): > > I’ll take the bait and play along. You’re too kind. > [@](#): > > If by some bizarre chance it is true then the father should give his older daughter 2 cell phones (in case 1 is found) and multiple calling cards (same reason). I would make sure the cell phone is GPS enabled or also give her a GPS so she can pinpoint her location. The father doesn’t even know this guy exists. I need to get more details about this aspect of the mess tommorow, when I see my friend again. > [@](#): > > Anyone who feels the need to tell you they can pass a police investigation probably can’t. What I said to my friend after she told me he offered, almost word for word. > [@](#): > > Someone who has lots of money to gamble with but doesn’t own a credit card is certainly a criminal of some sort. Nobody pays a hotel bill with a check. Especially one that’s not even pre-printed with his information. I was talking about this with another friend of mine tonight over dinner. He claims he doesn’t have his information pre-printed because he fears identity theft. Sounds pretty counter-productive to me. Wouldn’t not having your information on the check make it _easier_ for a thief to steal from you? All they’ve got to do is get a fake ID and fill in the corresponding information! ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2004, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-advice-about-really-skeevy-guy-kids-might-be-in-danger/254238/49 "2004-07-10T05:39:32Z")
> [@ccwaterback](#): > > Name alone probably won’t do it. I have a sneaking suspicion Mr. Wonderful is actually Stuart Grabowski, or something similar. I doubt very much he’s using his real name. Exactly. He asked her to _give him a couple of weeks_ before running the background check. What the hell would he need a couple of weeks for? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Second\_Star\_to\_the\_Right](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3bc359/32.png) [@Second\_Star\_to\_the\_Right](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Second_Star_to_the_Right)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2004, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-advice-about-really-skeevy-guy-kids-might-be-in-danger/254238/50 "2004-07-10T06:32:11Z")
> [@Magiver](#): > > The story is so over-the-top rediculous I can’t help thinking it was posted by a kid having a good laugh. > > I’ll take the bait and play along. **lezlers** is a credible poster on these boards. I don’t doubt for a minute that this story is true. Truth is sometimes stranger than fiction. I don’t have any advice to offer that hasn’t been given already, but please keep us updated, **lezlers.** Sounds like this could get really ugly. I hope for the best. ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2004, 9:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-advice-about-really-skeevy-guy-kids-might-be-in-danger/254238/51 "2004-07-10T09:59:48Z")
I know everyone says “go to the police immediately” and “tell the husband” - well, maybe. But I thought it worth re-iterating that it would be better if friend does this. If she won’t, fine, you need to, but does no one think the police or husband would be a lot more reassured for the kid’s aunt to bring these concerns rather than some-one who’s never met their mother? ---
**Author:** ![Harriet\_the\_Spry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e56c9b/32.png) [@Harriet\_the\_Spry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harriet_the_Spry)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2004, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-advice-about-really-skeevy-guy-kids-might-be-in-danger/254238/52 "2004-07-10T15:21:34Z")
First, if anyone in this saga has access to an employee assistance program, I’d encourage them to make a call. These programs can put you in touch with the appropriate resources and are ususally free or very low cost. Most large employers fund these anonymous programs to keep personal problems from taking employees’ time away from the job. I’d also suggest taking a look at the book “The Gift of Fear” by Gavin DeBecker. It explains the importance of paying attention to your “spidy senses” in a very credible way, and may reinforce your confidence to act and ability to persuade those more closely involved. I really feel for that 14 year old girl. Someone in the family should offer to let her stay with them ASAP. ---
**Author:** ![ruadh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d2c977/32.png) [@ruadh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ruadh)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2004, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-advice-about-really-skeevy-guy-kids-might-be-in-danger/254238/53 "2004-07-10T15:43:46Z")
I get the feeling that Skeevy Guy really isn’t that intelligent, or he wouldn’t be dropping such obvious hints. It shouldn’t be that difficult to get the dirt on him with a bit of research. I’m dying to know the rest of the story, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![ParentalAdvisory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/53a042/32.png) [@ParentalAdvisory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParentalAdvisory)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2004, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-advice-about-really-skeevy-guy-kids-might-be-in-danger/254238/54 "2004-07-10T16:08:33Z")
We should set him up a P-P-P-Powerhouse. ---
**Author:** ![AveDementia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bc8723/32.png) [@AveDementia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AveDementia)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2004, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-advice-about-really-skeevy-guy-kids-might-be-in-danger/254238/55 "2004-07-10T18:15:04Z")
Okay, I just wanted to subscribe to this thread and say a couple of things that haven’t been said yet. Washington state? (Not the city, right?) It’s probably heroin. (Oddly enough, I was once at a small gathering where a friend of the host brought over a “friend” of his and that “friend” set everyones spidey senses off so bad the whole little party died. Everyone, including me, suddenly got quiet and uncomfortable and started staring at the floor. And some of these people didn’t even have spidey senses! It was wierd. It was later discovered that “friend” was a major heroin dealer. Those are some seriously skeevy fuckers.) 50k? Then he probably has access to millions. Nobody is that flippant with that amount of cash if it’s all they have. Background check? He’s probably clear of anything, otherwise he’d have gotten a new identity. If it were other criminals after him, he’d lay low, maybe keep moving. With what you describe it sounds like establishing a new identity for the authorities. Hell, he probably stole the one he has now. You said it was common, right? The local police? What could they do if he hasn’t broken any laws? They can’t just throw people in jail based on their spidey senses. So what if they send someone over to talk to him? First off, that will just alert him that someone is suspicious enough to be a risk, and secondly, they could just move elsewhere and break off communication. And thirdly, it could cause this foolish woman to feel protective of him, possibly even lie for him more than she’s doing already. Why don’t you call the FBI? ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2004, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-advice-about-really-skeevy-guy-kids-might-be-in-danger/254238/56 "2004-07-10T18:22:18Z")
**Lezlers** Just go to the cops. If they decide not to act based on what you tell them, then work on having somebody closer to the situation go. From what you’ve told us, something horrible is coming. You need to act before it arrives. If the man really is an ex steel worker millionare, he’s clearly got mental problems. While keeping their millions in a safe in their rundown trailer doesn’t necessarily mean a person is going to be the next Unabomber or engage in sex with preschoolers as a sacrament, it’s definitely a bad sign. If it’s drugs, the longer this goes on the more of mom and the kid’s possessions and accounts will get siezed. If it’s child pornography, how long before the 14 year old becomes a victim? Act now. ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2004, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-advice-about-really-skeevy-guy-kids-might-be-in-danger/254238/57 "2004-07-10T18:40:05Z")
> [@AveDementia](#): > > The local police? What could they do if he hasn’t broken any laws? They can’t just throw people in jail based on their spidey senses. So what if they send someone over to talk to him? First off, that will just alert him that someone is suspicious enough to be a risk, and secondly, they could just move elsewhere and break off communication. And thirdly, it could cause this foolish woman to feel protective of him, possibly even lie for him more than she’s doing already. This is along my lines of thinking as well. What do I tell the police? He hasn’t _done_ anything. I will, however, talk to my cop classmates on Tuesday. I’m hanging out with friend tonight, I’ll definately have a long talk with her and I promise to post to let you all know what happened. Thanks again for everyone’s input and for vouching for my integrity, **Second Star to the Right**. ---
**Author:** ![StarvingButStrong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/starvingbutstrong/32/335_2.png) [@StarvingButStrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StarvingButStrong)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2004, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-advice-about-really-skeevy-guy-kids-might-be-in-danger/254238/58 "2004-07-10T19:11:14Z")
My two-bits: do you know anything awful about the father? You’ve said he is ‘illegal’ – I’m assuming that’s only something like non-American worker w/o the proper papers. Is he otherwise okay so far as you know? Not a druggie, doesn’t abuse wife or kids, etc? Assuming he’s okay, I would be on the phone to him this instant. Tell him where the kids are staying (the motel name, I mean) and hope he has the gumption to go pick them up and take them home. Why should he be moving out of their old house? Doesn’t he have as much rights to it as the wife? Especially if wife now has a brand-new home awaiting her, it sounds like she isn’t planning on moving back to the old one. So why shouldn’t father be staying in the existing house WITH the three kids, at least until wife moves into the new place with new man. At the very least, he could be keeping those kids safe until the mysteries of the new guy get settled. Give the kids time to get to know the new guy (assuming he turns out to be okay) before they have to disrupt their lives completely. (Losing friends, neighbors, home, their normal routine.) Though – the total passivity of the husband throughout this bothers me. Maybe you just haven’t heard his side, but it’s coming through as, “Oh, you met someone new, I should get out and forget about the kids? Okay, whatever.” I mean, even if he no longer loves the wife, he doesn’t give a damn about his kids??? ---
**Author:** ![WILLASS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/54ee81/32.png) [@WILLASS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WILLASS)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2004, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-advice-about-really-skeevy-guy-kids-might-be-in-danger/254238/59 "2004-07-10T21:30:44Z")
_Anyone_ with that amount of cash stashed in a run down trailer is up to something very, very illegal. I reckon he might have ripped off some crime partners in Washington and is now making good his dissapearance using this woman and her kids as a front. When amounts of cash that large are knocking about you can rest assured that the whole lot of them could wind up dead. Coke dealers regularley shoot people and their families for a lot less. I just can’t see any possible way that this guy could be even vaguelly legit. Why, if it was his money, would he put it all in her name? Why not go to the police and explain the situation and ask there advice, even if they give you hypothetical advice then surely it’s better than nothing? I only hope they don’t think you are nuts and bang you up, this is the weirdest thing I have heard in ages - Her entire family sound (with all due respect) as stupid as hell. ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2004, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-advice-about-really-skeevy-guy-kids-might-be-in-danger/254238/60 "2004-07-10T22:47:57Z")
> [@Zabali\_Clawbane](#): > > Bolding mine. > > If I’m reading this correctly, you know the mother of three’s aunt, as well as her sister? So, 2 female relatives of the woman who is being so foolish, correct? Why not pay a call to your friend, their aunt, bring the sibling of this woman along? That’s one of the things I’d do. I’d also be likely to call the father, and also consult with the police department. Hope things work out for the best in this, please keep us updated. The mother’s sister _is_ the childrens’ aunt! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-advice-about-really-skeevy-guy-kids-might-be-in-danger/254238.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-advice-about-really-skeevy-guy-kids-might-be-in-danger/254238.md?page=4)