# Need advice: Dealing with a delusional paranoid **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [March 25, 2004, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-advice-dealing-with-a-delusional-paranoid/236438 "2004-03-25T21:53:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 5\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![fighting\_ignorant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ac8455/32.png) [@fighting\_ignorant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fighting_ignorant)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2004, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-advice-dealing-with-a-delusional-paranoid/236438/1 "2004-03-25T21:53:53Z")
Someone I know is having a problem and asked for some advice. Here’s his question: > [@](#): > > I don’t want to bother anybody with a long story, but there’s a guy in my line of work who has gone crazy and is starting to fixate on me and some of my colleagues. Baically, he was fired from a job three years ago, probably unjustly, and some of us expressed sympathy when he contacted us. (I had never communicated with him before.) Shortly after that it became clear that he was paranoid and delusional, and he lost all his professional contacts. > > He has a pattern of harrassing people obsessively through emails and phone calls. He left me a nice phone message asking me for my direct number, and when I didn’t respond, he left a very hostile message accusing me of being implicated in various cover-ups, etc. > > Then last night he called me at home. I hung up after 30 seconds, he called back, I hung up as soon as the phone rang, then he called back ten minutes later from a pay phone. > > He’s also harrassing others at my office – though not at home, perhaps because they’re unlisted. We’ve got some security steps in place – locking doors, etc. > > What I’m trying to figure out is how to handle his particular psychology. Should I ignore him completely? Tell him I think he’s crazy and that he shouldn’t contact me? I’m trying to figure out the right mix. Ignoring him completely seems to enrage him, though perhaps it’s the least bad option. Anybody have any expertise or experience with people like that? ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [March 25, 2004, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-advice-dealing-with-a-delusional-paranoid/236438/2 "2004-03-25T22:17:51Z")
Your friend should contact the police. Really. If the person is really a parinoid schizophrenic (which is what I assume you mean), he needs medical attention. If he has another mental illness that causes him to unnaturally fixate and harrass someone he doesn’t know very well, he needs medical attention. Assuming your friend is not qualified to provide said attention he needs to alert people who can. ---
**Author:** ![fighting\_ignorant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ac8455/32.png) [@fighting\_ignorant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fighting_ignorant)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2004, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-advice-dealing-with-a-delusional-paranoid/236438/3 "2004-03-26T00:53:25Z")
> [@alice\_in\_wonderland](#): > > Your friend should contact the police. Really. > > If the person is really a parinoid schizophrenic (which is what I assume you mean), he needs medical attention. > > If he has another mental illness that causes him to unnaturally fixate and harrass someone he doesn’t know very well, he needs medical attention. > > Assuming your friend is not qualified to provide said attention he needs to alert people who can. Thanks for the advice. He’s done that (through his workplace they are coordinating with the cops to report the issue) but it’s more a question of how he personally should handle it; if the guy calls, do you just hang up? Not answer at all? Answer and tell him nicely not to call? Answer and tell him forcefully to get lost? etc. etc. ---
**Author:** ![fruitbat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fruitbat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fruitbat)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2004, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-advice-dealing-with-a-delusional-paranoid/236438/4 "2004-03-26T01:05:34Z")
Though I am not a professional I have some experience in this area. My brother is a paranoid schizophrenic. I would tell him once not to contact you and to find someone to talk to. I am not talking about a conversation, that is all you have to say. I would then hang up. I would also increase security around your house and be extra aware of your surroundings. Unmedicated schizophrenics can be dangerous and it would be foolhardy to pretend otherwise. I would hope that the lack of any further response would lead his delusions elsewhere. Nuances in conversation, however innocent they may seem to you, may have other meanings for him. Hopefully your local mental health agencies work with the police to develop a response and get this guy some help. ---
**Author:** ![Truth\_Seeker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5fc32e/32.png) [@Truth\_Seeker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Truth_Seeker)\ **Post date:** [March 26, 2004, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-advice-dealing-with-a-delusional-paranoid/236438/5 "2004-03-26T02:35:03Z")
This is **not** a recommendation, it’s merely food for thought. I knew someone in a similar position. She decided to play into the person’s particular delusion, which was something about being harrassed by the CIA. During one of his phone call binges, she had a male friend of hers answer the phone “CIA headquarters.” The caller gasped, slammed down the phone and never called back. I can’t say I would suggest this course of action – he might become violent. On the other hand, his thought processes are fundamentally irrational so you cannot know what might set him off anyway. Having said that, someone with a strong delusion is irrational but not necessarily illogical. If you grant their thoroughly bizzare premises, their actions are often consistent – well, more or less, anyway.