Manda Jo, this was my speech long before I read your post. Still. Kudos to you for posting it first.
Don’t eat the jello at the parties. If you do, you will be sorry.
There is a party going on somewhere around here 24/7. Attend them all and you’ll fail. Attend 1/2 of them and you’ll fail. Attend only a small handful and study like Hell & you may make it back here next year. Now look around you. Someone you’re looking at right now isn’t going to listen to me & won’t be back next year. And the only thing you can change about that is whether you’ll be missing along with them.
That said, go buy your books before all the copies are sold out of the Bookstore. And remember to read the first few chapters of each before your first class.
Take advantage of office hours. I always have complaints at the end of the semester about grades, about how they didn’t really understand the assignment, etc etc. But the people with the most complaints never once came to me and told me they were having a problem, and I am very accessible! Conversely, the students who would visit me in my office or send me emails always did very well. Professors aren’t going to do your work for you. You need to be pro-active.
I can’t think of a single professor I know who gives a crap about your HS grades. “But I got an A in English last year!” is an absolutely meaningless sentence. If you did well in high school, congrats, now buckle down and get to work.
Check up on Amazon.com or Half.com. Don’t pay full price for the book if you can help it. Check the library for the book. It may also be there as well. It may even be worth it to copy the pages you need instead of buying the book, as cheap or expensive as it may or may not be. Teachers (some of them, at least) will try to find cheaper versions of books, because they know books are expensive. Some will even copy the pages that are needed for you and the class, if only a chapter is needed. If your professor wrote the book they said you need, well, you’re getting shafted slightly.
I had completely forgotten this part, but it is very true. After you sign up for classes, maybe before even getting to the school, email the prof. about what books are required. A teacher I have right now has repeatedly asked the bookstore to order the “split edition” of a book, but they stock the full version anyways. Result: we have a $200 book that we will use 1/4 of this semester, and unless every person in there is majoring in art, they may never use it again. The prof. let me borrow his extra copy since it is my last lower level elective and I won’t be around to take the other classes in the series.
I think last quarter I bought about 8 books, none for more than $20. If I’d gone to the bookstore, I’d have spent well over $250.
In my grandfather’s day, a high school diploma went a long way. In my father’s day, a university degree went a long way. In my day, a graduate degree went a long way. I wonder when the time will come when a first degree will not be enough to set you above the rest of the pack when looking for employment.
Of course the whole issue is moot if you forget to wear a condom at the wrong time with the wrong person.
Being both a graduate of the toughest college in the country and a former instructor at a top university, I’ve noticed some patterns.
1.) Students who flunk out generally do so for one of two reasons. Either they spent too much time drinking, or they spent too much time playing video games. I imagine that intelligent parents and students are quite aware of the first problem, but perhaps not no much of the second. In truth, far too many students let games eat up 5, 10, or even 15 hours a day. Recent games are designed to be addictive. I advise not having any game systems in your dorm room.
2.) Academic performance correlates tightly with amount of sleep. Sleep is a good thing. Getting more of it can resolve a surprising number of problems. Aim for eight or nine hours a night (at least).
3.) Grades do not depend on innate intelligence or previous experience, but rather on willingness to ask for help. pepperlandgirl has already mentioned office hours. Other possible resources are teaching assistants, fellow students, private tutors, and the college’s tutoring center, if they have one. If things get overwhelming, don’t hesitate to ask for help. You have professors, advisers, department chairs, counselors, and chaplains who are willing to talk with you.
4.) Just because another student suggests something does not necessarily mean that it’s a good idea. Having fun is important, but you can’t be a part or member of everything. Some students come in and immediately sign up for every club and activity they see. You have to prioritize.
Early on, you will meet upperclassmen who fiercely push an agenda. Religious, political, moral, whatever. Don’t commit yourself to anything. If they had a lot of support for their agenda already, they wouldn’t be hounding freshmen.
Don’t lend out anything you want to see again.
Don’t do competitive drinking.
Work out a schedule and arrangements with your roommate. How late they want lights on, how late (or early) they want music on, what level of disorder they can live with, and so forth.
Be polite to local business owners. This may pay off later (it did for me). Do it anyway.
Don’t bring any clothing that has to be dry cleaned.
Bring your own plastic tumblers and your own coffee cups. Don’t steal from the cafeteria either; that’s tacky.
On move-in day, wear shorts, not jeans. That’s probably moot in Florida, of course.
Also on move-in day, have snacks and something to drink in your room, and offer freely.
People have mentioned this in previous posts, but I think it may need a little more emphasis:
Join stuff. More specifically, become an active member of at least one of the groups on campus. I would recommend a smaller group, perhaps around a dozen people, because that’s the group I attached myself to in my freshman year, who instantly became my best friends on campus. Tell him to find a group that he can feel passionate about, whether they share a hobby or a cause. These are the people he can connect with. Classmates, roommates and dormmates may become good friends by pure chance, but it doesn’t happen nearly as often as finding a good small group does.
Also, tel him that if he’s having difficulty concentrating in his dorm room, there’s plenty of other places to go. The dorm commons area, the eating centers, the student centers, the library, outside (in good weather. All can be excellent places for working – or sleeping if he so desires. College students will study, and sleep, anywhere. The entire campus is his house now.
Whips out class schedule
Gen Chem-Start time 9:40
Acting I-Start time 9:40
Shit. It’s only twenty minutes earlier. I can make up for it on the weekends. Nods vigorously
Do what you can to try and fit your classes into only 3 days a week (I’ve got my currently classes scheduled all into Tuesday and Thursday). The workload on those days might be a little rough, but you’ll cherish the days off in between. Just don’t waste them in their entirety.
Do the reading for your classes. I get endless streams of shit from my friends for putting too much effort into my classes, but you know what? When they’re bitching about the exam afterwards, I’m pretty confident that I got at least a B. Often times A’s.
Abandon any notion you might have about college kids being more mature than they were in high school. If anything, they’re less mature for the first year or two. Painfully so.
Good luck in the dorm. The laundry machine will break, the showers will clog (make sure you wear sandels in the shower, for the love of God wear sandels!), the toilets will be full of shit and vomit on Fridays and Saturdays, and you’ll most likely be on a floor with a bunch of complete and utter jackasses (please don’t be one of them).
If you’re in the city and you want to socialize, do something constructive like joining a volunteer club. I had never done any volunteering in high school but I joined Circle K my freshman year and met some pretty cool people, and worked on projects that actually made me feel like I was making some kind of a difference. Be weary of frat parties, they get busted. Be weary of frats in general, there are a few cool guys in some of them, but a good majority are huge douchebags.
Ok, I don’t want to start debate, as this thread is not the time nor the place, but while I agree with the first part (I’m not a huge party guy anyways), the second is somewhat painted with a broad brush. Fraternities are a very interesting thing. Yes, there are stereotypical ones, but there are also service ones and such. Socials ones are also fine (IMO), but not for everyone. I know a good bit of people who are in fraternities, as am I, and I will be honest, there are douche bags around. There are also douche bags all over campus who would never be in a fraternity/sorority. Basically, these types of groups are fine to check out, see what they are like and all. The biggest thing is to find a group that you can fit in to. The fraternity is full of a bunch of gamers and Ivyboy loves Halo and Gears of War, then they have something in common, thus might get along. I wouldn’t suggest everyone join a Greek organization, but don’t let stereotypes stop you from getting to know what may be a good group of people.
Also, Soapbox Monkey, I’m sorry if this came off as something directed at you specifically. I’ve heard comments similar to that before, and I have made them. I just wanted to say my piece on this. I am sure that if there is to be a debate, it warrants a different thread, as that would not involve Ivyboy specifically. I hope this has not come off snarky or anything.
Heck, tell him to get a part-time campus job IN the library. That’s what I did way back when, and it proved to be invaluable. I worked in what was called Microforms and Periodicals. The work itself was minimal, so lots of study time. I REALLY got to know the library, which was a huge building. Reshelving the periodicals, I learned so much from those, maybe as much as from my classes. Wasn’t just Time and Newsweek stuff; lots of trade journals in everything from philosophy to biology to nuclear physics. My fellow Student Assistants were all (well, mostly) a cool bunch of students I’d never have met otherwise. I could always find some quiet nook in there to study, then pop on for my shift, then go back to that quiet nook to study.
It was one of the best jobs I ever had. They pretty much had to drag me out of there kicking and screaming after I graduated. (In fact, I kept working there three months after I graduated. The policy was to let you work through the summer after graduation.)
Edit: And another plus was my bosses were VERY understanding if I needed extra time off to study, like finals coming up. There was a 20-hour limit during the semesters, but during summer and Christmas breaks, I could work full-time if they needed me. And they usually did, because of so many other students going home during the breaks.
SECRETARIES are the ones that get stuff done. They run the show. Ninety percent of your questions can be handled better and more efficiently by secretaries than speaking with the actual person. They know the answers. If not, they show you to the person that does.
Also, don’t trust your guidance counselors. I’m sorry, but half of the people I knew in college had wasted their time in at least one class that they were told was required but was not.
Get out of your room. It’s hard for some of us, I know. I was an absolute wreck my freshman year because I wasn’t able to do this. Didn’t have many friends going in, and was too shy to make them when I got there. Sixteen hour stints in my room weren’t unusual. Neither were entire weekends holed up leaving only 4 times for meals. Yeah, it’s awkward for some of us. It tough. But just trust me that working up the nerve is a hell of a lot better than losing the opportunity having not even tried.
I beg to differ about the GPA for the simple fact that you don’t know what you’ll be doing out of college. Some employers require a minimum GPA to be considered, and there’s always graduate school to think about. Like it or not, GPA is sort of a quick and dirty way to measure things like effort and personal organization and time-management skills. The dumbest thing a student can do is to take the attitude that GPA doesn’t matter. (ETA) It also may matter for licensing purposes.
Likewise with degree choice. Some companies don’t care what your degree is in, as long as you have one. Some (and I’m learning that that’s an increasingly high number) do. The key is to balance interest with employability.
About textbooks: Wait until the first day of class to buy the books. This is true for all classes unless the professor e-mails the class about a pre-class assignment. Some professors will never use the books, but they have to assign something. And some textbooks are invaluable references that should be bought and kept. But one suggestion: Make sure you have the stylebook for your particular major. They are invaluable.
Since he’s going to be relying on scholarships and loans to pay for college, I think a good GPA is extremely important. His father and I beggared ourselves to send the kidlets to private school, and we warned them they were on their own for college. (Not as brutal as it seems, I paid for my college entirely with Pell grants and academic scholarships, and still managed to graduate in less than four years.)
Small British Shop Owner, I’d like to point out that just because someone is smart doesn’t mean they’re knowledgeable. This will be a new experience for my son, and since my experience is about 20 years old, I’d like to give him up to date information on what to expect.
Thanks so much guys…I’m sending this thread to Ivyboy. Keep it coming!
And bring a book when you go to buy them. The line is gonna be long.
Go to class. Go to class. And go to class. Most classes you’ll go over different information than was in the book. You’re more likely to get away with not doing the reading than with not attending classes. And if you happen to get a professor that goes over the same information as is in the readings during class, it’ll probably take you less time to listen to him than to do the reading yourself. That’s not to say that you shouldn’t do the readings of course (although in the second circumstance, rare as it is, you may well not need to).
