# Need Advice: Student in Wheelchair. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 19, 2012, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-advice-student-in-wheelchair/631916 "2012-08-19T00:06:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![kyogi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/51bf81/32.png) [@kyogi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kyogi)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-advice-student-in-wheelchair/631916/21 "2012-08-21T05:50:49Z")
My dad’s paraplegic, since I was 3. That rehab they go through is like bootcamp. If she’s going back to school, she’s way over petty offences like slips of tongue that imply normal body function. If you think it would aid you in dealing with special circumstances like hers, in the future in your position, ask. She’ll likely understand your consternation and be happy to make things plain for you. This should also “break the ice”/open dialogue so she will be comfortable asking if she needs help with something. Believe me, she’s the one person who is much more aware of her problems than you are. Discussing them will discomfort her a helluva lot less than you. Though I would recommend broaching the subject in private. Hell, tell her I suggested it. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-advice-student-in-wheelchair/631916/22 "2012-08-21T06:24:50Z")
> [@kyogi](#): > > My dad’s paraplegic, since I was 3. That rehab they go through is like bootcamp. nm ---
**Author:** ![kyogi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/51bf81/32.png) [@kyogi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kyogi)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-advice-student-in-wheelchair/631916/23 "2012-08-21T06:36:23Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > What’s this “bootcamp-like” rehab of which you speak? 😕 > > (I’m also paraplegic) > > Mine was tedious and boring. I remember him being dumped out of his chair and made to climb back in repeatedly. The therapists showed no pity and taught him to expect none. Verbal re-inforcement of the fact that he was as he had become and had to deal with it beat out any self- pity or woefulness. They made it clear that it was imperative he live in his new reality and he was conditioned to expect not only the physical trials but also the daily task of dealing with people who it was not familiar to. This was somewhere outside Boulder CO. The few memories I have from that age. That was 1972. Maybe things have changed. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 10:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-advice-student-in-wheelchair/631916/24 "2012-08-21T10:10:20Z")
> [@kyogi](#): > > That was 1972. Maybe things have changed. Either things have changed or you had a different perspective than adults. Probably a little of column A, little of B. Physical Therapy is damn hard, don’t get me wrong. They do implore, cajole, nag, and cheer, and are far less likely than most of us to accept “I can’t do it!” for an answer. I’m far too softhearted to be a PT. But no, no one is dumping anyone out of chairs to teach transferring techniques these days (and if they are, they will/should lose their license.) ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-advice-student-in-wheelchair/631916/25 "2012-08-21T17:32:36Z")
> [@kyogi](#): > > I remember him being dumped out of his chair and made to climb back in repeatedly. > > That was 1972. Maybe things have changed. Uh, _what?_ Yeah, just a bit. GeezusChrist yes. ---
**Author:** ![kyogi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/51bf81/32.png) [@kyogi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kyogi)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-advice-student-in-wheelchair/631916/26 "2012-08-21T18:38:05Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > But no, no one is dumping anyone out of chairs to teach transferring techniques these days (and if they are, they will/should lose their license.) I wouldn’t knock it. It made him indepent physically, and emotionally able to cope. He hated them until he got out. Later he had nothing but praise and gratitude for the way they handled him. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-advice-student-in-wheelchair/631916/27 "2012-08-21T20:19:05Z")
One thing to remember: SHE IS AN ADULT. Please treat her like one. I could not believe the number of people who treated me like a five year old when I had a cast on my arm. I sympathized with Christopher Reeve, who actually had to tell one of his nurses (!): I am a 55 year old man. If you can’t treat me like one, get out. I’d tell her I will give her any help if she asks for it, but I will not insult her by assuming she needs help with anything. Just tell her to ask. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-advice-student-in-wheelchair/631916/28 "2012-08-22T01:08:57Z")
> [@kyogi](#): > > I wouldn’t knock it. It made him indepent physically, and emotionally able to cope. He hated them until he got out. Later he had nothing but praise and gratitude for the way they handled him. Psssht. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2012, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-advice-student-in-wheelchair/631916/29 "2012-08-22T01:10:16Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > One thing to remember: SHE IS AN ADULT. Please treat her like one. Fat chance on that one. (not directed at the OP, just in general). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-advice-student-in-wheelchair/631916.md?page=1)