# Need alibi for giant gash on forehead/Share tales of conspicuous wounds earned while inebriated **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 25, 2011, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-alibi-for-giant-gash-on-forehead-share-tales-of-conspicuous-wounds-earned-while-inebriated/586849 "2011-06-25T21:31:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![I\_Know\_Nothing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f04885/32.png) [@I\_Know\_Nothing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Know_Nothing)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2011, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-alibi-for-giant-gash-on-forehead-share-tales-of-conspicuous-wounds-earned-while-inebriated/586849/1 "2011-06-25T21:31:45Z")
My brother, who is going through severe emotional issues, blacked out last night while on a bender. He lost his wallet and cell phone, but worst of all he woke up with a bloody face, resulting from a giant gash on his forehead just small enough not to require stitches. He will be going to work tomorrow with a bandage covering aforementioned wound. Suggest an alibi. How should he respond with coworkers say “OMG what happened.” Anyone have similar stories with embarrassing wounds and a helpful way of responding. As far as the bandage, do you go with a cutesie/funny “ouch” or “wtf” bandaid knowing that everyone will notice anyway. Or is a more minimalist skin colored bandaid a better approach. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2011, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-alibi-for-giant-gash-on-forehead-share-tales-of-conspicuous-wounds-earned-while-inebriated/586849/2 "2011-06-25T21:34:46Z")
“I had to trim my horn back.” ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2011, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-alibi-for-giant-gash-on-forehead-share-tales-of-conspicuous-wounds-earned-while-inebriated/586849/3 "2011-06-25T21:35:53Z")
I always go with a blatant Band-Aid (like Star Wars or Scooby-Doo) rather than try to hide an injury. As for the excuse, the best bet is to make up something embarrassing, but not _that_ embarrassing. The last time I got into a bar fight, I ended up sporting a shiner for a few days. I told people I got cold-cocked by an 80-year-old grandma wielding a box of Tide at the supermarket. She was swinging it off the shelf into her cart, missed just as I stood up next to her, and “Pow!” Tell a story like that and people laugh. Tell them you blacked out or got your ass handed to you in a fight, and they _don’t_ laugh. ---
**Author:** ![appleciders](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85f322/32.png) [@appleciders](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/appleciders)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2011, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-alibi-for-giant-gash-on-forehead-share-tales-of-conspicuous-wounds-earned-while-inebriated/586849/4 "2011-06-25T21:41:38Z")
I always just say “Damn velociraptors again. I have got to cut that grass back this weekend.” Usually gets a laugh. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2011, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-alibi-for-giant-gash-on-forehead-share-tales-of-conspicuous-wounds-earned-while-inebriated/586849/5 "2011-06-25T21:44:18Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > As for the excuse, the best bet is to make up something embarrassing, but not _that_ embarrassing. The last time I got into a bar fight, I ended up sporting a shiner for a few days. I could stand to toughen up my image a little bit. If I ever get a properly visible injury, I’m all prepared to tell my friends I got it in a bar fight. ---
**Author:** ![Lamar\_Mundane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lamar\_Mundane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamar_Mundane)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2011, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-alibi-for-giant-gash-on-forehead-share-tales-of-conspicuous-wounds-earned-while-inebriated/586849/6 "2011-06-25T23:54:11Z")
The last time I got a gash on my face (right between the eyes) I was completely sober. I was getting a box off a high shelf in the garage, and as I tilted towards myself to get a good grip, a long forgotten dartboard slid off the top of it right into my head. Feel free to let him borrow my anecdote. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2011, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-alibi-for-giant-gash-on-forehead-share-tales-of-conspicuous-wounds-earned-while-inebriated/586849/7 "2011-06-26T00:41:32Z")
> [@I\_Know\_Nothing](#): > > Suggest an alibi. How should he respond with coworkers say “OMG what happened.” “Papercut” Say nothing more. ---
**Author:** ![Ibanez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a4c791/32.png) [@Ibanez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibanez)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2011, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-alibi-for-giant-gash-on-forehead-share-tales-of-conspicuous-wounds-earned-while-inebriated/586849/8 "2011-06-26T01:01:05Z")
I was fighting a goat. Or you can go with **Lamar Mundane’s** version, that’s a good one. ---
**Author:** ![inkling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f17d59/32.png) [@inkling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inkling)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2011, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-alibi-for-giant-gash-on-forehead-share-tales-of-conspicuous-wounds-earned-while-inebriated/586849/9 "2011-06-26T01:50:50Z")
“I bit myself by accident.” “On the _forehead_? How’d you bite yourself on the _forehead_, of all places?” “I stood on a chair.” ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2011, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-alibi-for-giant-gash-on-forehead-share-tales-of-conspicuous-wounds-earned-while-inebriated/586849/10 "2011-06-26T02:09:47Z")
Took the towel-turban off my head. It caught on an angle lamp. Lamp swung around and socked me in the eye. ---
**Author:** ![colonial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/34f0e0/32.png) [@colonial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/colonial)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2011, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-alibi-for-giant-gash-on-forehead-share-tales-of-conspicuous-wounds-earned-while-inebriated/586849/11 "2011-06-26T02:14:40Z")
Luckily the only time this happened to me all the damage was on my arms and I was able to use long-sleeved shirts hide the scabby evidence, of which there was quite a bit. I did once get bashed face down into the sand by rough surf while body surfing and no one looked at me too funny when I gave that as the explanation for the 1-1.5" diamter scab in the middle of my forehead. BTW Vitamin E really, honest-to-god does work as a healing accelereant for minor but usightly wounds. Keep such a would irrigated with Vitamin E 24 hours a day and the scab will be gone in a week (puncture capsule to get liquid vitamin). It worked for me in the two cases above. ---
**Author:** ![Salem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8c91f0/32.png) [@Salem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Salem)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2011, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-alibi-for-giant-gash-on-forehead-share-tales-of-conspicuous-wounds-earned-while-inebriated/586849/12 "2011-06-26T02:49:47Z")
I cut myself shaving. ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2011, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-alibi-for-giant-gash-on-forehead-share-tales-of-conspicuous-wounds-earned-while-inebriated/586849/13 "2011-06-26T03:00:51Z")
I actually bruised my forehead after running into a door. Went over well when I told my coworkers at the Public Defender’s Office. ---
**Author:** ![voltaire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voltaire/32/313_2.png) [@voltaire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voltaire)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2011, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-alibi-for-giant-gash-on-forehead-share-tales-of-conspicuous-wounds-earned-while-inebriated/586849/14 "2011-06-26T03:02:56Z")
Had a nasty scrape on my chin once when I drunkenly fell on the sidewalk chin-first. When people asked, I just said I tripped and left out the drunk off my ass part. Now, the burn on the lip that lasted for a couple weeks required more creativity. I went with a story about roasting marshmallows with a wire coat-hanger. Yeah, dunno if anybody really bought either of those… ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2011, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-alibi-for-giant-gash-on-forehead-share-tales-of-conspicuous-wounds-earned-while-inebriated/586849/15 "2011-06-26T03:12:50Z")
Once upon a time I got a pretty bloody gash on my forehead by colliding with, I think, a dragonfly at 1200 feet at around 70 mph. Not that anyone believed me - but it was true! ---
**Author:** ![Oslo\_Ostragoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/a9a28c/32.png) [@Oslo\_Ostragoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oslo_Ostragoth)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2011, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-alibi-for-giant-gash-on-forehead-share-tales-of-conspicuous-wounds-earned-while-inebriated/586849/16 "2011-06-26T04:31:00Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > Once upon a time I got a pretty bloody gash on my forehead by colliding with, I think, a dragonfly at 1200 feet at around 70 mph. > > Not that anyone believed me - but it was true! Interesting post/username combo there… ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Cymbeline](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_cymbeline/32/9244_2.png) [@Green\_Cymbeline](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Cymbeline)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2011, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-alibi-for-giant-gash-on-forehead-share-tales-of-conspicuous-wounds-earned-while-inebriated/586849/17 "2011-06-26T04:52:27Z")
Similar thing happened to me. I was blitzed drunk and trying to brush my teeth. I banged my forehead on the faucet resulting in a nasty gash that would not stop bleeding. The next day, my forehead had a swollen bump the size of a grapefruit. It was hard to explain. ---
**Author:** ![Projammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/projammer/32/559_2.png) [@Projammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Projammer)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2011, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-alibi-for-giant-gash-on-forehead-share-tales-of-conspicuous-wounds-earned-while-inebriated/586849/18 "2011-06-26T05:03:56Z")
Walked into a cabinet door that wasn’t supposed to be open. ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2011, 9:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-alibi-for-giant-gash-on-forehead-share-tales-of-conspicuous-wounds-earned-while-inebriated/586849/19 "2011-06-26T09:03:45Z")
Monkey knife fight. I wasn’t involved, it just kinda happened around me. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21825_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2011, 11:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-alibi-for-giant-gash-on-forehead-share-tales-of-conspicuous-wounds-earned-while-inebriated/586849/20 "2011-06-26T11:01:30Z")
> [@Broomstick](#): > > “Papercut” > > Say nothing more. This one made me laugh aloud! One could also feign ignorance. “What? Where? OMG, how did that happen??? Who did this to me??” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-alibi-for-giant-gash-on-forehead-share-tales-of-conspicuous-wounds-earned-while-inebriated/586849.md?page=2)