This may sound like a hijack, but I promise it’s not.
Many years ago, when I had a really crappy job and no money, I lived next door to a friend who was in the same position. Once, we both happened to be penniless broke (waiting for payday), and neither of us had much more in our apartments than beans & rice. If that. So we sat down to watch TV. And suddenly noticed how many ads have food in them, even if they are not ads for food. We kept track during a one-hour show and counted up something like 8 out of 10 ads on TV feature really tempting, yummy-looking food. You may only notice this if you’re hungry and bored in front of the TV.
So my advice is turn off your television. If you don’t have a DVR and can get one, do that and FF past all the commercials. I’m really just suggesting finding ways to tone down the power of suggestion. Crank up the radio instead. Either find something you like to dance to, or just do chores/housecleaning. Tired and need to rest? Sit and read with instrumental music on.
Expanding on the idea of what 6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast and tdn said:
The first step in breaking a behaviour loop is to stop the first thought. When you think, ‘Eating something will make me feel better,’ stop it right there and say to yourself, ‘Eating something will not make me feel better. I will feel guilty for doing it and it is not good for my body.’
There is also Journalling. This doesn’t have to take a longhand form. It can be as simple as writing down what was freaking you out and when.
I like the journalling idea. You could also write ‘Eating something will not make me feel better. I will feel guilty for doing it and it is not good for my body.’ on a sheet of paper and tape it to your pantry. The only problem with that is that it will turn invisible after a while. Every now and then you’ll have to make it more colorful so that you’ll still see it.
I’m going to get in on this thread too as I struggle with the same issue. On the weekend I went to an Overeaters Anonymous. I am having a bit of trouble with the whole god aspect of it but I’m trying to find my own idea instead.
Anyway yesterday was day 1. I realize that, for me, this is going to be one of the hardest things I’ve ever tried to do. I know some people don’t understand (hey just stop eating!) but I’d rather quit smoking every day than quit compulsively overeating.
Good luck, Cinnamon! If you ever are struggling or just want to commiserate, please don’t hesitate to pm me. I could use the mutual support as well.
At first when I started to read this I didn’t agree with it but by the end I totally did. I hope I can reach that point.
Dukan diet. Easy to do since you gradually get rewards and desserts. Journal your food; just a $1 notebook, takes 30 seconds each day.
Have sex when you think you’re hungry or you want to eat.
If you can’t have sex, do 10 squats and 5 push ups for 3 flights of stairs.
I’ve always found that even if I don’t want #2, I always always feel better afterwards. I internalize all my stress in my lower back – but if I have sex the pain is gone and I feel, physically, far better than I did before it.
And, echoing Crafter Man, I don’t buy snacks. Initially the fiance had a shit show - he didn’t have a weight problem, why should he suffer! But he’s eating very well (if I make the calls on what’s purchased I shoulder the burden of preparing it, a fair trade off) and feels better sans snacks anyways. He’ll snack on pistachios, babybels and fruit now.
Sunday I wanted ice cream. Guess who was too lazy to walk the 15 minutes round trip for it?
It’s much better to think “Oh, if I REALLY want it, I can go get it…” rather than saying “nope, can’t have it”.
This reminds me of something that I’ve heard a few times. There is a therapist of some sort that deals with behavioral change. One of his clients wanted to stop drinking. The guy told him that he could drink as much as he wanted. But he’d have to walk five miles to somewhere, have one drink there, then walk back. If he wanted a second drink he’d have to walk there again.
Maybe Unauthorized Cinnamon could do something like that. How about this? Write a check for a very large amount to a trusted friend. Then e-mail them every day to say that you didn’t snack. On the one day that they don’t get that e-mail, they get to cash the check.
Or keep junk food in the house, but really disgusting junk food. Alpo comes to mind.
“A moment on the lips, a lifetime on the hips” It’s such an annoying mantra, you’ll start hating brownies once you get that earworm going. Also write down everything you eat before you eat it. Write it down, look at it … maybe cross it out!
Snort lavender oil! Keep a little bottle to sniff on - it’s calming.
I recently read a book about mindful eating. You need to absolutely exclusively savor every single bite. No distractions allowed, so as others have pointed out no eating while watching TV or driving or reading. Thoroughly consider and experience every bite. You’ll find that you won’t waste time and calories on things that aren’t actually good.
Buy yourself a pretty tea cup, I’m talking a pattern that pleases you with an actual saucer, and serve yourself a nice cup of tea. You deserve it!
My cure is very simple: I look at a pic of my 3 nieces, and insist to myself that I will be at the important events in their future lives. Instant turn-off to that bag of cookies and a big incentive to hop onto the stationary bike-so bye bye 55 pounds and counting (only a few now from a “normal” BMI!). Seeing my obese dad wheeze his way though the last 10 years of his life helps too.
Do you knit? If not, it can be cheap and fun, and it’s surprisingly good at killing time/relieving stress. Don’t worry about being any good. Just grab a starter ball of fun yarn and do a scarf in the basic garter stitch. I promise you that clacking the needles together and watching fabric come out of yarn will relieve some stress! Bonus: if you tend to eat while watching TV, you can easily substitute knitting while watching TV. Great if you’re like me and you really want to stop snacking but you don’t want to miss your favorite shows!
You have kids? Sneak into their crayon boxes and color! It sounds really weird, but it can be very soothing and quite a bit of fun. A therapist of mine recommended it for anxiety/stress. I thought she was full of it. Then I had a day of near constant panic attacks and thought “what the hell, I’ll try anything.” It really is relaxing! You can create your own pictures free form (don’t worry about them being any good–no one ever has to see them) or grab a coloring book from the dollar store. I know you’re probably laughing right now–I was almost too embarrassed to type this. But it really can be fun!
If you like to cook but find yourself sampling your work too much (or eating the whole thing), get a candle making kit and try making some fun, colorful, or even scented candles. You get much of the same satisfaction as you do from cooking (smells, creation, texture, etc.) but no calories! Plus you have great gifts if you get good at it!
Your body can mistake thirst and hunger, too - the first thing to do when you head to the kitchen is have a glass of water, and see if that does the trick. It can cut down on your eating, too, simply because you don’t have as much room in your stomach.
The smell of green apple, banana and dark chocolate are apparently appetite suppressants, too.
You might want to try letting your 4yr old and your clock dictate when you eat. For instance, you know that your child will/should eat 3 meals and 2-3 snacks every day, and that these meals/snacks occur at roughly the same time everyday. So if you eat breakfast at 7am, you’d probably have a snack around 9:30 - 10, lunch around Noon-ish, another snack around 2:30 - 3pm, dinner around 5-6:30, and maybe a final light snack at about 8pm.
Having a set schedule and eating your meals/snacks with your child might help you to stave off emotional eating because you’ll be able to say to yourself, “I can have some at *** when I sit down with lil Sammy. In the meantime, I’ll go ahead and put those clothes in the dryer and lil Sammy and I will go for a walk.” By the next snack/meal time, when you’re preparing something healthy for lil Sammy you’ll be more likely to eat something healthy yourself.
I have finally learned that I get hungry every 3ish hours. Recognizing this, it is easy to look at a clock and know whether I’m actually hungry or if I’m eating for some other reason. If it’s been at least 3 hours then I know it’s reasonable for me to want a snack and it’s therefore easier to be satisfied with a healthy snack or a small unhealthy snack. It’s also easier to stick to smaller snacks when I know I’ll be eating again in a few hours.
If it’s only been an hour or so since my last meal/snack, then I know I’m reaching for food for some reason other than hunger. This knowledge makes it a little easier to say to myself “No, you’re not hungry and you’ll be eating again at ** o’clock. Let’s go find something else to do.” Just knowing that it’s not real hunger is sometimes enough to make the desire go away.
Unfortunately my 4yo is part hobbit! Seriously though, having a guideline of only eating with other people would be useful. It’s not like I buy the pint of “medicinal” ice cream and eat it in front of my kids - they would want some of my Precious!
Luckily, I don’t tend to eat while watching TV. And should I feel the urge I do have buttloads of yarn to knit or crochet. Also, we hardly ever see a TV commercial, so no worries about that triggering cravings.
Last night the kids were being obnoxious and I felt really wound up after getting them to bed. All the hallmarks of my usual trigger stress - yelling at them, feeling really pressured and fed up, and feeling worn out at the same time. I went ahead and deliberately just experienced the feelings, and I did survive and feel back to normal this morning.
Hell, I took an 8 week mindfulness class with this dude - I should probably go ahead and make use of all those skills. My problem is I tend to think that if I don’t have the opportunity to meditate formally for 20+ minutes a day, I “can’t do” my mindfulness and I just forget it all. This is a good reminder that that’s not true at all.
Well, then, why not do that? Set a rule for yourself that you are not going to eat alone. Stick to it as best you can. Even if you only end up sticking to it sometimes, you’re still eating fewer pints of ice cream than you were before.
Another vote for Weight Watchers. The plan works. One must simply have the willpower to work the plan, and I’m struggling with that. But I will succeed. 30 pounds gone, 20 more to go.
Instead of turning on the radio in the bathroom today, I left it off and took a mindful shower. I really do think that reincorporating mindfulness in my day will help me stop turning to food for soothing. I appreciate the reminder that mindfulness isn’t just meditation on a zafu! (Because I so don’t have room in my life for that right now.)
You know how it is when you’re out of practice - most time is spent realizing your mind has wandered to planning, worrying, or remembering, and dragging it back to focus on the sensations of the moment. Still, I was at least proud of myself.
I hardly ever find mindfulness exercises relaxing in themselves. It’s more that building a mindful habit of living helps me avoid accumulating stress. For instance, it’s impossible to feel rushed and panicked if you’re not focusing on where you have to be next. Also, getting into the habit of noticing my thoughts helps immensely in regulating the stressful ones.
