# Need answer fast!!!
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-answer-fast/425059
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [November 2, 2007, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-answer-fast/425059 "2007-11-02T21:05:29Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Flander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flander)
#### Post date: [November 2, 2007, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-answer-fast/425059/1 "2007-11-02T21:05:29Z")
Inspired by [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=9139047&posted=1#post9139047) great GQ thread title by **Just Some Guy** , I wanted to see what kind of other questions we could do along the same lines.
Example: “How do you swim? (need answer fast)” or "
The funniest one I could come up with on my own was:
“Tips to combat premature ejaculation. (need answer fast)”
😃
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### Author:  [@pinkfreud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkfreud)
#### Post date: [November 2, 2007, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-answer-fast/425059/2 "2007-11-02T21:11:58Z")
“Who wrote the 1951 novel _Spartacus_?”
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### Author:  [@Kuboydal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kuboydal)
#### Post date: [November 2, 2007, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-answer-fast/425059/3 "2007-11-02T21:19:04Z")
“How long do I wait to pull the ripcord?(need answer fast!)”
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### Author:  [@Flander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flander)
#### Post date: [November 2, 2007, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-answer-fast/425059/4 "2007-11-02T21:21:09Z")
[QUOTE=pinkfreud]
“Who wrote the 1951 novel _Spartacus_?”
[/QUOTE]
I did, because I am Spartacus.
Carry on.
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### Author:  [@Free\_Range\_Otter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Free_Range_Otter)
#### Post date: [November 2, 2007, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-answer-fast/425059/5 "2007-11-02T21:21:37Z")
“Do I cut the red wire or the blue wire?”
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### Author:  [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)
#### Post date: [November 2, 2007, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-answer-fast/425059/6 "2007-11-02T21:27:49Z")
“She just said she loves me.”
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### Author:  [@freckafree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freckafree)
#### Post date: [November 2, 2007, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-answer-fast/425059/7 "2007-11-02T21:30:20Z")
“How long do you wait between compressions when you’re doing CPR?”
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### Author:  [@askeptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/askeptic)
#### Post date: [November 2, 2007, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-answer-fast/425059/8 "2007-11-02T21:38:04Z")
What’s the best way to unlock a Pit Bull’s jaw? (Need answer fast)
What’s the best way to stop arterial bleeding? (Need answer fast)
How do you stop a charging bull? (Need answer fast)
Which pedal is the brake? (Need answer fast)
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### Author:  [@shamrock227](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shamrock227)
#### Post date: [November 2, 2007, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-answer-fast/425059/9 "2007-11-02T22:28:56Z")
How does this fire extinguisher work? (need answer fast)
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### Author:  [@Soul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soul)
#### Post date: [November 2, 2007, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-answer-fast/425059/10 "2007-11-02T23:25:17Z")
How do you say “Where is the men’s room?” in French? (Need answer fast)
What’s the best way to get a necktie out of a lathe? (Need answer fast)
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### Author:  [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)
#### Post date: [November 3, 2007, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-answer-fast/425059/11 "2007-11-03T00:18:12Z")
“What’s the best thing to say if a Turkish policeman finds a half-pound of heroin in your backpack? (need answer fast)”
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### Author:  [@CaerieD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CaerieD)
#### Post date: [November 3, 2007, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-answer-fast/425059/12 "2007-11-03T00:47:43Z")
Where is the clitoris? (need answer fast)
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### Author:  [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)
#### Post date: [November 3, 2007, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-answer-fast/425059/13 "2007-11-03T00:53:00Z")
“I have a plane and a treadmill. What now? (Need answer fast)”
“What does a yellow light mean? (Need answer fast)”
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### Author:  [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)
#### Post date: [November 3, 2007, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-answer-fast/425059/14 "2007-11-03T00:56:25Z")
I’ve taken the soufflé out of the oven, what next?
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### Author:  [@bbs2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bbs2k)
#### Post date: [November 3, 2007, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-answer-fast/425059/15 "2007-11-03T02:35:43Z")
The police say they have a warrant, but my place is kinda messy. Do I have time to clean up?
Halp!
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### Author:  [@SSG\_Schwartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSG_Schwartz)
#### Post date: [November 3, 2007, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-answer-fast/425059/16 "2007-11-03T02:51:00Z")
Can I fire and claim insanity? (need answer fast)
This mobster made me an offer he said I can’t refuse, can I renegotiate? (need answer fast)
SSG Schwartz
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### Author:  [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)
#### Post date: [November 4, 2007, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-answer-fast/425059/17 "2007-11-04T02:17:22Z")
This works pretty well with some of the actual threads on the board
Can suicide before trial preserve any ill-gotten gains? (need answer fast)
Why are there open container laws? (need answer fast)
How long could an African Lion survive in West Virginia? (need answer fast)
How much porn do you have? (need answer fast)
How did “Surrey with the Fringe on Top” get stuck in my head? (need answer fast)
How did you tell your partner/family that you were pregnant?? (need answer fast)
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### Author:  [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)
#### Post date: [November 4, 2007, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-answer-fast/425059/18 "2007-11-04T03:59:15Z")
[QUOTE=askeptic]
What’s the best way to unlock a Pit Bull’s jaw? (Need answer fast)
What’s the best way to stop arterial bleeding? (Need answer fast)
How do you stop a charging bull? (Need answer fast)
Which pedal is the brake? (Need answer fast)
[/QUOTE]
Cut through the temporo-mandibular muscle on both sides of the skull.
Direct pressure. If that doesn’t work, it will stop pretty soon on its own.
Take away his MasterCard.
If the second from the right (in a LHD car) doesn’t help, steer toward something soft or cheap. :eek:
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### Author:  [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)
#### Post date: [November 4, 2007, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-answer-fast/425059/19 "2007-11-04T04:10:57Z")
Any situation involving a [Wilhelm scream](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Willhelm_scream) probably needs an answer _real_ fast. 😉
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### Author:  [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)
#### Post date: [November 4, 2007, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-answer-fast/425059/20 "2007-11-04T04:48:25Z")
How long after a zombie bite does the victim “turn”? (need answer fast)
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