# Need colonoscopy jokes!! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 25, 2012, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-colonoscopy-jokes/638854 "2012-10-25T19:17:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2018, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-colonoscopy-jokes/638854/61 "2018-01-15T01:52:20Z")
OK folks - need more jokes! I’ve got my next procedure scheduled for 2 months from now. Lucky me, things have been improving with each one so it’s been nearly 3 years (and before that, it was 2 - contrasted with one year where I had 3 in a single year :eek:). This time, it’s north and south in one day. I sure hope they do the upper GI first :D. And another milestone: with this next scope, my total will finally exceed the number of sleep studies I’ve had. Until now they’ve been tied at 6 of each. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2018, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-colonoscopy-jokes/638854/62 "2018-01-15T02:05:17Z")
> [@Mama\_Zappa](#): > > OK folks - need more jokes! I’ve got my next procedure scheduled for 2 months from now. Lucky me, things have been improving with each one so it’s been nearly 3 years (and before that, it was 2 - contrasted with one year where I had 3 in a single year :eek:). > > This time, it’s north and south in one day. I sure hope they do the upper GI first :D. > > And another milestone: with this next scope, my total will finally exceed the number of sleep studies I’ve had. Until now they’ve been tied at 6 of each. Do you get a special bonus every twenty feet? Or at least a punchcard? ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2018, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-colonoscopy-jokes/638854/63 "2018-01-15T13:24:30Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > Do you get a special bonus every twenty feet? Or at least a punchcard? I’ve thought of that - to the point of semi-seriously looking at ordering cardstock, printing up a punch card, and bringing in a custom rubber stamp for them to tick off. I’ve certainly threatened to do it in the past! Any ideas for the graphic for the stamp? I thought of a line drawing of a toilet but maybe something else would be better? ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2018, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-colonoscopy-jokes/638854/64 "2018-01-15T15:12:34Z")
Mr. Hankey? ---
**Author:** ![Scribble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scribble/32/3317_2.png) [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2018, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-colonoscopy-jokes/638854/65 "2018-01-15T16:09:51Z")
So, you’re getting a colonoscopy? Well, up yours! Maybe the graphic on the card should be a simple brown (chocolate) starfish. Make the starfish really look like the sea creature. See if anyone gets the pun. ---
**Author:** ![Napier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Napier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Napier)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2018, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-colonoscopy-jokes/638854/66 "2018-01-16T23:14:45Z")
So, my doctor was inspecting my insides, with me awake, and he starts making conversation. Like it’s going to distract me and I won’t notice, I guess. “So, Napier, do you have any hobbies?” “Yes! I really enjoy not inserting things into my anus.” ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2018, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-colonoscopy-jokes/638854/67 "2018-01-16T23:55:52Z")
A guy asks his doc if the Propofol is working. The doc says “Well, you’ve asked me nine times, so, yes.” ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [January 18, 2018, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-colonoscopy-jokes/638854/68 "2018-01-18T21:48:23Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > Mr. Hankey? > [@Scribble](#): > > … starfish … Maybe a box of wipes? or a large version of :eek: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-colonoscopy-jokes/638854.md?page=3)