# Need gag "going to prison" gifts (funny, bizarre story of why included) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 28, 2013, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-gag-going-to-prison-gifts-funny-bizarre-story-of-why-included/669877 "2013-09-28T17:01:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![medstar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f07891/32.png) [@medstar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/medstar)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2013, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-gag-going-to-prison-gifts-funny-bizarre-story-of-why-included/669877/21 "2013-09-29T01:47:50Z")
How about a box of wine? Separate the silver packaging from the box portion and see if you can find a camping toilet you can put the bag of wine in. Prison Wine!!! ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2013, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-gag-going-to-prison-gifts-funny-bizarre-story-of-why-included/669877/22 "2013-09-29T01:53:08Z")
With Halloween stuff in stores now you should be able to find a prisoner costume and accessories. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2013, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-gag-going-to-prison-gifts-funny-bizarre-story-of-why-included/669877/23 "2013-09-29T02:01:27Z")
Bruce Willis’s watch from “Pulp Fiction.” ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2013, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-gag-going-to-prison-gifts-funny-bizarre-story-of-why-included/669877/24 "2013-09-29T02:34:00Z")
A pair of handcuffs for a charm bracelet. Several on ebay > **[charm bracelet handcuffs for sale | eBay](https://www.ebay.co.uk/sch/i.html?_nkw=charm%2Bbracelet%2Bhandcuffs&_armrs=1&_from=&_ipg=)** > > Find great deals on eBay for charm bracelet handcuffs. Shop with confidence. This look nice [http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Genuine-SOLID-925-Sterling-Silver-charm-bead-handcuffs-bondage-fits-bracelets-SS-/370888312173?pt=AU\_FashionJewellery&hash=item565aaa856d](http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Genuine-SOLID-925-Sterling-Silver-charm-bead-handcuffs-bondage-fits-bracelets-SS-/370888312173?pt=AU_FashionJewellery&hash=item565aaa856d) ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2013, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-gag-going-to-prison-gifts-funny-bizarre-story-of-why-included/669877/25 "2013-09-29T02:48:59Z")
They also do handcuff earrings. ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2013, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-gag-going-to-prison-gifts-funny-bizarre-story-of-why-included/669877/26 "2013-09-29T04:04:02Z")
An mp3 of “Prisoners Of Love” from “The Producers”. [Nonpariels](http://cdn.nuts.com/images/auto/510x340/assets/fb42e6660400fecc.jpg). I hear they’re like currency in the jug. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2013, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-gag-going-to-prison-gifts-funny-bizarre-story-of-why-included/669877/27 "2013-09-29T05:12:20Z")
> [@JustinC](#): > > This is THE funniest thread I’ve seen today. How about sending her a dvd of ‘Cool Hand Luke’? > [@Colibri](#): > > Plus: > > \*Midnight Express > Papillion > Escape from Alcatraz \* Also, _Stir Crazy_. ---
**Author:** ![Grumman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/43a26b/32.png) [@Grumman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grumman)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2013, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-gag-going-to-prison-gifts-funny-bizarre-story-of-why-included/669877/28 "2013-09-29T05:57:19Z")
I like the suggestion of a birthday cake with a file in it, but please don’t use any of the jokes about her getting raped. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2013, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-gag-going-to-prison-gifts-funny-bizarre-story-of-why-included/669877/29 "2013-09-29T06:38:34Z")
A harmonica for playing the blues A tin cup for rattling on the bars ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2013, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-gag-going-to-prison-gifts-funny-bizarre-story-of-why-included/669877/30 "2013-09-29T07:55:14Z")
A book on how to hand-tame birds. ---
**Author:** ![JustinC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justinc/32/8083_2.png) [@JustinC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JustinC)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2013, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-gag-going-to-prison-gifts-funny-bizarre-story-of-why-included/669877/31 "2013-09-29T15:44:29Z")
Make and take her a ‘Prison Pizza’. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2013, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-gag-going-to-prison-gifts-funny-bizarre-story-of-why-included/669877/32 "2013-09-29T15:57:12Z")
> [@TBG](#): > > Since when can you be prosecuted for opening and keeping a package that comes to your house unsolicited? I think there’s just enough technical hooks to hang a weak legal hassle upon, especially if the plaintiff insists. Misdelivery of a package does not constitute ownership. ---
**Author:** ![Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/bc8723/32.png) [@Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unauthorized_Cinnamon)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2013, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-gag-going-to-prison-gifts-funny-bizarre-story-of-why-included/669877/33 "2013-09-30T13:06:03Z")
> [@Grumman](#): > > I like the suggestion of a birthday cake with a file in it, but please don’t use any of the jokes about her getting raped. Yeah, I’m not really comfortable with the rape jokes (though I admit soap on a rope had leapt to my mind too at first). I’m definitely doing a cute birthday cupcake with obvious file sticking out, and a ball and chain or handcuffs if the Halloween store has cheap ones. Also, a temporary tattoo from the craft store. I’ll take pictures when I bring her the stuff and share them here! > [@Amateur\_Barbarian](#): > > I think there’s just enough technical hooks to hang a weak legal hassle upon, especially if the plaintiff insists. Misdelivery of a package does not constitute ownership. Yep, it seems that receiving a misdirected package and deliberately keeping it when you know its not for you can be a crime. From what the DA said, Pennsylvania has a lower mens rea requirement than NC. But in any case, I don’t see how the law can require you to spend your own money to send it back, as my friend did just to make the issue go away. I told her she should tell the lady it was ready any time she wanted to come pick it up! ---
**Author:** ![SmellMyWort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SmellMyWort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmellMyWort)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2013, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-gag-going-to-prison-gifts-funny-bizarre-story-of-why-included/669877/34 "2013-09-30T18:17:17Z")
Rita Hayworth poster and a small rock hammer. And send Auntie a bill. ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2013, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-gag-going-to-prison-gifts-funny-bizarre-story-of-why-included/669877/35 "2013-09-30T18:58:26Z")
Give her some oranges, ketchup packets, sugar, a towel, a large ziploc bag, and a printout of [this page](http://www.blacktable.com/gillin030901.htm). ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2013, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-gag-going-to-prison-gifts-funny-bizarre-story-of-why-included/669877/36 "2013-10-02T17:57:39Z")
> [@TBG](#): > > Since when can you be prosecuted for opening and keeping a package that comes to your house unsolicited? If it is addressed to a specific person, then it is not yours, even if it comes to your house. If it is addressed merely to your house number or “resident” or the like, then it is arguably yours. ---
**Author:** ![AnthonyElite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@AnthonyElite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnthonyElite)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2013, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-gag-going-to-prison-gifts-funny-bizarre-story-of-why-included/669877/37 "2013-10-02T18:16:15Z")
She should have burned the damn thing. The woman who was pressing charges is a nutjob. She should have burned the book and mailed the ashes. How could the law ever prove that she received it? BURN BABY BURN! 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![want2befree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/3e96dc/32.png) [@want2befree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/want2befree)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2013, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-gag-going-to-prison-gifts-funny-bizarre-story-of-why-included/669877/38 "2013-10-02T18:38:50Z")
Also a copy of the new Netflix series, Season 1 of Orange is the New Black. ---
**Author:** ![chappachula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d2c977/32.png) [@chappachula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chappachula)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2013, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-gag-going-to-prison-gifts-funny-bizarre-story-of-why-included/669877/39 "2013-10-02T18:55:39Z")
> [@Irishman](#): > > If it is addressed to a specific person, then it is not yours, even if it comes to your house… > [@AnthonyElite](#): > > She should have burned the damn thing. Okay, so the package is not yours. And I assume you cannot legally destroy it. But does the law require you to actively spend time and money to hunt down the true owner? Can the [del]nutcase[/del] owner demand that you buy a first class ticket , fly to her city, rent a car and return the package to her at her home? Do you have to take off work and lose a day’s salary to go to the post office (or stay at home and wait for the FedEx delivery guy) to help them rectify someone else’s mistake? Even the simplest solution in this case–just mailing it to the correct owner–will cost the unwilling recipient a little bit of money for the shipping. There must be legal precedents for cases like this. So I’m asking the legal beagle people here: what’s the letter of the law in a case like this? Let’s suppose, to make it more interesting, various scenarios: 1. the package is unmarked, and remains unopened, but contains a piece of jewelry worth $10,000. 2. the package is marked on the outside as being insured for $500, but remains unopened. 3. the package is unmarked, but the unwilling recipient opened it and it contains an old photograph of somebody’s family, with zero financial value, but great sentimental value. 4. the unwilling recipient is handicapped, confined to a wheelchair and unable to leave the house. ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2013, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-gag-going-to-prison-gifts-funny-bizarre-story-of-why-included/669877/40 "2013-10-02T19:02:24Z")
> [@chappachula](#): > > Okay, so the package is not yours. And I assume you cannot legally destroy it. But does the law require you to actively spend time and money to hunt down the true owner? > > Can the [del]nutcase[/del] owner demand that you buy a first class ticket , fly to her city, rent a car and return the package to her at her home? Do you have to take off work and lose a day’s salary to go to the post office (or stay at home and wait for the FedEx delivery guy) to help them rectify someone else’s mistake? > Even the simplest solution in this case–just mailing it to the correct owner–will cost the unwilling recipient a little bit of money for the shipping. > There must be legal precedents for cases like this. > So I’m asking the legal beagle people here: what’s the letter of the law in a case like this? > Let’s suppose, to make it more interesting, various scenarios: > > 1. the package is unmarked, and remains unopened, but contains a piece of jewelry worth $10,000. > 2. the package is marked on the outside as being insured for $500, but remains unopened. > 3. the package is unmarked, but the unwilling recipient opened it and it contains an old photograph of somebody’s family, with zero financial value, but great sentimental value. > 4. the unwilling recipient is handicapped, confined to a wheelchair and unable to leave the house. If it comes by USPS, write “no such person at this address” on the package, and give it back to the carrier. If it comes by UPS, Fedex, or the like, call them, tell them there’s no such person at this address, and they’ll come back to pick it up. (IME) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-gag-going-to-prison-gifts-funny-bizarre-story-of-why-included/669877.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-gag-going-to-prison-gifts-funny-bizarre-story-of-why-included/669877.md?page=3)