# Need gift advice for someone whose life is double plus ungood right now **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 1, 2017, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-gift-advice-for-someone-whose-life-is-double-plus-ungood-right-now/795218 "2017-09-01T02:22:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 7\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![romansperson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/romansperson/32/17100_2.png) [@romansperson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/romansperson)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2017, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-gift-advice-for-someone-whose-life-is-double-plus-ungood-right-now/795218/21 "2017-09-02T23:29:24Z")
> [@Quartz](#): > > Housecleaning sounds like a great idea. Maybe hire a hunk to do the yard work, mow the lawn, etc? šŸ™‚ Her husband died last night. Can we get another chorus of **FUCK CANCER**? He was only 56. Iā€™ve known both of them since before they knew each other. **Quartz** , a lawn service might be the ticket now, sadly. She has a house sheā€™ll probably have to sell sooner rather than later. Keeping up with everything will be overwhelming. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2017, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-gift-advice-for-someone-whose-life-is-double-plus-ungood-right-now/795218/22 "2017-09-02T23:53:18Z")
House cleaning. Laundry service. Car detailed. All kinds of drudgery that she has to try to do along with everything else. Spa days are for people who have free time. ---
**Author:** ![bobkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c67d28/32.png) [@bobkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobkitty)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2017, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-gift-advice-for-someone-whose-life-is-double-plus-ungood-right-now/795218/23 "2017-09-03T00:07:18Z")
ā˜¹ Fuck cancer. ---
**Author:** ![romansperson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/romansperson/32/17100_2.png) [@romansperson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/romansperson)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2017, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-gift-advice-for-someone-whose-life-is-double-plus-ungood-right-now/795218/24 "2017-09-03T00:17:23Z")
Iā€™ll be talking to her in the next couple days and will ask her if coming up for the funeral or waiting until later to help her with stuff after thatā€™s over will help her more. In my experience, funerals are ceremonies that everyoneā€™s there for, but the attention and concern tend to evaporate afterward. I know sheā€™s got some treatments for her own illness coming up, and thereā€™ll be other things to be taken care of as well. Iā€™d rather be useful to her than present for a formal ceremony, but Iā€™ll inquire about how sheā€™s feeling about that. ---
**Author:** ![purplehearingaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@purplehearingaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehearingaid)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2017, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-gift-advice-for-someone-whose-life-is-double-plus-ungood-right-now/795218/25 "2017-09-03T00:25:34Z")
Go take a FLYING FUCK CANCER ! I am so sorry to hear that your friendā€™s husband has dies . Could made a photos album of happier times for your friend or would this made her sadder ? ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2017, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-gift-advice-for-someone-whose-life-is-double-plus-ungood-right-now/795218/26 "2017-09-03T01:34:26Z")
> [@romansperson](#): > > Iā€™ll be talking to her in the next couple days and will ask her if coming up for the funeral or waiting until later to help her with stuff after thatā€™s over will help her more. > > In my experience, funerals are ceremonies that everyoneā€™s there for, but the attention and concern tend to evaporate afterward. I know sheā€™s got some treatments for her own illness coming up, and thereā€™ll be other things to be taken care of as well. Iā€™d rather be useful to her than present for a formal ceremony, but Iā€™ll inquire about how sheā€™s feeling about that. Oh my God. I am so sorry. Yes, stick with her. After my husband died, I was a complete wreck for a year and a moderate wreck for another year. People were surprised that I wasnā€™t ā€œover itā€ in about two months. I wanted to keep talking about him but others thought that was wrong and meant I was ā€œstuckā€ in my grief. Say his name. People stopped saying his name and it made me nuts. I guess they thought it would remind me-- like I could think of anything else. My husband has been gone for 17 years, and I still mention him and quote him just about every day. I am so so sorry. It hurts to read this. ā˜¹ ---
**Author:** ![romansperson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/romansperson/32/17100_2.png) [@romansperson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/romansperson)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2017, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-gift-advice-for-someone-whose-life-is-double-plus-ungood-right-now/795218/27 "2017-09-03T02:00:45Z")
This whole thing just makes me _angry_. Sheā€™s my sweetest, most wonderful friend. :mad: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-gift-advice-for-someone-whose-life-is-double-plus-ungood-right-now/795218.md?page=1)