# Need help reading between the aster\*\*ks **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 4, 2009, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-reading-between-the-aster-ks/498751 "2009-06-04T22:27:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2009, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-reading-between-the-aster-ks/498751/1 "2009-06-04T22:27:23Z")
My friend just emailed me: “Kevin is being a f\ ***ing a** e about it.” First I thought “asshole”, but why use the proper number of asterisk spaces for “fucking” but not “asshole”? Rather, I think it’s a swear word with the exact letters missing, but I’ve spent ten minutes trying to work this one out to no avail. Sure, I could ask him, but I don’t want to appear unhip. 🙂 And of course I can’t do a Boolean search. Anyone? ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2009, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-reading-between-the-aster-ks/498751/2 "2009-06-04T22:28:14Z")
Arse? ---
**Author:** ![Taipan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Taipan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taipan)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2009, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-reading-between-the-aster-ks/498751/3 "2009-06-04T22:28:36Z")
I’d guess it was arse. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2009, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-reading-between-the-aster-ks/498751/4 "2009-06-04T22:29:38Z")
So why would one word have the vowels asterick’d and one word the consonants? ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2009, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-reading-between-the-aster-ks/498751/5 "2009-06-04T22:42:11Z")
> [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](#): > > So why would one word have the vowels asterick’d and one word the consonants? What do you mean? One has “uck” asterisked, the other has “rs” asterisked. There’s no rule for what letters you asterisk. You can do “f\*\*\*” or “f **k" as you wish. I presume it’s "a** e” to make it easier to figure out, as “arse” is less common of a swear word than “fuck.” ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2009, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-reading-between-the-aster-ks/498751/6 "2009-06-04T22:58:46Z")
Arse! Now I feel stupid. Although I’m not sure why someone from Oregon would use that particular spelling… ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2009, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-reading-between-the-aster-ks/498751/7 "2009-06-04T22:59:23Z")
OK, I have to ask : why would your friend censor a private email from him to you ? Seems fuck\*\*g silly to me. ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2009, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-reading-between-the-aster-ks/498751/8 "2009-06-04T23:07:37Z")
Work address. ---
**Author:** ![tr0psn4j](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/958977/32.png) [@tr0psn4j](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tr0psn4j)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2009, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-reading-between-the-aster-ks/498751/9 "2009-06-04T23:08:58Z")
Shouldn’t it be f???ing a??e or f_ing a_e? The latter would have made guessing a little more fun I guess. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2009, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-reading-between-the-aster-ks/498751/10 "2009-06-04T23:10:31Z")
If your friend is from Oregon . . . my guess is “asshole,” and the number of asterisks is irrelevant. ---
**Author:** ![BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BellRungBookShut-CandleSnuffed)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2009, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-reading-between-the-aster-ks/498751/11 "2009-06-05T01:17:19Z")
Come to Homer’s BBBQ. The extra B is for BYOBB. What’s that extra B for? That’s a typo. ---
**Author:** ![Daylate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9dc877/32.png) [@Daylate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daylate)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2009, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-reading-between-the-aster-ks/498751/12 "2009-06-05T02:07:34Z")
A poem. Little Sally donned her skates, and on the ice did flit. Wasn’t she a silly goose, Her little \*. Sorry. Slithers back into the weeds, chuckling evilly. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2009, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-reading-between-the-aster-ks/498751/13 "2009-06-05T02:12:56Z")
Since the GQ answer to the question in the OP was given in the second post, I think moving this to MPSIMS will offer more flexibility for those inclined to riff on it. Moving from GQ to MPSIMS. Colibri General Questions Moderator ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2009, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-reading-between-the-aster-ks/498751/14 "2009-06-05T17:09:31Z")
Why bother with asterisks? Just say he’s fing shole. ---
**Author:** ![Ravenman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ravenman/32/2929_2.png) [@Ravenman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ravenman)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2009, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-reading-between-the-aster-ks/498751/15 "2009-06-05T17:15:05Z")
Well, my first reading of the title of the thread was, “Need help reading between the asterfucks.” ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2009, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-reading-between-the-aster-ks/498751/16 "2009-06-05T17:22:34Z")
> [@Ravenman](#): > > Well, my first reading of the title of the thread was, “Need help reading between the asterfucks.” That word… I must use it. And it will henceforth be my go to swear word. “Get your little asterfucks back here!” “What the asterfucks just happened?” Yes… it’ll do quite well. ---
**Author:** ![Rico](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rico/32/3582_2.png) [@Rico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rico)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2009, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-reading-between-the-aster-ks/498751/17 "2009-06-05T17:34:32Z")
> [@Daylate](#): > > A poem. > > Little Sally donned her skates, > and on the ice did flit. > > Wasn’t she a silly goose, > Her little \*. > Sorry. Slithers back into the weeds, chuckling evilly. \*\* clap clap clap clap \*\* ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2009, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-reading-between-the-aster-ks/498751/18 "2009-06-05T17:59:23Z")
> [@Daylate](#): > > A poem. > > Little Sally donned her skates, > and on the ice did flit. > > Wasn’t she a silly goose, > Her little \*. :smack: I read that and thought “Her little shit”? It rhymes, but it doesn’t make sense. Now I get it. ---
**Author:** ![BobArrgh](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bobarrgh/32/2881_2.png) [@BobArrgh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobArrgh)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2009, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-reading-between-the-aster-ks/498751/19 "2009-06-05T18:34:19Z")
Along the same lines, I am curious as to why the censors on TV always bleep out the word “hole” when used in conjunction with “ass”? I’ve always felt that “bleep-hole” is less offensive than “ass-bleep”. ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2009, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-reading-between-the-aster-ks/498751/20 "2009-06-05T18:52:22Z")
> [@BobArrgh](#): > > Along the same lines, I am curious as to why the censors on TV always bleep out the word “hole” when used in conjunction with “ass”? I’ve always felt that “bleep-hole” is less offensive than “ass-bleep”. The thing that gets me is that you can say ‘god’, and you can say ‘damn’, but putting the two together gets you bleeped… huh? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-reading-between-the-aster-ks/498751.md?page=2)