# Need Help. Silver Fire's Mom **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 15, 2000, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-silver-fires-mom/45804 "2000-12-15T21:18:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2000, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-silver-fires-mom/45804/1 "2000-12-15T21:18:10Z")
Since Silver is a stupid stubborn fuck. I’m starting this thread for her. Most of you should know the details of her mom. Here’s the problem. She’s forced to beg for her job back. Fuck that. She shouldn’t have to. The law should have it covered so she’s garaunteed a job on return. Same position, same pay. If people can help out with some information, helpfull advice, that would be great. And hopefully Silver will be in to fill in details, so I don’t look the complete fool ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2000, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-silver-fires-mom/45804/2 "2000-12-15T21:31:27Z")
Basically, scratchie has zero listening (reading?) skills. 😉 Okay, here it is. My mom left work on a medical/personal leave almost 120 days ago. She had 90 days medical leave and 30 days personal. Her time is almost up. She’s been on the phone all day with her supervisors really begging for her job back. She has been going on and on about how she loves her job and how she has been loyal to them for over 6 years. She was afraid that she wouldn’t get her job back. But, instead of ending on the 29th like we all thought, her leave ends on the 6th of January. So, in order to keep her former pay and position, my mom’s going back to work. There are two things wrong with this picture; 1) She won’t be ready. B) If she goes back to work that soon, she won’t be able to have the hysterectomy she needs. So, basically, my mom’s going to suffer for the sake of a job she _should_ be guaranteed anyway. I’m angry, so I’m going to stop posting now and go play Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 2 with my mom. (I’m teaching her how. She’s really not that bad.) (Is that what you wanted me to post, scratchie? Because that’s all you get.) 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![oldscratch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ed655f/32.png) [@oldscratch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/oldscratch)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2000, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-silver-fires-mom/45804/3 "2000-12-15T21:34:57Z")
And remember dear, the firebombing is a **standing** offer/ ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2000, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-silver-fires-mom/45804/4 "2000-12-15T22:12:42Z")
Silver, honey~ Get a lawyer, fast. Find one that specializes in labor relations, there are plenty around. I don’t think that this is legal, but I am no expert. And you NEED an expert. Any attorneys out there? MysterE, are you listening? Scotti ---
**Author:** ![zyzzyva](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@zyzzyva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zyzzyva)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2000, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-silver-fires-mom/45804/5 "2000-12-15T22:52:16Z")
Disclaimer: I work for a very large labor law firm (they represent employers). I’m not an attorney, so if any professionals wanna rip this apart, feel free. Unfortunately, it looks like the law is on the employer’s side on this one. Chances are about 99% certain that when your mom was hired, she had to sign a contract that bound her to the various practices and policies of the company. This contract was almost certainly drawn up by the company’s lawyers. As a result, any company policy that’s stated in the employee handbook is company law, and is fully backed by the legal system. (I’m not saying it’s _fair,_ just that it’s _legal_). Therefore, while it’s still a good idea to look into the legality of the case, chances are good that it won’t work and the best bet for your mom is to work up some kind of agreement with her employer. How long will it take for her to have her hysterectomy? How long until she’d be able to go back? Could she work until the time comes for the operation? Does the status of her job enable her to work part time or work at home or something? These are all things worth mentioning. Of course, her health comes first and foremost. This job, while important, is not more important than her life and well-being. If she’s forced to leave in order to have the operation and fully recover, she definitely should. Finally, you and your mom both have my fullest sympathies. _hugs tight_ ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2000, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-silver-fires-mom/45804/6 "2000-12-15T23:14:48Z")
Thanks, zyzz. I have almost NEVER been so disappointed to be wrong. OTOH, maybe if these people are as without heart as they sound, Silver’s mom would be better off finding someone NICE to work for. Worth thinking, about, Silver? Scotti ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2000, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-silver-fires-mom/45804/7 "2000-12-15T23:44:43Z")
What about the Family Medical Leave Act? That is nationwide, and she should be guaranteed twelve weeks of unpaid leave without losing her job or her benefits. With the company I work for, the twelve weeks is _per calendar year,_ not per twelve month period. If her company has it, and she’s out on it right now, and they go by the calendar year, she should get 12 more weeks starting January 1st. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2000, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-silver-fires-mom/45804/8 "2000-12-15T23:48:10Z")
See, I said this in chat. There’s probably nothing we can do as far as legal matters are concerned. I was almost 100% sure of that. My mom has made up her mind that she is going to put off having the hysterectomy until she can earn some PTO. She is definitely going back to work. Unreal. If she gets hurt, if she whines about being in pain even once, I’ll go nuts. So I decided that I’m going to try to get a position in a department of the casino that works closly with my mom’s department so I can keep an eye on her. ---
**Author:** ![zyzzyva](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@zyzzyva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zyzzyva)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2000, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-silver-fires-mom/45804/9 "2000-12-15T23:50:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Persephone \* > **What about the Family Medical Leave Act?** The FMLA only grants employees 12 weeks (60 days) off. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2000, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-silver-fires-mom/45804/10 "2000-12-15T23:50:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by oldscratch \* > \*\*Silver is a stupid stubborn fuck. \*\* How would _you_ know? ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2000, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-silver-fires-mom/45804/11 "2000-12-15T23:53:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Silver Fire \* > \*\*…she is going to put off having the hysterectomy until she can earn some PTO. \*\* PTO = Paid Time Off, for those of you that don’t know. And she says it will take her a month to get up enough hours to have the hysterectomy. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2000, 12:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-silver-fires-mom/45804/12 "2000-12-16T00:19:57Z")
Wow. Reading this thread has made me even MORE appreciative of the state operated health care system, and subsequent labour laws, in my country. Good luck, SF. All the best for you and your mother. ---
**Author:** ![MysterEcks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f475e1/32.png) [@MysterEcks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysterEcks)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2000, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-silver-fires-mom/45804/13 "2000-12-16T04:48:39Z")
**Silver Fire** , I’m sorry your mom is going through this. Maybe there’s something relevant under your state’s laws, but I’m afraid **zyzzyva** is probably right…and he’s dead on about the [FMLA](http://www4.law.cornell.edu/uscode/29/ch28.html#PC28). **Persephone’s** employer notwithstanding, the only requirement is for “a total of 12 workweeks of leave during any 12-month period[,]” not per calendar year. Further, the FMLA provides that an “employer may require the employee, to substitute any of the accrued paid vacation leave, personal leave, or family leave of the employee…for any part of the 12-week period…” In other words, it is not a grant of leave above and beyond what your mom has already taken. (This is all from Section 2612.) Sorry, Hon. I wish I had better news. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e4f/32.png) [@Silver\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Fire)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2000, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-silver-fires-mom/45804/14 "2000-12-16T05:03:15Z")
I know, MysterEcks. But maybe I’m just paranoid. I talked to my mom tonight about how I wasn’t comfortable with her going back to work so soon. I haven’t been open with her about my feelings since the day this whole thing started. I’ve been putting on my game face and playing tough. So she was very receptive when I finally came out tonight and told her exactly how I feel. She assured me that she feels like a million bucks and that she hasn’t felt this good in well over a year. She really thinks she can handle it. And she _does_ sound and look a lot better. And she’s laughing and smiling, which is something I haven’t seen from her in a long time. I also talked to my dad privately to ask him what he thought. He believes that she really does feel better. Also, putting the hysterectomy off for one month probably isn’t a big deal. The operation itself isn’t absolutely necessary, so it’s not life or death. The more I think about it and the more I look at her, the more I really believe she’s being honest. Maybe she really does feel better. Well, we’ll see anyway. Thanks, guys. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2000, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-silver-fires-mom/45804/15 "2000-12-16T05:32:58Z")
Even so, having a lawyer nosing about will often get results. Y’all scare folks. ---
**Author:** ![MysterEcks](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f475e1/32.png) [@MysterEcks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysterEcks)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2000, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-silver-fires-mom/45804/16 "2000-12-16T07:04:51Z")
**dropzone** said: > [@](#): > > Even so, having a lawyer nosing about will often get results. Y’all scare folks. Yeah…except the result can be to scare the employer enough to fire the troublemaker. Don’t think that doesn’t happen, and don’t think the employer doesn’t get away with it. In an employer-employee relationship, you have to be very careful about calling in legal eagles.