# Need help with snarky closing salutations **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 9, 2024, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-with-snarky-closing-salutations/1005507 "2024-08-09T22:44:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![ArtBeforeScience](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@ArtBeforeScience](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArtBeforeScience)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2024, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-with-snarky-closing-salutations/1005507/1 "2024-08-09T22:44:03Z")
I have to write an email to someone I greatly dislike, and do it politely. I’d like a closing salutation that says “Now fuck off” but in more professional language. Victorian constructions like “I am your most humble and obedient servant” might do. “So long, you festering bog worm” lacks elegance. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2024, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-with-snarky-closing-salutations/1005507/2 "2024-08-09T22:46:28Z")
Well, “Bless your little heart”, always works. IMO ---
**Author:** ![Aspenglow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspenglow/32/76_2.png) [@Aspenglow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspenglow)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2024, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-with-snarky-closing-salutations/1005507/3 "2024-08-09T22:54:39Z")
“I can’t say what a pleasure it is to work with you. I really can’t.” ---
**Author:** ![Ulysses](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ulysses/32/16083_2.png) [@Ulysses](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ulysses)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2024, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-with-snarky-closing-salutations/1005507/4 "2024-08-09T22:58:37Z")
“Very truly yours” ---
**Author:** ![ArtBeforeScience](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@ArtBeforeScience](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ArtBeforeScience)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2024, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-with-snarky-closing-salutations/1005507/5 "2024-08-09T23:02:44Z")
Maybe “enjoy your evening” – which is something I’d use to close an exit interview with a bad boss as I walked away for the last time, free at last ---
**Author:** ![snowthx](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowthx/32/10660_2.png) [@snowthx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/snowthx)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2024, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-with-snarky-closing-salutations/1005507/6 "2024-08-09T23:46:36Z")
Regards, ArtBeforeScience Honestly, if this is a professional setting, I would refrain from the snark, or you may end-up in hot water. Remember, it’s not what you intended, but how it was received. ---
**Author:** ![Briny\_Deep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/briny_deep/32/17188_2.png) [@Briny\_Deep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Briny_Deep)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2024, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-with-snarky-closing-salutations/1005507/7 "2024-08-10T00:13:31Z")
> [@Aspenglow](#): > > “I can’t say what a pleasure it is to work with you. I really can’t.” [“And don’t think it hasn’t been a little slice of heaven. Because it hasn’t.”](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbcz3H7c3g0&6) ---
**Author:** ![PatrickLondon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/patricklondon/32/4422_2.png) [@PatrickLondon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatrickLondon)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2024, 7:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-with-snarky-closing-salutations/1005507/8 "2024-08-10T07:18:36Z")
“Please don’t feel obliged to reply”…? ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2024, 7:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-with-snarky-closing-salutations/1005507/9 "2024-08-10T07:49:33Z")
Remember: never type out words in an email that you wouldn’t want read aloud in a courtroom ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2024, 7:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-with-snarky-closing-salutations/1005507/10 "2024-08-10T07:59:32Z")
“I hope you have the day that you deserve.” * * * But in all seriousness: be the better person. This can only end up biting you in the ass. ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2024, 8:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-with-snarky-closing-salutations/1005507/11 "2024-08-10T08:23:39Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Well, “Bless your little heart”, always works. Honorable mention to this suggestion. But: > [@snowthx](#): > > if this is a professional setting, I would refrain from the snark, and > [@Slithy\_Tove](#): > > never type out words in an email that you wouldn’t want read aloud in a courtroom and > [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > in all seriousness: be the better person … are sadly most likely to be the best advice in the long run. It sucks not to vent one’s spleen to deserving targets. But thanks to Ann Landers/Eppie Lederer, my common-sense hero, I’ve mostly held back in life. You can imagine the snark, write it out in detail, but don’t send it. Never, ever have I ultimately regretted _not_ expressing the snark. When I have given in to the desire to give someone the lecture/snark criticism that they so richly deserved, I’ve invariably been sorry later. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2024, 8:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-with-snarky-closing-salutations/1005507/12 "2024-08-10T08:58:56Z")
Agree, it rarely works out to your benefit to bite the dog that bit you. They’ll turn on you, Everytime. ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2024, 9:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-with-snarky-closing-salutations/1005507/13 "2024-08-10T09:08:24Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Agree, it rarely works out to your benefit to bite the dog that bit you. They’ll turn on you, Everytime I don’t disagree, but the reason to bite back snark is not only due to personal “benefit” or the fact that “they’ll turn on you” if you express yourself. In my case, and perhaps others who have posted, it is more about, as @purplehorseshoe says, “being the better person.” ---
**Author:** ![chappachula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d2c977/32.png) [@chappachula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chappachula)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2024, 9:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-with-snarky-closing-salutations/1005507/14 "2024-08-10T09:28:00Z")
I think this is attributed to George Bernard Shaw: " Thank you for your correspondence. I am holding your letter in front of me, as I sit in the smallest room in the house. It will soon be behind me." But, yeah, as others have said above: be careful. Don’t write what you don’t want published in huge headlines… Email is forever. And it will come back to bite you . Think of all the celebs, etc who get fired for innocent snarky comments they made 25 years ago, which are now deemed racist or whatever. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2024, 9:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-with-snarky-closing-salutations/1005507/15 "2024-08-10T09:56:01Z")
> [@snowthx](#): > > Regards, > > ArtBeforeScience > > Honestly, if this is a professional setting, I would refrain from the snark, or you may end-up in hot water. Remember, it’s not what you intended, but how it was received. Years ago some work friends and I used to joke that “regards” was really calling someone “retards” because you could actually call them that and blame it on the auto-correct. warmest retards, msmith537 ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2024, 10:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-with-snarky-closing-salutations/1005507/16 "2024-08-10T10:05:21Z")
Start each word in the email with letters that spell out an insult e.g. Forever understanding choices kills obvious final farewells. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![PatrickLondon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/patricklondon/32/4422_2.png) [@PatrickLondon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatrickLondon)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2024, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-with-snarky-closing-salutations/1005507/17 "2024-08-10T10:56:09Z")
There is a tale that the famously terse PM Clem Attlee once replied to an extended letter from one of his party rebels about just where and how his government was going wrong, with a card saying “Your comments have been noted”. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2024, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-with-snarky-closing-salutations/1005507/18 "2024-08-10T12:38:49Z")
I get questions at work from the public. Mostly about addresses. It’s usually about a three sentence response. I used to use Regards, enipla I was rather shocked to find out that that can be insulting. Don’t understand why. Saying Thank You seems stupid since I’m doing the work, and helping them. I don’t know what to say anymore. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2024, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-with-snarky-closing-salutations/1005507/19 "2024-08-10T13:16:40Z")
> [@enipla](#): > > Saying Thank You seems stupid since I’m doing the work, and helping them. I don’t know what to say anymore. I had the same problem when I worked a corporate job. Some people auto-signed every email with, “Thank you,” which always rubbed me the wrong way. Gratitude is important, and those emails cheapen it. Anyway, my solution _unless I was expressing gratitude myself_ was to sign off with, “Cheers!” …had a couple folks ask if I was British LOL. ---
**Author:** ![Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/q.q.switcheroo/32/5713_2.png) [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.Q.Switcheroo)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2024, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-with-snarky-closing-salutations/1005507/20 "2024-08-10T13:50:39Z")
Cf. H.L. Mencken’s standard response to any opinionated letter: > Dear \*\*\*: You may be right. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-help-with-snarky-closing-salutations/1005507.md?page=2)