# Need horrible music for my Pledge Drive Crapfest!
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-horrible-music-for-my-pledge-drive-crapfest/535864
**Category:** Cafe Society
**Created:** [April 12, 2010, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-horrible-music-for-my-pledge-drive-crapfest/535864 "2010-04-12T18:42:32Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@DoctorJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DoctorJ)
#### Post date: [April 12, 2010, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-horrible-music-for-my-pledge-drive-crapfest/535864/1 "2010-04-12T18:42:32Z")
Tomorrow night is the pledge drive edition of my radio show, The Zen Arcade ([poorly updated blog here](http://www.thezenarcade.com)). Back in the fall I started a tradition: since my audience was more likely to respond to outright threat than to gentle persuasion, I promised to play the worst bilge imaginable until I had raised my goal. It was fun, and it got the dollars in, so I’m doing it again!
I thought I’d throw it out there and get some ideas for horrible music I can play. Really, nothing is too cruel. Here’s the Crapfest Playlist from the fall, to prime the pump.
> [@](#):
>
> New Kids on the Block - “You Got It (The Right Stuff)”
> Captain and Tennille - “Muskrat Love”
> A Taste of Honey - “Boogie Oogie Oogie”
> Charlene - “I’ve Never Been to Me”
> Starland Vocal Band - “Afternoon Delight”
> Starship - “We Built This City”
> Dionne Warwick, et. al. - “That’s What Friends are For”
> Paul Anka - “Smells Like Teen Spirit”
> Richard Harris - “MacArthur Park”
> Paper Lace - “The Night Chicago Died”
> Musical Youth - “Pass the Dutchie”
> Rupert Holmes - “Escape (The Pina Colada Song)”
> Falco - “Rock Me Amadeus”
> Michael Bolton - “Can I Touch You…There?”
> Kidz Bop Kids - “All the Small Things”
> William Shatner - “Lucy In the Sky With Diamonds”
> Leonard Nimoy - “Ruby (Don’t Take Your Love to Town)”
> Leonard Nimoy - “Both Sides Now”
> Paul Anka - “Wonderwall”
> Dan Fogelberg - “Longer”
> Kevin Federline - “Popozao”
> Crazy Frog - “Popcorn”
> Bryan Adams - “The Only Thing That Looks Good On Me is You”
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### Author:  [@GESancMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GESancMan)
#### Post date: [April 12, 2010, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-horrible-music-for-my-pledge-drive-crapfest/535864/2 "2010-04-12T18:45:22Z")
No Barry Mannilow on your list? Really, anything by him would do.
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### Author:  [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)
#### Post date: [April 12, 2010, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-horrible-music-for-my-pledge-drive-crapfest/535864/3 "2010-04-12T18:46:25Z")
If you’re playing Nimoy, how could you neglect “Highly Illogical” and “The Ballad of Bolbo Baggins”?
And you can’t go right with anything by the Osmonds.
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### Author:  [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)
#### Post date: [April 12, 2010, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-horrible-music-for-my-pledge-drive-crapfest/535864/4 "2010-04-12T18:46:52Z")
You need at least one song by the king of autotune, T.Pain. Actually, if you made your songlist ALL songs heavy on autotune, that might solve your problem right there. 🙂
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### Author:  [@Alpha\_Twit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alpha_Twit)
#### Post date: [April 12, 2010, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-horrible-music-for-my-pledge-drive-crapfest/535864/5 "2010-04-12T18:49:13Z")
Anything from the “Golden Throats” (Look it up on Wikipedia) series would work but “Try A Little Tenderness” by Jack “just the facts” Webb should not be missed.
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### Author:  [@amarinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarinth)
#### Post date: [April 12, 2010, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-horrible-music-for-my-pledge-drive-crapfest/535864/6 "2010-04-12T19:05:57Z")
“Don’t tell my heart, my achy breaky heart” until they pay to hear it stop.
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### Author:  [@MTCicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MTCicero)
#### Post date: [April 12, 2010, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-horrible-music-for-my-pledge-drive-crapfest/535864/7 "2010-04-12T19:15:34Z")
Aerosmith - “I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing”
Rascal Flatts - “Skin”
Toby Keith - “Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue (The Angry American)”
Kid Rock - “All Summer Long”
Kenny Chesney - “She Thinks My Tractor’s Sexy”
Michael W. Smith - “Lord I Give You My Heart”
Poison - “Nothin’ But a Good Time”
Jonas Brothers - “Burnin’ Up”
The Decemberists - “O Valencia!”
Jewel - “You Were Meant For Me”
Trace Adkins - “Honky Tonk Badonkadonk”
Train - “Meet Virginia”
Five For Fighting - “Superman”
Blessid Union of Souls - “Hey Leonardo (She Likes Me For Me)”
4 Non Blondes - “What’s Up?”
Bon Jovi - “It’s My Life”
Oy. I think I’ll stop there for now.
ETA: Okay, how could I forget this li’l audio butt nugget? 3 Doors Down - “Kryptonite”
---
### Author:  [@koeeoaddi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koeeoaddi)
#### Post date: [April 12, 2010, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-horrible-music-for-my-pledge-drive-crapfest/535864/8 "2010-04-12T19:16:28Z")
How about threatening them with a whole Bobby Goldsboro set: _Little Things_, _Honey_, _Watching Scotty Grow_, _See the Funny Little Clown_?
Money should roll right in.
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### Author:  [@LonesomePolecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LonesomePolecat)
#### Post date: [April 12, 2010, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-horrible-music-for-my-pledge-drive-crapfest/535864/9 "2010-04-12T19:20:38Z")
“In the Year 2525,” by Zager and Evans
“Sugar Sugar,” by the Archies
“Yummy Yummy Yummy (I Got Love in My Tummy),” Ohio Express
“Green Tambourine,” the Lemon Pipers
Anything by Canned Heat
A second vote for “MacArthur Park” by Richard Harris. This is probably the single most hated song of the last half century.
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### Author:  [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)
#### Post date: [April 12, 2010, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-horrible-music-for-my-pledge-drive-crapfest/535864/10 "2010-04-12T19:21:35Z")
“Do the Swim” by Little Nell. Horribly, horribly abysmally bad.
Pop that sucker on repeat and move to the next county. You’ll hit your quota in no time.
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### Author:  [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)
#### Post date: [April 12, 2010, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-horrible-music-for-my-pledge-drive-crapfest/535864/11 "2010-04-12T19:23:17Z")
Styx, “Come Sail Away”? If you’ve seen the South Park episode where one of them can’t even bear to hear the opening notes of the song without compulsively having to sing the rest of the song through, this becomes an even more fun choice.
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### Author:  [@h.sapiens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/h.sapiens)
#### Post date: [April 12, 2010, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-horrible-music-for-my-pledge-drive-crapfest/535864/12 "2010-04-12T19:24:37Z")
Maybe something by the Shaggs. “Philosophy of the World” is a good choice.
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### Author:  [@LonesomePolecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LonesomePolecat)
#### Post date: [April 12, 2010, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-horrible-music-for-my-pledge-drive-crapfest/535864/13 "2010-04-12T19:25:34Z")
> [@koeeoaddi](#):
>
> How about threatening them with a whole Bobby Goldsboro set: _Little Things_, _Honey_, _Watching Scotty Grow_, _See the Funny Little Clown_?
>
> Money should roll right in.
Or how about a set of nothing but “Honey” by various singers? Like those listed in Wikipedia:
Ed Ames (1968)
Sandro (1968) (“Querida” - “Quiero llenarme de ti”, 1968)
Björn Ulvaeus (Swedish-language version called Raring, 1968)
Eddy Arnold (Romantic World of Eddy Arnold, 1968)
Percy Faith (Angel of the Morning-Hit Themes for Young Lovers, 1968)
David Houston (Already It’s Heaven, 1968)
John D. Loudermilk (Country Love Songs Plain and Simply Sung, 1968)
Charlie Louvin (Will You Visit Me on Sunday, 1968)
Roger Miller (A Tender Look at Love, 1968)
Jimmy C. Newman (Born to Love You, 1968)
Gary Puckett & The Union Gap (Young Girl, 1968)
Tammy Wynette (D-i-v-o-r-c-e, 1968)
Dean Martin (Gentle on My Mind, 1968)
Leon Ashley (Mental Journey, 1969)
Jack Greene (Love Takes Care of Me, 1969)
Hank Snow (Hits Covered by Snow, 1969)
Lynn Anderson (Big Girls Don’t Cry, 1971)
Orion (Reborn, 1978)
Jim Nabors (Country Side of Jim Nabors, 1994)
Roger Whittaker (Feelings, 1994)
Sil Austin (Great Sax, 1995)
Billy Joe Winghead (Precious Moments with Billy Joe Winghead, 2003)
Lawrence Welk (Upstairs at Larry’s: Lawrence Welk Uncorked, 2004)
Hana Zagorova (Hany, 1973)
Andy Williams (Honey, 1968)
Daniel O’Donell (From Daniel With Love, 2004)
Frankie Laine (Take me back to Laine Country, 1968)
That should leave 'em screaming for mercy. The Swedish language version would be a real treat. It could take the place of waterboarding.
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### Author:  [@Intergalactic\_Gladiator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Intergalactic_Gladiator)
#### Post date: [April 12, 2010, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-horrible-music-for-my-pledge-drive-crapfest/535864/14 "2010-04-12T19:30:17Z")
Mmmm Bop.
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### Author:  [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)
#### Post date: [April 12, 2010, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-horrible-music-for-my-pledge-drive-crapfest/535864/15 "2010-04-12T19:33:30Z")
Feelings…nothing more than Feelings…
Over and Oer and over again.
Or rotate with “You Light Up My Life”.
I’d put and icepick through my eardrum rather than listen than those ad nauseum.
StG
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### Author:  [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)
#### Post date: [April 12, 2010, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-horrible-music-for-my-pledge-drive-crapfest/535864/16 "2010-04-12T19:42:06Z")
Weird Al Yankovich’s parody of R. Kelly’s “Trapped in the Closet,” called “[Trapped in the Drive-Thru](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trapped_in_the_Drive-Thru).” Or maybe skip the comedic potential of that one and just go for the original. See how many chapters you can get through before people are begging for relief.
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### Author:  [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)
#### Post date: [April 12, 2010, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-horrible-music-for-my-pledge-drive-crapfest/535864/17 "2010-04-12T19:46:22Z")
Anything by Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons. How much whiny falsetto can you take before your thoughts turn to violence?
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### Author:  [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)
#### Post date: [April 12, 2010, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-horrible-music-for-my-pledge-drive-crapfest/535864/18 "2010-04-12T19:49:03Z")
C’mon - no one mentions Biz Markie’s “Just A Friend”? What kinda lame crapfest is this?
\*Oh you - you got what I need
But you say he’s just a friend
You say he’s just a friend
Oh darling, you, you got what I need. . . . \*
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### Author:  [@Blut\_Aus\_Nord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blut_Aus_Nord)
#### Post date: [April 12, 2010, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-horrible-music-for-my-pledge-drive-crapfest/535864/19 "2010-04-12T19:52:12Z")
The Residents - Duck Stab
Actually it’s a great album but I doubt most people would think so.
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### Author:  [@dangermom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dangermom)
#### Post date: [April 12, 2010, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-horrible-music-for-my-pledge-drive-crapfest/535864/20 "2010-04-12T19:54:56Z")
_Memory…all alone in the moonlight,
I can smile at the old days,
I was beautiful then…_
Ooh! Ooh! Bette Midler! The Rose! and Wind Beneath my Wings, but, The Rose!!
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