# Need horrible music for my Pledge Drive Crapfest! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 12, 2010, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-horrible-music-for-my-pledge-drive-crapfest/535864 "2010-04-12T18:42:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Bridget\_Burke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7cd45c/32.png) [@Bridget\_Burke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bridget_Burke)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-horrible-music-for-my-pledge-drive-crapfest/535864/61 "2010-04-13T13:33:57Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > There’s an idea - just play Christmas carols. There is nothing I hate more than relentless Christmas carols (at any time of the year). > > I’m going to look up a bunch of these songs and probably download them. 😃 Pa Rum Paa Paa Pum! ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-horrible-music-for-my-pledge-drive-crapfest/535864/62 "2010-04-13T13:53:01Z")
How about “The Last Song” by Edward Bear _This is the last song I’ll ever write for you This is the last time that I’ll tell you Just how much I really care_ ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-horrible-music-for-my-pledge-drive-crapfest/535864/63 "2010-04-13T14:03:51Z")
You’ve got to include at least one polka song in there, best of all one that starts off “yip, yip, yip, YIP-YEE!” and then descends into drunken Polish mumbling. Ah, the background music of visits to my grandparents’ house. If it’s too late to find one of those, [this](http://www.spike.com/video/chacarron-macarron/2706377) will bring down the house, or at least have your listeners incoherently babbling, lost in a world of insanity. “Chacarron. Chacarron. Chacarron.” ---
**Author:** ![Walloon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@Walloon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walloon)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-horrible-music-for-my-pledge-drive-crapfest/535864/64 "2010-04-13T14:28:12Z")
> [@DoctorJ](#): > > but since the station is webcast we can only play three songs in a row by any one artist. 😕 What does one have to do with the other? ---
**Author:** ![DoctorJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctorj/32/2904_2.png) [@DoctorJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DoctorJ)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-horrible-music-for-my-pledge-drive-crapfest/535864/65 "2010-04-13T14:37:36Z")
> [@Walloon](#): > > 😕 What does one have to do with the other? They made new rules for webcasts about a year ago. You can’t play more than three songs in a row from an artist or two from an album, you can’t announce your playlist in advance, and some other silly rules. Terrestrial radio is under no such restrictions. I used to play whole albums every now and then, and I still could if we didn’t have a web stream. ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-horrible-music-for-my-pledge-drive-crapfest/535864/66 "2010-04-13T15:16:19Z")
What, no mention of Banana Phone by Raffi yet? ---
**Author:** ![42fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/4/b487fb/32.png) [@42fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/42fish)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-horrible-music-for-my-pledge-drive-crapfest/535864/67 "2010-04-13T15:16:56Z")
> [@DfrntBreign](#): > > “Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves” - Cher Throw in “Half Breed” and “Dark Lady” for the complete Cher story-song trilogy Other possibilities that I think haven’t been mentioned: “Gimme Dat Ding” Pipkins “Undercover Angel” Alan O’Day “Lonely Boy” Andrew Gold “Telephone Man” Meri Wilson “Disco Duck” Rick Dees “Do The Clam” Elvis Presley [one of the many WTF? songs from his movie soundtracks] “The Candy Man” Sammy Davis, Jr. “Oh Babe, What Would You Say?” Hurricane Smith ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-horrible-music-for-my-pledge-drive-crapfest/535864/68 "2010-04-13T17:17:06Z")
Another absolute horror - Mac Davis’ “Rock And Roll I Gave You The Best Years Of My Life”. Paul Anka’s “You’re Having My Baby” needs a repeat endorsement. Michael Bolton - “Can I Touch You…There?” should be immediately followed by the Tubes’ “Don’t Touch Me There”\*. Virtually any disco will do. > [@melodyharmonius](#): > > Is it really bad that I love some of the songs y’all are posting here? Yes. Yes, it is. \*a good song, but still cringe-inducing. ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-horrible-music-for-my-pledge-drive-crapfest/535864/69 "2010-04-13T17:22:34Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > Michael Bolton - “Can I Touch You…There?” should be immediately followed by the Tubes’ “Don’t Touch Me There”\*. Followed by the DiVinyls “I Touch Myself” ? ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-horrible-music-for-my-pledge-drive-crapfest/535864/70 "2010-04-13T17:25:58Z")
Followed by “Wow, I can get sexual too” by Say Anything (“I called her on the phone and she touched herself”) Although that’s not a horrible song, even if I do give it too much credit by thinking it an intentional self-parody (the bands Cake and Say Anything both claim that most of their songs are not ironic, but they sing in a southern california surf punk accent in which everything sounds ironic, and their songs are so much better if you take them to be parodies even if they aren’t meant to me.) ---
**Author:** ![cjepson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a9adbd/32.png) [@cjepson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cjepson)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-horrible-music-for-my-pledge-drive-crapfest/535864/71 "2010-04-13T17:33:51Z")
A few I forgot yesterday… “Hey Babe Ya Wanna Boogie” by John Hartford. Anything by Tiny Tim. “Dark Globe” by Syd Barrett. (I actually love this song but most people would find it horrifyingly bad.) “Dogs Part Two” by The Who. Also, seconding Yoko Ono – especially “Don’t Worry Kyoko”… that piece is so painful that listening to it all the way through is actually something of a mind-altering experience. ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-horrible-music-for-my-pledge-drive-crapfest/535864/72 "2010-04-13T17:48:15Z")
you are going to tell us what songs you end up using, right? ---
**Author:** ![Khaki\_Campbell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Khaki\_Campbell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khaki_Campbell)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-horrible-music-for-my-pledge-drive-crapfest/535864/73 "2010-04-13T18:02:25Z")
Justin Bieber Merzbow ---
**Author:** ![WOOKINPANUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wookinpanub/32/132_2.png) [@WOOKINPANUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WOOKINPANUB)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-horrible-music-for-my-pledge-drive-crapfest/535864/74 "2010-04-13T18:14:47Z")
I too like the majority of the songs being suggested here.“Billy Don’t be A Hero”? What’s not to like! Surprisingly enough we just had a thread about the audio strychnine that is Train’s “Hey Sould Sister” and I didn’t see it mentioned so that’s my nomination. I’ll also throw in “Hey There Delilah” - Plain White Tees “Fireflies” - Owl City “Hey Leonardo” - Wretched Union of Souls “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” - Deep Blue Something ---
**Author:** ![beatlejuice](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a8b319/32.png) [@beatlejuice](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beatlejuice)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-horrible-music-for-my-pledge-drive-crapfest/535864/75 "2010-04-13T19:27:20Z")
> [@](#): > > ooh! Ooh! Bette midler! The rose! And wind beneath my wings, but, the rose!! seconded! ---
**Author:** ![GESancMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gesancman/32/2923_2.png) [@GESancMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GESancMan)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-horrible-music-for-my-pledge-drive-crapfest/535864/76 "2010-04-13T19:28:14Z")
> [@Shoeless](#): > > On the Frank Zappa album “Ship Arriving Too Late To Save A Drowning Witch” (the album that gave us “Valley Girl”) there is a song called “I Come From Nowhere” which is hilariously - and I assume intentionally - godawful to listen to. Then again, I suppose you could just play “Valley Girl” over and over. My first reaction to this post was 😕 that’s an awesome song! Then I thought about it from the perspective of a non-Zappa fan… yeah, I guess the vocals would be a bit off-putting. 🙂 The Zappa song I would nominate is “When Yuppies Go To Hell” from _Make A Jazz Noise Here_. It’s mainly improvised jazz noodling, complete with sampled voices saying “oh” and “ah”, or “go to hell”, or just screaming (one of which sounds suspiciously like Sam Kinison). And best of all, it goes on for fourteen glorious minutes. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-horrible-music-for-my-pledge-drive-crapfest/535864/77 "2010-04-13T19:34:41Z")
> [@cjepson](#): > > “Dark Globe” by Syd Barrett. (I actually love this song but most people would find it horrifyingly bad.) I can see why many people would dislike it even though I like it myself. But interestingly enough _I_ was going to suggest “If It’s In You” by Barrett which includes possibly the worst mis-take of a song ever which they decided to include in the track. In addition to having intentionally horrible singing and lyrics like you’re so close, yes you are please hold on to the steel rail I think it beats out Dark Globe because if you’re not listening closely you’ll just think it’s an extremely horrible song instead of just a sort-of-bad take of a song which was written poorly on purpose. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-horrible-music-for-my-pledge-drive-crapfest/535864/78 "2010-04-13T20:16:44Z")
How about “Several Species of Small Animals Gathered Together in a Cave and Grooving with a Pict” Watch the Non-Floyd fans claw their eyes out. ---
**Author:** ![Amber\_in\_Treasury](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bc79bd/32.png) [@Amber\_in\_Treasury](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amber_in_Treasury)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-horrible-music-for-my-pledge-drive-crapfest/535864/79 "2010-04-13T20:47:59Z")
How about some helium-voiced whingeing? James Blunt - “You’re Beautiful” Livingston - “Go”, “Broken”, or pretty much anything actually. Ugh. ---
**Author:** ![DoctorJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctorj/32/2904_2.png) [@DoctorJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DoctorJ)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-horrible-music-for-my-pledge-drive-crapfest/535864/80 "2010-04-13T23:01:01Z")
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