# Need ideas for a clever sign **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 12, 2014, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-ideas-for-a-clever-sign/681180 "2014-02-12T19:29:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2014, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-ideas-for-a-clever-sign/681180/1 "2014-02-12T19:29:07Z")
I share an office with another guy. We’re both smart, and we both work on reporting a lot (among other things). We are the answer guys when someone needs to know “why does this report show this number, it doesn’t seem right to me,” and we are the guys they come to when they need a new report. So I want to post a sign outside our office, where the previous person had a metal nameplate, with some clever reference to who we are and what we do. Think 8-1/2 x 11 paper in landscape mode. Ideas? Roddy ---
**Author:** ![Oakminster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/77aa72/32.png) [@Oakminster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oakminster)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2014, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-ideas-for-a-clever-sign/681180/2 "2014-02-12T20:53:49Z")
Go with the classics…\*\*Monty Python and the Holy Grail: \*\* \*Bridgekeeper: Hee hee heh. Stop. What… is your name? King Arthur: It is ‘Arthur’, King of the Britons. Bridgekeeper: What… is your quest? King Arthur: To seek the Holy Grail. Bridgekeeper: What… is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow? King Arthur: What do you mean? An African or European swallow? Bridgekeeper: Huh? I… I don’t know that. [he is thrown over] Bridgekeeper: Auuuuuuuugh. Sir Bedevere: How do know so much about swallows? King Arthur: Well, you have to know these things when you’re a king, you know. \* ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2014, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-ideas-for-a-clever-sign/681180/3 "2014-02-12T20:58:45Z")
Report Authority Any Report in a Storm The Answer Men Questionable Content? The Checkout Lane Woodward & Bernstein ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2014, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-ideas-for-a-clever-sign/681180/4 "2014-02-12T21:03:52Z")
The Wise Guys [![](http://www.thekickisgood.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/wiseguys610_250.jpg) ](http://www.thekickisgood.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/wiseguys610_250.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2014, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-ideas-for-a-clever-sign/681180/5 "2014-02-12T21:06:15Z")
Ooh, I thought about using Wise Guys already, so thanks for the link to the artwork. Roddy ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2014, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-ideas-for-a-clever-sign/681180/6 "2014-02-12T22:00:58Z")
I manage a droup like yours. We recently restacked our office, and my desk is right under a huge sign reading “Data Recycling Area”. I won’t let Facilities remove it! ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2014, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-ideas-for-a-clever-sign/681180/7 "2014-02-12T22:40:32Z")
“Mild-Mannered Report Guys” [![](http://eriklundegaard.com/media/2/clark-kent-fleischer.jpg) ](http://eriklundegaard.com/media/2/clark-kent-fleischer.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2014, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-ideas-for-a-clever-sign/681180/8 "2014-02-12T22:44:20Z")
Unauthorized Personnel Only If you belong here, get out. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2014, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-ideas-for-a-clever-sign/681180/9 "2014-02-12T22:52:17Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > “Mild-Mannered Report Guys” > > [http://eriklundegaard.com/media/2/clark-kent-fleischer.jpg](http://eriklundegaard.com/media/2/clark-kent-fleischer.jpg) [![](https://64.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5idq1pTbm1qi8jcb.jpg) ](https://64.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5idq1pTbm1qi8jcb.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2014, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-ideas-for-a-clever-sign/681180/10 "2014-02-12T23:11:13Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > [Tumblr: Image](http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5idq1pTbm1qi8jcb.jpg) Heh. One time I was a contestant on Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me, and when he asked me (on air) about my job, I didn’t want to try to explain what I do, so I just said “I work for a large metropolitan daily newspaper.” Fell completely flat. No-one, I guess, got the reference. Or maybe it’s just not amusing. (I was going to add “I also wear glasses, and I have an alter ego,” which was true at the time, but the opportunity did not arise.) Roddy ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2014, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-ideas-for-a-clever-sign/681180/11 "2014-02-13T00:25:29Z")
I’d go with the classics _The Wretched Hive of Scum and Villainy"_ ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2014, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-ideas-for-a-clever-sign/681180/12 "2014-02-13T00:34:37Z")
> [@Baker](#): > > I’d go with the classics > > _The Wretched Hive of Scum and Villainy"_ “(Line forms to the left.)” Roddy ---
**Author:** ![tapu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/49beb7/32.png) [@tapu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tapu)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2014, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-ideas-for-a-clever-sign/681180/13 "2014-02-13T00:49:28Z")
**Of course we know. What?** ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2014, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-ideas-for-a-clever-sign/681180/14 "2014-02-13T00:59:45Z")
I hold a similar position. I refer to myself as “Data Queen”. StG ---
**Author:** ![jonesj2205](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecc23a/32.png) [@jonesj2205](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jonesj2205)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2014, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-ideas-for-a-clever-sign/681180/15 "2014-02-13T01:03:30Z")
This Space For Rent Answers $1 Correct Answers $5 ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2014, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-ideas-for-a-clever-sign/681180/16 "2014-02-13T01:31:28Z")
Price & Waterhouse of Answers ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2014, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-ideas-for-a-clever-sign/681180/17 "2014-02-13T02:16:42Z")
Sign with no words, just an illustration. A jumble of scalene triangles. ---
**Author:** ![leftfield6](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leftfield6/32/18780_2.png) [@leftfield6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leftfield6)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2014, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-ideas-for-a-clever-sign/681180/18 "2014-02-13T02:38:52Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > Sign with no words, just an illustration. > > A jumble of scalene triangles. I have had it up to here with all of these scalene triangles. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2014, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-ideas-for-a-clever-sign/681180/19 "2014-02-13T03:44:36Z")
**Locuti** [![](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/a/a1/Picard_as_Locutus.jpg) ](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/a/a1/Picard_as_Locutus.jpg) **Your Data is our Data. Your lives as you have known them are now over. Resistance is futile. Submit!** ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2014, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-ideas-for-a-clever-sign/681180/20 "2014-02-13T04:27:09Z")
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