# Need ideas for a clever sign **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 12, 2014, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-ideas-for-a-clever-sign/681180 "2014-02-12T19:29:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2014, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-ideas-for-a-clever-sign/681180/21 "2014-02-13T04:34:38Z")
> [@StGermain](#): > > I hold a similar position. I refer to myself as “Data Queen”. > > StG I could, of course, refer to myself as a data queen, but not the other guy. His wife wouldn’t like it. [QUOTE=cmkeller] “Witty Reportee” [/QUOTE] This is very cute. There are several good ones here, so maybe I will make up a variety of signs, and post different ones based on how I feel that day. In recognition of the fact that the answers that people get often are not the ones they were hoping for, I am also considering “You can’t handle the truth!” although it might seem a bit confrontational. Roddy ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2014, 4:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-ideas-for-a-clever-sign/681180/22 "2014-02-13T04:36:05Z")
> [@leftfield6](#): > > I have had it up to here with all of these scalene triangles. I know there’s a thread on these but I haven’t been in it. I don’t even know what these are. Roddy ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2014, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-ideas-for-a-clever-sign/681180/23 "2014-02-13T04:51:49Z")
A co-worker and I called ourselves The Pro’s From Dover The reason being that people often wouldn’t listen to their own department, but when we swooped in, acting all wise and maybe a little cocky, they’d believe us. Recognize the reference? It’s from M_A_S\*H, the movie, when Hawkeye and Trapper (in their gaudy golf outfits) wheel an injured kid into Tokyo General Hospital: _“It’s okay, folks, we’re the Pro’s From Dover!”_ They took over an OR and saved the kid. ---
**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2014, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-ideas-for-a-clever-sign/681180/24 "2014-02-13T06:12:27Z")
> [@Baker](#): > > I’d go with the classics > > _The Wretched Hive of Scum and Villainy"_ Underneath that, put “Scum” with an arrow pointing to one of you, and “Villany” with an arrow to the other. Or include a small seating chart, with the words and arrows pointing to your positions. Then switch the words and arrows occasionally. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2014, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-ideas-for-a-clever-sign/681180/25 "2014-02-13T07:43:46Z")
[This](http://thumb10.shutterstock.com/display_pic_with_logo/234961/138447737/stock-photo-concept-of-multi-tasking-in-business-man-juggling-files-isolated-on-white-background-138447737.jpg) Or I guess you could go with Information Retrieval, or would you be Information Processing? (Brazil) ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2014, 7:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-ideas-for-a-clever-sign/681180/26 "2014-02-13T07:58:09Z")
Any report in a storm. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/22080_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2014, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-ideas-for-a-clever-sign/681180/27 "2014-02-13T11:25:20Z")
_“When Google fails, ask us”_ I dunno, it was funnier in my head. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2014, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-ideas-for-a-clever-sign/681180/28 "2014-02-13T12:52:11Z")
I stared at a sign on a friend’s cubicle wall for far too long recently. It was a red circle/slash “no” sign with an intentionally unrecognizable item portrayed within the circle. It was exasperating, then funny. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2014, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-ideas-for-a-clever-sign/681180/29 "2014-02-13T13:51:44Z")
We put the “smart” in “smartass” ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2014, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-ideas-for-a-clever-sign/681180/30 "2014-02-13T14:15:08Z")
Maybe something like [this](http://t2.ftcdn.net/jpg/00/26/74/43/400_F_26744352_eMyNuxNAt0AQkOLaRWCkiEy9A5kzKNkp.jpg) and the caption “CAVEMAN COMPUTING: counting rocks since 400,000 B.C.” ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2014, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-ideas-for-a-clever-sign/681180/31 "2014-02-13T14:49:42Z")
> [@Roderick\_Femm](#): > > I could, of course, refer to myself as a data queen, but not the other guy. His wife wouldn’t like it. > > This is very cute. > > There are several good ones here, so maybe I will make up a variety of signs, and post different ones based on how I feel that day. > > In recognition of the fact that the answers that people get often are not the ones they were hoping for, I am also considering > > “You can’t handle the truth!” > > although it might seem a bit confrontational. > Roddy How’s about \*\*Actually, we _can_ handle the truth \*\* ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2014, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-ideas-for-a-clever-sign/681180/32 "2014-02-13T17:41:36Z")
-Smart Answers for Dumb Questions -The Data Mine -Sadistical Analysis ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2014, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-ideas-for-a-clever-sign/681180/33 "2014-02-13T20:08:39Z")
I had a couple of thoughts myself, inspired by some of your replies. A wretched hive of scum and villainy ----\> Villainy Scum\<---- All Your Data Are Belong To Us Now Serving 42 and thanks for all the fish! Mild- Mannered Reporters (inquire within) (these are all better with the formatting and everything; I wish I knew how to “post” a Word document so you all could see them.) Keep them coming, I now realize I need a lot of variety. Roddy ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2014, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-ideas-for-a-clever-sign/681180/34 "2014-02-13T20:16:42Z")
Short and Simple: “Go Away” ---
**Author:** ![cormac262](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f14d63/32.png) [@cormac262](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cormac262)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2014, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-ideas-for-a-clever-sign/681180/35 "2014-02-13T21:01:36Z")
The Minority Reporters ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2014, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-ideas-for-a-clever-sign/681180/36 "2014-02-13T21:29:46Z")
I keep this poster up on my office wall: [Cluelessness](http://www.despair.com/cluelessness.html). ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/22080_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2014, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-ideas-for-a-clever-sign/681180/37 "2014-02-13T21:35:59Z")
I used to have a sign outside my cubicle that read “Working engineer - stand in awe!” Naturally, people would stand by my cube and go\* “Awwwwwwwwww!” \* Anyway, you could try a variation on that. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2014, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-ideas-for-a-clever-sign/681180/38 "2014-02-13T23:15:50Z")
Garbage In, Compost Out. ---
**Author:** ![runningdude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e9c0ed/32.png) [@runningdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/runningdude)\ **Post date:** [February 13, 2014, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-ideas-for-a-clever-sign/681180/39 "2014-02-13T23:46:21Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > **Locuti** > > [http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/a/a1/Picard\_as\_Locutus.jpg](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/a/a1/Picard_as_Locutus.jpg) > > **Your Data is our Data. > Your lives as you have known them are now over. > Resistance is futile. > Submit!** [https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/0/03/Aybabtu.png](https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/0/03/Aybabtu.png) “All your report are belong to us!” ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2014, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-ideas-for-a-clever-sign/681180/40 "2014-02-14T00:16:38Z")
How about a nod to **The Phantom Tollbooth** with a “You Are Here” arrow at the Sea of Knowledge or Conclusions? [![](http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-i5N2GTqM-hk/TpiLK-OObRI/AAAAAAAAA0I/eEVmQcxS-JI/s1600/Tollbooth-3.JPG) ](http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-i5N2GTqM-hk/TpiLK-OObRI/AAAAAAAAA0I/eEVmQcxS-JI/s1600/Tollbooth-3.JPG) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-ideas-for-a-clever-sign/681180.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-ideas-for-a-clever-sign/681180.md?page=3)