# Need some tacky lawn ideas - or help me irritate my neighbors... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 14, 2002, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-some-tacky-lawn-ideas-or-help-me-irritate-my-neighbors/123868 "2002-08-14T17:03:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2002, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-some-tacky-lawn-ideas-or-help-me-irritate-my-neighbors/123868/41 "2002-08-15T15:20:31Z")
And did I mention all of these gnomes (hundreds!) should be silently facing the one neighbor who’s pissing you off the most? Bonus points if you can get them to hold matches… ---
**Author:** ![ratatoskK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ratatoskk/32/2987_2.png) [@ratatoskK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ratatoskK)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2002, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-some-tacky-lawn-ideas-or-help-me-irritate-my-neighbors/123868/42 "2002-08-15T15:22:42Z")
I think the whole point of this is that neighbor X says that Poysyn’s lawn Y is unsightly. Rather than prove them right by making it worse, you should attack THEIR lawn, and then call the town about THEM. I love the ideas posted earlier about spelling various things on THEIR lawn with fertilizer or Roundup. Another advantage is that it’s cheap. p.s. If I had any gnomes I’d send them to you, but all I have is a green glass “gazing ball” that my ex thought looked good… ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2002, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-some-tacky-lawn-ideas-or-help-me-irritate-my-neighbors/123868/43 "2002-08-15T17:54:50Z")
Gnomes again but… Very late at night (3 am?) go out and move the gnomes just a little. Map out a path for them to follow over your yard. As people stop and look disgusted they will subconciously know it is a little bit different and it will be VVC to them. ---
**Author:** ![ratatoskK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ratatoskk/32/2987_2.png) [@ratatoskK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ratatoskK)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2002, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-some-tacky-lawn-ideas-or-help-me-irritate-my-neighbors/123868/44 "2002-08-15T18:09:53Z")
How about this… Turn the gnomes into fountains and make it look like they’re pissing on a picture of your neighbor! ---
**Author:** ![Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ccd318/32.png) [@Paul\_in\_Qatar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paul_in_Qatar)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2002, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-some-tacky-lawn-ideas-or-help-me-irritate-my-neighbors/123868/45 "2002-08-15T19:32:31Z")
One year I had twelve pink flaningos pulling Santa’s sliegh. My wife made me take it down after a few days. The villages stil point at me when I go to the market. ---
**Author:** ![Tiburon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e36b37/32.png) [@Tiburon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tiburon)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2002, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-some-tacky-lawn-ideas-or-help-me-irritate-my-neighbors/123868/46 "2002-08-15T21:40:54Z")
Apparently, dead kittens work well. Tibs. ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2002, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-some-tacky-lawn-ideas-or-help-me-irritate-my-neighbors/123868/47 "2002-08-15T22:18:46Z")
I once lived in a neighborhood where tacky was cool. Several houses had a few Disney dwarfs, a few had year round Christmas lights, but the queen… The Queen of them all had a plaster Jesus, done out in purple and green, complete with red bleeding heart. Around him were little sheep, made of wood and fleecy stuff. Five were white, and one was black. The sheep were way out of proportion to Jesus, like toy sheep. My brother stopped and took pictures on the day I moved out. He told the lady he was from People Magazine.😛 ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2002, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-some-tacky-lawn-ideas-or-help-me-irritate-my-neighbors/123868/48 "2002-08-15T23:41:23Z")
There’s a house right near the intersection of NH Rts 16 and 115 up north of Milan with an entire crowd of lawn gnomes and other statuary. Before every major (and several minor) holidays, they are attractively dressed for the occasion. For Thanksgiving they are dressed as pilgrams and Indians. For July 4th they are all waving flags and wearing red, white, and blue. I’ve seen them wearing yalmukes for the Rosh Hashonah, red hats for Christmas, etc, baseball caps for BoSox home opener. If you don’t have a lawnmower, you could always ask to borrow one from the nasty neighbors. This could even help defuse the situation a bit. But definately get the gnomes. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2002, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-some-tacky-lawn-ideas-or-help-me-irritate-my-neighbors/123868/49 "2002-08-15T23:45:54Z")
Whirl-a-gig flamingo [http://doityourself.com/store/6843189x24.htm](http://doityourself.com/store/6843189x24.htm) use lots of them ---
**Author:** ![techchick68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@techchick68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/techchick68)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2002, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-some-tacky-lawn-ideas-or-help-me-irritate-my-neighbors/123868/50 "2002-08-15T23:47:15Z")
Here’s another thought. How about those “life size” pictures on cardboard they have in stores of famous people. Elivira, the queen of the night pushing Coors Light. Micheal Jordan selling shoes. Arnold Sw…(can’t spell it) promoting his latest movie, etc… Hehe, that would be kind of fun! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/74df32/32.png) [@The\_Devil\_s\_Grandmother](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Devil_s_Grandmother)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2002, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-some-tacky-lawn-ideas-or-help-me-irritate-my-neighbors/123868/51 "2002-08-15T23:57:32Z")
Regretfully, most of these really cool suggestions cost money, and Poysyn said s/he’s out of a job at the moment. If you live in America, election season is very soon. Talk to your neighbors, find out their politics and get the free signs from the opposition. This will drive them nuts. I know because the neighbors at my last house had “Yes on Proposition 22” signs in their yard, which gave me an extra moment of cranky every freakin’ night when I came home. FYI, not to hyjack, Prop 22 was the “Knight Initiative”, which would have banned gay marriage in California. ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-some-tacky-lawn-ideas-or-help-me-irritate-my-neighbors/123868/52 "2002-08-16T03:55:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Poysyn \* > \*\*As yes…send out the alarm - > **Send me your tacky lawn stuff** > > Nothing is too weird or kitchy for me!!! > > Email me and I’ll send you an address to ship to. > > Thanks so much 🙂 \*\* Sorry, babe; no way are you getting any of my collection of flamigoes; MY neighbors would be bereft. I love this neighborhood. ---
**Author:** ![Poysyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Poysyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Poysyn)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-some-tacky-lawn-ideas-or-help-me-irritate-my-neighbors/123868/53 "2002-08-16T13:54:51Z")
Oh, do NOT send me your stuff if it will be to the detriment of your own neighbourhood visual! I still love ya! ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-some-tacky-lawn-ideas-or-help-me-irritate-my-neighbors/123868/54 "2002-08-16T15:58:05Z")
[www.orientaltrading.com](http://www.orientaltrading.com) Your one stop source for all your pink flamingo needs. Pink flamingos that light up even! Pink flamingos at reasonable prices. Plus other assorted tackiness. ---
**Author:** ![justwannano](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7ab992/32.png) [@justwannano](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/justwannano)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-some-tacky-lawn-ideas-or-help-me-irritate-my-neighbors/123868/55 "2002-08-16T17:14:19Z")
Start collecting junk lawnmowers. It shows your good intentions.Right???smirk Then get a bottle of roundup and kill the greenery along the property line. Install a cheap 1’ high picket fence along the property line and install a beware of dog,or maybe gnomes or better yet a keep out sign. Start a hedge. Or maybe go with that early Ozarks look and make your fence out of pallets. A few chickens might be a nice touch. ---
**Author:** ![GrizzRich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ba0ec/32.png) [@GrizzRich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrizzRich)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-some-tacky-lawn-ideas-or-help-me-irritate-my-neighbors/123868/56 "2002-08-16T17:32:33Z")
How about a “Porch Goose”. They’re all the rage here! Big ol’ cement goose on the front porch. People dress 'em up in all sorts of costumes depending on the season. In the past week I’ve seen geese dressed in bikinis and swimtrunks, as a farmer, Uncle Sam (leftover from July 4th!). Even geese dressed as other animals… rabbits, skunks, etc. I told my wife that I’d be glad to get a porch goose, but I’d dress it in a burqua. We’re both afraid that people around here would not only not find it funny, they wouldn’t even get the joke. ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-some-tacky-lawn-ideas-or-help-me-irritate-my-neighbors/123868/57 "2002-08-16T20:12:12Z")
How bout them geese dressed in huamn clothes? Put some out with bondage clothes on. ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-some-tacky-lawn-ideas-or-help-me-irritate-my-neighbors/123868/58 "2002-08-16T20:14:34Z")
great minds think alike I hadn’t even seen your post til after I posted ,Grizz. ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-some-tacky-lawn-ideas-or-help-me-irritate-my-neighbors/123868/59 "2002-08-16T20:30:50Z")
Probably real hard to get, and causing more trouble down the road than it’s worth: Kudzu. Plant it all around your house, just at the property line, so it’s continusly growing over onto their side. Since it’s **on** the line, it’s not really your responsiblity, and if it grows onto your side you can cut it off. I’m not sure where you live, so it might not grow so well. If you do want to grow it on your lawn, you could wait unti it gets big and thick enough, then put a big shark fin in the middle, or gnomes in safari dress with big fake knives and a little jeep, ect. ---
**Author:** ![cornflakes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@cornflakes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cornflakes)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-some-tacky-lawn-ideas-or-help-me-irritate-my-neighbors/123868/60 "2002-08-16T21:03:11Z")
How about [a genie?](http://www.austinchronicle.com/issues/annual/bestof/97/critics/arch.genie.gif) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-some-tacky-lawn-ideas-or-help-me-irritate-my-neighbors/123868.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-some-tacky-lawn-ideas-or-help-me-irritate-my-neighbors/123868.md?page=4)