# Need to know if you are knocked up? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 14, 2001, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-to-know-if-you-are-knocked-up/57913 "2001-03-14T05:40:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Tequila\_Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/41988e/32.png) [@Tequila\_Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tequila_Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2001, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-to-know-if-you-are-knocked-up/57913/1 "2001-03-14T05:40:06Z")
Are you Pregnant? Don’t know? Don’t want to go to the Piggly Wiggly to get a home test kit? Behold the power of the internet!!! [http://geocities.com/mypregnancytest/](http://geocities.com/mypregnancytest/) I got two negative results so far. Anyone who pops positive, let me know:) ---
**Author:** ![Mnementh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/898d66/32.png) [@Mnementh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mnementh)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2001, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-to-know-if-you-are-knocked-up/57913/2 "2001-03-14T05:56:43Z")
it came back negative twice, and then… tada, I’m pregnant! Apparantly, in the split second between the second and third times, I had fierce jungle sex and didnt realise it, and now will suffer the consequences. Said consequences being, namely, giving birth to a human child through a penis. Sounds like a whole new WORLD of pain… ---
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2001, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-to-know-if-you-are-knocked-up/57913/3 "2001-03-14T06:06:04Z")
OK, I got pregnant on the fourth try. It’s a girl! And lucky me, the father is my husband. Now, if only I _had_ a husband, that would be good news indeed. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2001, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-to-know-if-you-are-knocked-up/57913/4 "2001-03-14T06:06:53Z")
Pregnant on the first try. And I know who the mother is, too:D ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2001, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-to-know-if-you-are-knocked-up/57913/5 "2001-03-14T06:13:39Z")
Ack! My mother always said I was so fertile I only had to bump into a guy a sneeze to get knocked up but this is excessive! First Time! > [@](#): > > Yes, you’re in a family way, with a little one due to arrive sometime within the next nine months! > You can now look forward to: > > Not sleeping at night. > Changing diapers. > Canceling plans because you can’t find a babysitter. > Irritating other patrons at restaurants when your kids won’t behave. > Having no money because you have to spend it all on your children. > Saving up for your child’s college tuition. Well, duh. Doing that now. 🙂 It’s a boy and the father’s my boyfriend. (Well that narrowed it down, anyway…;)) ---
**Author:** ![Alonist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e68b1a/32.png) [@Alonist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alonist)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2001, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-to-know-if-you-are-knocked-up/57913/6 "2001-03-14T06:14:13Z")
No, the first time. Second time, Yahoo couldn’t find my page. So, I’m pretty sure I’m not pregnant. I’ve been having weird food cravings lately, though. ---
**Author:** ![Minty\_Rae](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/49beb7/32.png) [@Minty\_Rae](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Minty_Rae)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2001, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-to-know-if-you-are-knocked-up/57913/7 "2001-03-14T06:19:26Z")
Sigh. I clicked again and again, desperately seeking a different answer, but all for naught. Yes. I admit it. I’m pregnant. With a girl-child. Fathered by the mailman. Who happens to be a woman. Ye gods, is it any wonder I’m depressed? ---
**Author:** ![silent\_rob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@silent\_rob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silent_rob)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2001, 6:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-to-know-if-you-are-knocked-up/57913/8 "2001-03-14T06:46:03Z")
Okay, I got pregnant on the first try. I was surprised, to say the least. But I’m happy, cuz it’s a girl. What’s really upsetting me is that I am pregnant from my _HUSBAND_!! What’s that all about?! Has someone auctioned my virtue off on e-bay and I wasn’t even aware?? Oh dear… ---
**Author:** ![evilbeth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/evilbeth/32/2268_2.png) [@evilbeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/evilbeth)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2001, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-to-know-if-you-are-knocked-up/57913/9 "2001-03-14T08:11:51Z")
Yay! Apparently, I’m finally expecting! And it’s a girl! Unfortunately, the father is Boris Yeltsin!! (The vodka made me do it!) I guess that’s why hubby and I couldn’t conceive–I must have been waiting for some hot Russian love! ---
**Author:** ![Soda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@Soda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soda)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2001, 8:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-to-know-if-you-are-knocked-up/57913/10 "2001-03-14T08:21:22Z")
Negative on my first try. I was told that I should consider birth control. Apparently, that shot in my buttock was vitamins. Second try, I am expecting a girl. With my husband. I guess that shot really was vitamins… ---
**Author:** ![Lsura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@Lsura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lsura)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2001, 10:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-to-know-if-you-are-knocked-up/57913/11 "2001-03-14T10:01:58Z")
Oh thank God! I’m pregnant. And it’s a girl. Fathered by…Al Gore!!! :eek: (comment by the tester…So _that’s_ what they mean when they say he’s wooden!) Good thing I’ve had so much wild monkey sex in the last couple of months(read: none) so that this is a legitimate concern. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Palmyra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/57b2e6/32.png) [@Palmyra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Palmyra)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2001, 10:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-to-know-if-you-are-knocked-up/57913/12 "2001-03-14T10:29:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by iampunha \* > \*\*Pregnant on the first try. > > And I know who the mother is, too:D \*\* Come on, spill the beans. Who? 2nd try, got pregnant by Boris Yeltsin. And I don’t even _like_ vodka, hate it actually. ---
**Author:** ![brachyrhynchos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/brachyrhynchos/32/376_2.png) [@brachyrhynchos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brachyrhynchos)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2001, 11:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-to-know-if-you-are-knocked-up/57913/13 "2001-03-14T11:28:27Z")
Boris has been a busy boy - he got me too (on the second try). ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2001, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-to-know-if-you-are-knocked-up/57913/14 "2001-03-14T13:16:22Z")
Ye gads, I’m pregnant at 43. By my boyfriend, and I certainly DO hope my husband doesn’t find out. Fortunately, my boyfriend turned 18 last September, so there’s THAT little worry taken care of. I’m expecting a girl. What I can’t figure out is…how’d I get knocked up? It’s been almost a year since I’ve had a uterus and a pair of ovaries. I had them taken out last year on the 29th of March! ---
**Author:** ![Watermelon\_Man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/22d042/32.png) [@Watermelon\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Watermelon_Man)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2001, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-to-know-if-you-are-knocked-up/57913/15 "2001-03-14T13:22:25Z")
3 tries with no kid - just a warning that I should keep away from unprotected sex. 4th try and I am having a baby girl fathered by my husband. I wonder who my HUBBY might be, how he managed to sneak in the office at 3:00 pm -with everybody around - to knock me up, and what my wife will say when seh learns: 1. I have a hubby 2. He got me pregnant 3. Hi Opal, I am sending you 3 CD’s today! Life sure is full of little surprises ain’t it?? ---
**Author:** ![Kiki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dc4da7/32.png) [@Kiki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiki)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2001, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-to-know-if-you-are-knocked-up/57913/16 "2001-03-14T13:57:17Z")
I’m pregnant, it’s a girl, and the father is **Bill Clinton** :eek: How scary is that! ---
**Author:** ![Pucette](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/278dde/32.png) [@Pucette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pucette)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2001, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-to-know-if-you-are-knocked-up/57913/17 "2001-03-14T14:03:07Z")
First try - I’m pregnant with a girl, and my boyfriend’s the father… Should I tell Maeglin? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Shadowfox](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Shadowfox](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shadowfox)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2001, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-to-know-if-you-are-knocked-up/57913/18 "2001-03-14T15:01:48Z")
My momma was right, I really am a Fertile Myrtle. The very first click and I’m expecting a baby boy. I already have three of those at home though, so I was kind of hoping for another girl. However, the daddy is Bill Clinton. I really hope my husband doesn’t find out. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![lolagranola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ea5d25/32.png) [@lolagranola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lolagranola)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2001, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-to-know-if-you-are-knocked-up/57913/19 "2001-03-14T15:20:47Z")
On my second try, I found out that I’m going to be the mother of a beautiful bouncing baby girl. The father is my husband. I guess the vasectomy was faked. By the way, are we all supposed to send Opal three cds now? Is this a new tradition? ---
**Author:** ![Zumba\_The\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/779978/32.png) [@Zumba\_The\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zumba_The_Cat)\ **Post date:** [March 14, 2001, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-to-know-if-you-are-knocked-up/57913/20 "2001-03-14T15:23:48Z")
I am pregnant too. I am having a baby girl and the father is the mailman. I have never seen my mailman. I hope that he looks like my boyfriend so I can pass off the baby as his. My mom would be so proud. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/need-to-know-if-you-are-knocked-up/57913.md?page=2)