# Needed: Dumb/Sidekick Cops in Private Eye Fiction **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 12, 2005, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-dumb-sidekick-cops-in-private-eye-fiction/335211 "2005-12-12T03:40:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2005, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-dumb-sidekick-cops-in-private-eye-fiction/335211/1 "2005-12-12T03:40:55Z")
At least as far back as Inspector LEstrade in the Sherlock Holmes stories, mystery stories and novels about private detectives have usually featured a cop who was either 1. A complete dunce 2. A guy who provided helpful data to the detective, but couldn’t solve a case on his own if his life depended on it. How many such cops can you name? Among those who come to mind: Lestrade Inspector Japp in the Hercule Poirot stories Lionel T. Cramer in the Nero Wolfe stories Lieutenant Quirk, in the Spenser novels ---
**Author:** ![Cunctator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/43a26b/32.png) [@Cunctator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cunctator)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2005, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-dumb-sidekick-cops-in-private-eye-fiction/335211/2 "2005-12-12T04:14:38Z")
And don’t forget Inspector Tobias Gregson, Lestrade’s rival in _A Study in Scarlet_. > [@astorian](#): > > Inspector Japp in the Hercule Poirot stories Another Christean character was Inspector Slack. I think he featured (rather dimwittedly) in several of the Miss Marple novels. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2005, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-dumb-sidekick-cops-in-private-eye-fiction/335211/3 "2005-12-12T04:18:54Z")
> [@astorian](#): > > At least as far back as Inspector LEstrade in the Sherlock Holmes stories, mystery stories and novels about private detectives have usually featured a cop who was either > > 1. A complete dunce > 2. A guy who provided helpful data to the detective, but couldn’t solve a case on his own if his life depended on it. > . > . > . > Lieutenant Quirk, in the Spenser novels I assume you haven’t read the Spenser novels in depth. Quirk does not fit your criteria. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2005, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-dumb-sidekick-cops-in-private-eye-fiction/335211/4 "2005-12-12T04:37:27Z")
> [@astorian](#): > > At least as far back as Inspector LEstrade in the Sherlock Holmes stories, mystery stories and novels about private detectives have usually featured a cop who was either > > 1. A complete dunce > 2. A guy who provided helpful data to the detective, but couldn’t solve a case on his own if his life depended on it. > > How many such cops can you name? Among those who come to mind: > > Lestrade > Inspector Japp in the Hercule Poirot stories > Lionel T. Cramer in the Nero Wolfe stories > Lieutenant Quirk, in the Spenser novels [spenser geek] I don’t think Quirk counts as even remotely incompetent. On at least two occasions–Paper Doll and A Catskill Eagle–Quirk has to save Spenser from a mess he’s gotten himself into by working on his own; and in several other cases, Spenser complicates things by not being as forthcoming as he should; cf. Looking for Rachel Wallace, in which Quirk calls him on it. Usually Quirk isn’t involved in Spenser’s cases directly; rather, someone gets murdered in the course of the novel and Quirk, being homicide commander, gets involved and permits Spenser to keep investigating the original case because Spenser may shake a clue loose, or Spenser comes to Quirk or Belson for information he, as a civilian, lacks official access to. When Quirk is directly involved in the case from the beginning, it’s usually because he’s using Spenser as a catspaw: in The Godwulf Manuscript, for instance, Quirk’s investigation is being interfered with by his superiors, so he feeds Spenser information to allow the him to do what politics prevent him from doing. At other times, Quirk is acting as the supervisor of an investigative team in which he includes Spenser for political reasons. In Crimson Joy and Thin Air, Quirk brings Spenser in on the investigation for other reasons, but he is very clearly the person in charge (Spenser tacitly acknowledges it); Spenser simply happens to be the investigator on Quirk’s team whose assigned avenue bears fruit. It merely seems that Spenser is the best investigator in Quirk’s stable because we only hear about the cases Spenser is the key person in solving. If in Crimson Joy, for instance, the best avenue of investigation had been the one Belson was assigned, it would not have been a case Spenser would have told. [/spenser geek] ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2005, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-dumb-sidekick-cops-in-private-eye-fiction/335211/5 "2005-12-12T04:39:13Z")
> [@astorian](#): > > At least as far back as Inspector LEstrade in the Sherlock Holmes stories, mystery stories and novels about private detectives have usually featured a cop who was either > > 1. A complete dunce > 2. A guy who provided helpful data to the detective, but couldn’t solve a case on his own if his life depended on it. > > How many such cops can you name? Among those who come to mind: > > Lestrade > Inspector Japp in the Hercule Poirot stories > Lionel T. Cramer in the Nero Wolfe stories > Lieutenant Quirk, in the Spenser novels > [@astorian](#): > > At least as far back as Inspector LEstrade in the Sherlock Holmes stories, mystery stories and novels about private detectives have usually featured a cop who was either > > 1. A complete dunce > 2. A guy who provided helpful data to the detective, but couldn’t solve a case on his own if his life depended on it. > > How many such cops can you name? Among those who come to mind: > > Lestrade > Inspector Japp in the Hercule Poirot stories > Lionel T. Cramer in the Nero Wolfe stories > Lieutenant Quirk, in the Spenser novels [spenser geek] I don’t think Quirk counts as even remotely incompetent. On at least two occasions–Paper Doll and A Catskill Eagle–Quirk has to save Spenser from a mess he’s gotten himself into by working on his own; and in several other cases, Spenser complicates things by not being as forthcoming as he should; cf. Looking for Rachel Wallace, in which Quirk calls him on it. Usually Quirk isn’t involved in Spenser’s cases directly; rather, someone gets murdered in the course of the novel and Quirk, being homicide commander, gets involved and permits Spenser to keep investigating the original case because Spenser may shake a clue loose, or Spenser comes to Quirk or Belson for information he, as a civilian, lacks official access to. When Quirk is directly involved in the case from the beginning, it’s usually because he’s using Spenser as a catspaw: in The Godwulf Manuscript, for instance, Quirk’s investigation is being interfered with by his superiors, so he feeds Spenser information to allow the him to do what politics prevent him from doing. At other times, Quirk is acting as the supervisor of an investigative team in which he includes Spenser for political reasons. In Crimson Joy and Thin Air, Quirk brings Spenser in on the investigation for other reasons, but he is very clearly the person in charge (Spenser tacitly acknowledges it); Spenser simply happens to be the investigator on Quirk’s team whose assigned avenue bears fruit. It merely seems that Spenser is the best investigator in Quirk’s stable because we only hear about the cases Spenser is the key person in solving. If in Crimson Joy, for instance, the best avenue of investigation had been the one Belson was assigned, it would not have been a case Spenser would have told. [/spenser geek] ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2005, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-dumb-sidekick-cops-in-private-eye-fiction/335211/6 "2005-12-12T04:47:11Z")
Lieutenant Walt Levinson and Sergeant Otis fit the bill in _Richard Diamond, Private Detective_. (The radio version.) The Lieutenant mainly grumbles about how Diamond gives him ulcers and clutters up the town with bodies, and Sergeant Otis seems modeled on Lennie from _Of Mice and Men_, only surlier. He’s mainly there to give the protagonist someone to make cutting remarks to. Lietenant Levinson is a little more sympathetic though, there’s a sense that he envies the lack of restraint that Diamond enjoys, and sometimes conspires with Diamond to give folks who run afoul of the law a break, if the circumstances seem to warrant it. He’s saved Diamond’s bacon a few times, but I don’t recall him ever contributing anything towards actually cracking a case. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2005, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-dumb-sidekick-cops-in-private-eye-fiction/335211/7 "2005-12-12T14:05:18Z")
Detectives Dundy and Polhaus in **The Maltese Falcon**. Too busy trying to pin thing on Sam Spade to actually deal with the facts of the case. One is complete thick (Dundy, I think), while the other gives Spade the benefit of the doubt. Monsieur G----, Prefect of Police, in “The Purloined Letter,” predates Lestrade. Not very good at searching, is he? 😉 Commissioner Gordon and Chief O’Hara in the **Batman** TV show. I doubt O’Hara could find the Joker if he were standing two feet in front of him. It’s been awhile, but how good was Inspector Richard Queen in the Ellery Queen novels? ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2005, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-dumb-sidekick-cops-in-private-eye-fiction/335211/8 "2005-12-12T14:10:44Z")
Both Inspector Gadget & The Chief. were dumbells. Penny had the smarts. 😃