# Needed: Science Fiction and Fantasy Quotes **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 23, 2012, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-science-fiction-and-fantasy-quotes/635616 "2012-09-23T19:07:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Barking\_Dog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Barking\_Dog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barking_Dog)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2012, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-science-fiction-and-fantasy-quotes/635616/61 "2012-09-24T16:12:06Z")
“If chaos were lightning, then he’d be standing at the top of a hill in a thunderstorm, wearing copper armor and shouting, ‘All gods are bastards!’” ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2012, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-science-fiction-and-fantasy-quotes/635616/62 "2012-09-24T16:24:27Z")
“I ask the court one key question, would the Space Corps ever have allowed this man to be in a position of authority where he might endanger the entire crew. A man so petty and small minded that he would while away the evening sewing name labels onto his ship issue condoms. A man of such awesome stupidity, he even objects to his own defence counsel, an over zealous trumped up little squirt…… an incompetent vending machine repair man with a Napoleon complex… who had as much respect from his crew-members as long John Silver’s parrot. Who would permit this man, this joke of a man, this man who could not outwit a used tee-bag, to be in a position where he might endanger the entire crew… who …. Only a yoghurt! This man is not guilty of manslaughter, he is only guilty of being Arnold J Rimmer. That is his crime, it is also his punishment!” ---
**Author:** ![Scacarius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/48db29/32.png) [@Scacarius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scacarius)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2012, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-science-fiction-and-fantasy-quotes/635616/63 "2012-09-24T17:11:09Z")
Next day it snowed, and killed off half the crops–but it was a good day. ---
**Author:** ![Wilson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/96bed5/32.png) [@Wilson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wilson)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2012, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-science-fiction-and-fantasy-quotes/635616/64 "2012-09-24T17:19:15Z")
It’s a cookbook! Klaatu barada nikto. You listening, Bog? Is a computer one of Your creatures? So tomorrow we are heading up that Glory Road, rocks and all! Got any dragons you need killed? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2012, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-science-fiction-and-fantasy-quotes/635616/65 "2012-09-24T17:34:26Z")
“dn puǝ sıɥʇ.” -_Sign at the End of the Universe_ by Duane Ackerson. ---
**Author:** ![Gray\_Ghost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c0e974/32.png) [@Gray\_Ghost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gray_Ghost)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2012, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-science-fiction-and-fantasy-quotes/635616/66 "2012-09-24T17:43:22Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > “I ask the court one key question, would the Space Corps ever have allowed this man to be in a position of authority where he might endanger the entire crew. A man so petty and small minded that he would while away the evening sewing name labels onto his ship issue condoms. A man of such awesome stupidity, he even objects to his own defence counsel, an over zealous trumped up little squirt….. an incompetent vending machine repair man with a Napoleon complex… who had as much respect from his crew-members as long John Silver’s parrot. Who would permit this man, this joke of a man, this man who could not outwit a used tee-bag, to be in a position where he might endanger the entire crew.. who …. Only a yoghurt! This man is not guilty of manslaughter, he is only guilty of being Arnold J Rimmer. That is his crime, it is also his punishment!” I love it. Infinity welcomes careful drivers. “[Smoke me a kipper; I’ll be back for breakfast](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GeuYZEtgTHQ).” “What a guy!!” [Here’s three from John Campbell. From [this slashdot post](http://news.slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=24089&cid=2605961). I’d heard the first and last before, but not the middle one.]: “The basic rule of SF is: Set up a basic proposition–then develop its consistent, logical consequences.” "No literature is sound, no philosophy of action workable, if it doesn’t take a hard look at itself. " “Show me something that thinks as well as a man, but differently, and you’ve written a believable alien.” ---
**Author:** ![Archergal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c89c15/32.png) [@Archergal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Archergal)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2012, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-science-fiction-and-fantasy-quotes/635616/67 "2012-09-24T17:45:48Z")
In the beginning there was nothing, which exploded. My favorite Terry Pratchett quote. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![llcoolbj77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/eb9ed0/32.png) [@llcoolbj77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llcoolbj77)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2012, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-science-fiction-and-fantasy-quotes/635616/68 "2012-09-24T17:52:19Z")
I’ll be in my bunk. ---
**Author:** ![Toxgoddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f08c70/32.png) [@Toxgoddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toxgoddess)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2012, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-science-fiction-and-fantasy-quotes/635616/69 "2012-09-24T17:54:09Z")
Mostly harmless. ---
**Author:** ![Toxgoddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f08c70/32.png) [@Toxgoddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toxgoddess)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2012, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-science-fiction-and-fantasy-quotes/635616/70 "2012-09-24T18:06:46Z")
He shook his head in wonderment at the malevolent incompetence of the world. ---
**Author:** ![Toxgoddess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f08c70/32.png) [@Toxgoddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toxgoddess)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2012, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-science-fiction-and-fantasy-quotes/635616/71 "2012-09-24T18:17:49Z")
Few people realize the immensity in which the dust of the universe swims. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2012, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-science-fiction-and-fantasy-quotes/635616/72 "2012-09-24T18:19:31Z")
“It wasn’t enough that humans did something so difficult as learning to play a musical instrument. Then they had to do it in _groups_. While _walking around_. In _complicated patterns_. And then they competed with one another to do it even _better_. Excellence, this kind of excellence, could never have any sane economic justification. It had to be done for the honor of one’s country, or one’s people, or the glory of God. For the joy of being human.” _Diplomatic Immunity_ by Lois McMaster Bujold “Why does anyone want to go anywhere? Why did the bear go round the mountain? To see what he could see! I’ve never seen the Rings. That’s reason enough to go anywhere. The race has been doing it for all time. The dull ones stay home–and the bright ones stir around and try to see what trouble they can dig up. It’s the human pattern.” _The Rolling Stones_ by Robert Heinlein. The Princess looked at her more closely. “Tell me,” she resumed. “Are you of royal blood?” “Better than that, ma’am,” said Dorothy. “I came from Kansas.” _Ozma of Oz_ by L. Frank Baum. “Open your eyes, and then open your eyes again.” _The Wee Free Men_ by Terry Pratchett. “Teach? No,” said Granny. “Ain’t got the patience for teaching. But I might let you learn.” _Maskerade_ by Terry Pratchett. ---
**Author:** ![rjk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ed655f/32.png) [@rjk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjk)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2012, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-science-fiction-and-fantasy-quotes/635616/73 "2012-09-24T18:57:13Z")
“You must never run from anything immortal. It attracts their attention.” - Peter S. Beagle, _The Last unicorn_ “In his house at R’lyeh dead Cthulhu waits dreaming.” - Lovecraft “Please put some flowers on Algeron’s grave.” - Daniel Keyes ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2012, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-science-fiction-and-fantasy-quotes/635616/74 "2012-09-24T19:06:46Z")
The man gave a shrug which indicated that, although the world did indeed have many problems, this was one of them that was not his. “This is Lord Mountjoy Quickfang Winterforth IV, the hottest dragon in the city. It could burn your head clean off.” In fact, the mere act of opening the box will determine the state of the cat, although in this case there were three determinate states the cat could be in: these being Alive, Dead, and Bloody Furious. ---
**Author:** ![misling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3ab097/32.png) [@misling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/misling)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2012, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-science-fiction-and-fantasy-quotes/635616/75 "2012-09-24T20:06:30Z")
“The very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common - they don’t alter their views to fit the facts, they alter the facts to fit their views. Which can be uncomfortable if you happen to be one of the facts that needs altering.” ~The Doctor ---
**Author:** ![Quercus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/7ab992/32.png) [@Quercus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quercus)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2012, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-science-fiction-and-fantasy-quotes/635616/76 "2012-09-24T20:22:20Z")
> [@rjk](#): > > “In his house at R’lyeh dead Cthulhu waits dreaming.” - Lovecraft Better yet “Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn.” (It’s probably better if you don’t read that one out loud. Just in case…) ---
**Author:** ![sciurophobic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cab0a1/32.png) [@sciurophobic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sciurophobic)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2012, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-science-fiction-and-fantasy-quotes/635616/77 "2012-09-24T20:40:18Z")
Jane! Stop this crazy thing! ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2012, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-science-fiction-and-fantasy-quotes/635616/78 "2012-09-24T20:47:23Z")
Thou art god… Valentine Michael Smith ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2012, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-science-fiction-and-fantasy-quotes/635616/79 "2012-09-24T21:02:30Z")
OP, are you looking more for classic/famous quotes, or for witty ones? ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2012, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-science-fiction-and-fantasy-quotes/635616/80 "2012-09-24T21:10:11Z")
> [@Dendarii\_Dame](#): > > The Princess looked at her more closely. “Tell me,” she resumed. “Are you of royal blood?” > “Better than that, ma’am,” said Dorothy. “I came from Kansas.” _Ozma of Oz_ by L. Frank Baum. Oh I _ **like** _ this one! Now when folks make cracks about my home I’ll have a comeback for them.😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-science-fiction-and-fantasy-quotes/635616.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-science-fiction-and-fantasy-quotes/635616.md?page=5)