# Needed: some really filthy romance novels **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 4, 2010, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-some-really-filthy-romance-novels/562883 "2010-12-04T00:13:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Number](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/number/32/242_2.png) [@Number](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Number)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2010, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-some-really-filthy-romance-novels/562883/41 "2010-12-06T18:17:37Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Harold Robbins. Jackie Collins. Don’t forget the neglected works of Jacqueline Susann. You know, the giants. ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2010, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-some-really-filthy-romance-novels/562883/42 "2010-12-07T01:40:02Z")
As a woman who can’t stand “romance novels,” I will second the suggestion of Anne Rice’s (A.N. Roquelaure) Sleeping Beauty Trilogy. It makes for a nice boxed gift set. It’s explicit S&M, and both male and female, so it depends on what your girlfriend is looking for. I didn’t even know these kind of books existed until I read this set. They’re among some very few paperbacks I moved with me last summer. So if she’s exploring erotica and doesn’t care about leaving the cheesy romance stuff behind, get this set for her. If she wants her sexy novels in the form of traditional relationship development, then these aren’t for her. I’m kinda betting from your description that she will enjoy - and you will reap the benefits! ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Nader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Darth\_Nader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Nader)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2010, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-some-really-filthy-romance-novels/562883/43 "2010-12-07T04:54:17Z")
> [@SeaDragonTattoo](#): > > As a woman who can’t stand “romance novels,” I will second the suggestion of Anne Rice’s (A.N. Roquelaure) Sleeping Beauty Trilogy. Just for the fuck of it, how did you feel about my [other recommendation](http://www.fright.com/edge/santa_steps.htm)? Not romance, I’ve been informed. ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2010, 10:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-some-really-filthy-romance-novels/562883/44 "2010-12-07T10:17:43Z")
> [@Darth\_Nader](#): > > Just for the fuck of it, how did you feel about my [other recommendation](http://www.fright.com/edge/santa_steps.htm)? > > Not romance, I’ve been informed. That is something I would totally read. Too bad it’s not on Kindle right now, but I see the sequel is! I’m a fan of the twisted. I may just have to get the paper. ---
**Author:** ![Tristan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tristan/32/18058_2.png) [@Tristan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tristan)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2010, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-some-really-filthy-romance-novels/562883/45 "2010-12-07T21:04:40Z")
So, my “wife” likes to read, and I think she likes naughty stuff (though wouldn’t admit it), but is in no way going to try a romance novel. Or anything that is to romance novely. I would like to surprise her with a book that is a decent read, has really explicit sex, but isn’t just porn. She liked the Anita Blake books, but when they stopped having plot and just because furry sex fantasies, she lost interest. Anything I can pick up? (bonus: I like them too, so that works out well) ---
**Author:** ![Tara\_Maya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Tara\_Maya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tara_Maya)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2010, 7:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-some-really-filthy-romance-novels/562883/46 "2010-12-13T07:58:22Z")
For those who like salacious fantasy erotica, The Slave of the Goblin by Vashti Valant is quite naughty. ---
**Author:** ![TheWife](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@TheWife](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheWife)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2011, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-some-really-filthy-romance-novels/562883/47 "2011-04-28T07:19:22Z")
> [@Randy\_Seltzer](#): > > Bodice rippers are a guilty pleasure of my SO, but she’s often complained that the ones she finds are too tame. I thought: “Aha! Easy holiday present!” > > But looking through the shelves at Barnes & Noble, I have the same problem: even though Fabio’s on the cover, there’s not much steamy sex. The love scenes are vague, only one paragraph long, and only happen every hundred pages or so. I’d like to get her something really awful: the whole “his throbbing member was hard as iron but soft as velvet” thing every thirty pages. You know what I mean. > > I’m not sure about the distinction between “romance” and “erotica.” I don’t think she wants the latter, but I could be wrong. > > So help me out. I’ll take suggestions for specific authors or titles, tips on where to look, or suggestions for search terms. Okay, so this post is extremely old, and you’ve probably found a heck of a lot of ideas by now. But! If you really, really want bad books, want to know the worst of the worst? Do a search for “Uncle Walter’s Bad Romance Novel Quotes” or “Uncle Walter’s Bad Romance Novel Covers” – you can see which books have Fabio on the cover (or which are written by Fabio himself!) and you can get samples of them through the quotes. I would give you the links themselves, but I don’t want it to seem like I’m spamming. 'Cause I’m not – I’m genuinely trying to help answer your questions. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![NiceGuyJack](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/niceguyjack/32/3069_2.png) [@NiceGuyJack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NiceGuyJack)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2011, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-some-really-filthy-romance-novels/562883/48 "2011-04-28T11:15:17Z")
I’m surprised no one has mentioned Anaïs Nin, famous French lover of Henry Miller. [Delta of Venus](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Delta_of_Venus) and [Little Birds](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Little_Birds) are a collection of short stories with some pretty strong stuff. Although they are described as erotica, it was still from a feminine perspective. At least that was my impression. ---
**Author:** ![Randy\_Seltzer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ee7513/32.png) [@Randy\_Seltzer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Randy_Seltzer)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2011, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-some-really-filthy-romance-novels/562883/49 "2011-04-28T15:41:42Z")
I guess I can take this zombification as an opportunity to give an update. I ended up using the guidance above to pick out [Fascinated](http://www.amazon.com/Fascinated-Bertrice-Small/dp/0758246285/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1304004829&sr=1-1), which is a collection of four novellas, each by a different author. (Bertrice Small, Susan Johnson, Thea Devine, and Robin Schone.) When I gave it to her, my SO claimed it was an intimidatingly perfect gift. She read through it pretty quickly, and absolutely loved it. Thanks, y’all! ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2011, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-some-really-filthy-romance-novels/562883/50 "2011-04-28T16:03:34Z")
Try [_Brazen,_](http://www.susanjohnsonauthor.com/Book%20Covers/Books/brazen.html) by Susan Johnson. Has everything: Victorian-British setting with lotsa titles an stuff. An incredibly sexy hero – an American mostly-self-made multi-millionaire who sails around the world, doing business and having adventures, in a yacht crewed by beautiful women who are also his insatiable mistresses, most of whom joined the crew when he saved their lives. An aristocratic heroine (no blushing virgin, a mother of two in her thirties) who is amazingly self-willed and outspoke for a lady of her time. And no anatomical details spared. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2011, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-some-really-filthy-romance-novels/562883/51 "2011-05-01T21:11:11Z")
> [@pepperlandgirl](#): > > The romance genre has a few basic rules that keeps it distinct from other genres (including ones that are closely related to it like Women’s Fiction and erotica). Romance novels have two main plots, rather than a plot and a subplot. The relationship is the main focus of the book, but often, there’s some other sort of danger or intrigue going on that runs concurrent and is as important s the relationship. There are often complications and triangles, but it’s usually pretty clear who the main love interest is for the heroine. At the end, the two protagonists have declarations of love and the implication is happily-ever-after. In other words, in romance, it all works out in the end. I’ve **never** encountered a triangle in a genre romance novel. One of the lovers might have an ex who won’t go away or isn’t even quite ex yet, there might be someone in the story who makes one of the lovers jealous but it’s all a misunderstanding – but there is never a story where the reader has to guess at any point whether the heroine will end up united with John or Tom. From the first chapter, you know it’s going to be John. Seems to me romance writers could do a lot with that . . . but, for some reason, they don’t. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2011, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-some-really-filthy-romance-novels/562883/52 "2011-05-01T21:16:23Z")
On that note . . . I recall in Stephen King’s [_Misery_](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Misery_%28novel%29) (or, at least, in the film adaptation – I don’t recall if this was made clear in the book), Paul Sheldon had written a whole series of romance novels about one heroine, Misery Chastain, who had two rivals for her hand, and he kept the readers in suspense for years as to whom she would marry. Whatever that is, it **ain’t** genre romance. No triangles! Furthermore, ending a romance novel without the lovers united is like ending a mystery novel without revealing whodunit, it’s unthinkable. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2011, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-some-really-filthy-romance-novels/562883/53 "2011-05-01T21:20:39Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > Try [_Brazen,_](http://www.susanjohnsonauthor.com/Book%20Covers/Books/brazen.html) by Susan Johnson. Has everything: Victorian-British setting with lotsa titles an stuff. An incredibly sexy hero – an American mostly-self-made multi-millionaire who sails around the world, doing business and having adventures, in a yacht crewed by beautiful women who are also his insatiable mistresses, most of whom joined the crew when he saved their lives. An aristocratic heroine (no blushing virgin, a mother of two in her thirties) who is amazingly self-willed and outspoke for a lady of her time. And no anatomical details spared. In the end, of course – the concept of “spoilers” hardly applies to a romance novel – Kit Braddock pensions off his crew/harem and becomes the **faithful** husband of the Countess de Grae. I wonder if that’s the ultimate erotic fantasy to some women – not just to get such a superstud into your bed, but to make him all your own in a way no other woman could. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-some-really-filthy-romance-novels/562883.md?page=2)