# NEEDED: Some short, ridiculous Spanish phrases (think "hovercraft...eels") **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 3, 2010, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-some-short-ridiculous-spanish-phrases-think-hovercraft-eels/552533 "2010-09-03T20:49:42Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Randy\_Seltzer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ee7513/32.png) [@Randy\_Seltzer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Randy_Seltzer)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2010, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-some-short-ridiculous-spanish-phrases-think-hovercraft-eels/552533/1 "2010-09-03T20:49:42Z")
I don’t want to use an online translator because I want to be sure they’re grammatically correct. My friend is in Peru for a few weeks, and doesn’t speak Spanish. She’s checking her e-mail every couple of days, and I want to send her some funny phrases to try out while she’s down there. So. I need a few short phrases that are complete non-sequitors. Or that are inherently hilarious. Or that make clear the speaker has been misinformed. They should be 5-10 words long, so they can be easily memorized. If you don’t know Spanish, but have an idea, go ahead and post it, and I’m sure someone will be along to help us out. IDEAS SO FAR: [ul][_]\*\*“I had one (of them) too, but the wheel fell off.” \*\*\<-- might be too long[_] **“My hovercraft is full of eels.”** \<-- a little cliché, but that’s the idea **“Will you smear this on my buttocks?”** \<-- I don’t know. It might work.[/ul] Have any other good ideas? ---
**Author:** ![Valgard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/7feea3/32.png) [@Valgard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Valgard)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2010, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-some-short-ridiculous-spanish-phrases-think-hovercraft-eels/552533/2 "2010-09-03T21:32:41Z")
“iAy Dios mio! Hay una hacha en mi cabeza!” Oh my God, there’s an axe in my head! For some reason you can find a list of translations for this phrase in every language including Klingon floating around on the internet. ---
**Author:** ![It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/it_s_not_rocket_surgery/32/312_2.png) [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2010, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-some-short-ridiculous-spanish-phrases-think-hovercraft-eels/552533/3 "2010-09-03T21:32:54Z")
Officer! Hurry! The cheese is glowing in the barn! ---
**Author:** ![yams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/848f3c/32.png) [@yams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yams)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2010, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-some-short-ridiculous-spanish-phrases-think-hovercraft-eels/552533/4 "2010-09-03T21:40:42Z")
Si no hace bien trabajo, se enserrera acqui con los cucarachas, por dose semannas, sin agua, y sin comida! I don’t speak Spanish, so this might not be grammatically correct (or correctly spelled), but what I am trying to say is, “if you do a bad job, you will be locked here with the cockroaches for two weeks without food of water.” Points to anyone who knows the origin. Another good quote, if someone wanted to tranate it, is “I’m not afraid of you, I’ve got chunks of guys like you in my stool’” Double points for that one. Love yams!! ---
**Author:** ![Lucky\_13](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucky_13/32/13209_2.png) [@Lucky\_13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucky_13)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2010, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-some-short-ridiculous-spanish-phrases-think-hovercraft-eels/552533/5 "2010-09-03T22:03:16Z")
I remember this one from some stand-up comedy show I saw on TV years ago: “Hay dos chicas en mi cocina” - There are two girls in my kitchen. One they used to say on the old “Chespirito” show years ago, but I forget in what context: “No te arrugues, cuero viejo, que te quiero pa’ tambor” - Don’t wrinkle up, you old piece of leather, 'cause I want you for a drum. And then there’s the catchphrases of El Chapulin Colorado, an incompetent superhero: “No contaban con mi astucia!” - No one was counting on my cleverness! and “Siganme, los buenos!” - Follow me, good guys! My daughter says this makes too much sense, but to me it sounds funny when taken out of context. ---
**Author:** ![Electric\_Warrior](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@Electric\_Warrior](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electric_Warrior)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2010, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-some-short-ridiculous-spanish-phrases-think-hovercraft-eels/552533/6 "2010-09-03T23:00:14Z")
I wish I were feeling clever enough at the moment to think of some myself but I’m coming up empty. At least I can help out a fellow poster here… > [@yams](#): > > Si no hace bien trabajo, se enserrera acqui con los cucarachas, por dose semannas, sin agua, y sin comida! > > I don’t speak Spanish, so this might not be grammatically correct (or correctly spelled), but what I am trying to say is, “if you do a bad job, you will be locked here with the cockroaches for two weeks without food of water.” Points to anyone who knows the origin. The correct version should be (if I’m not mistaken) _Si no hace buen trabajo, se encerrará aquí con las cucarachas por dos semanas sin agua y sin comida_ Is the reference to _The Goonies_? ---
**Author:** ![figure9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@figure9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/figure9)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2010, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-some-short-ridiculous-spanish-phrases-think-hovercraft-eels/552533/7 "2010-09-03T23:05:46Z")
Mi tortuga no tiene pelo. My turtle does not have hair. ---
**Author:** ![11811](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/9d8465/32.png) [@11811](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/11811)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2010, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-some-short-ridiculous-spanish-phrases-think-hovercraft-eels/552533/8 "2010-09-03T23:20:34Z")
Por favor dile al camarero que me traiga mas creosota. Please tell the waiter to bring me more creosote. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2010, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-some-short-ridiculous-spanish-phrases-think-hovercraft-eels/552533/9 "2010-09-03T23:30:06Z")
Hay dos gatos en me pantalones! Da me el piano, por favor. ---
**Author:** ![Tortuga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c4cdca/32.png) [@Tortuga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tortuga)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2010, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-some-short-ridiculous-spanish-phrases-think-hovercraft-eels/552533/10 "2010-09-04T01:13:35Z")
El queso es viejo y putregado. ---
**Author:** ![Arrendajo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Arrendajo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arrendajo)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2010, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-some-short-ridiculous-spanish-phrases-think-hovercraft-eels/552533/11 "2010-09-04T01:30:39Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Hay dos gatos en me pantalones! ¡Qué buen suerte! Mi novia tiene solo un “gato” en sus pantalones. Qué me gusta tocar dos gatos por una vez. Por favor, no me moleste. Ya tengo una cucaracha. Don’t bother me. I already have a cockroach. Me duele el culo como la cabeza del mono. My ass hurts like a monkey’s head. Sigue me dedo con los ojos. Follow my finger with your eyes. ¿Sabe usted tocar la flauta, señor? Do you know how to play the flute, sir? That’s the best I can do off the top of my head at work. ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2010, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-some-short-ridiculous-spanish-phrases-think-hovercraft-eels/552533/12 "2010-09-04T01:31:17Z")
**Quiero una mochila grande del chocolate con crema.** _I want a large chocolate backpack with cream._ I actually said that during a skit for my HS Spanish class. I thought “mochila” was a kind of coffee drink. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2010, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-some-short-ridiculous-spanish-phrases-think-hovercraft-eels/552533/13 "2010-09-04T01:53:38Z")
Roam around omniglot a bit - plenty of odd stuff there like > **[Translations of My hovercraft is full of eels in many languages](https://www.omniglot.com/language/phrases/hovercraft.htm)** > > How to tell people that your hovercraft has been infested with eels in many different languages. ``` Mi aerodeslizador está lleno de anguilas ``` ---
**Author:** ![Pyper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Pyper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pyper)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2010, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-some-short-ridiculous-spanish-phrases-think-hovercraft-eels/552533/14 "2010-09-04T03:45:33Z")
A running joke I had in high school Spanish class: Me persiguen las ranas gigantes! The giant frogs are chasing me! Spanish homework frequently involved conjugating verbs and using them in sentences. I made sure the majority of my phrases included las ranas gigantes. ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2010, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-some-short-ridiculous-spanish-phrases-think-hovercraft-eels/552533/15 "2010-09-04T04:26:43Z")
I don’t know Spanish, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t know _any_ Spanish. I suspect that just about anyone knows the word “cucaracha” and will recognize it as a prank if the English translation doesn’t contain “cockroach”. cabeza = head pantalones = pants ojos = eyes señor = sir queso = cheese por favor = please cocina = kitchen etc. You need to either be wary of words that will likely be known to English speakers, or to work those into the translation. ---
**Author:** ![Electric\_Warrior](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@Electric\_Warrior](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electric_Warrior)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2010, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-some-short-ridiculous-spanish-phrases-think-hovercraft-eels/552533/16 "2010-09-04T05:05:02Z")
> [@Pyper](#): > > A running joke I had in high school Spanish class: > > Me persiguen las ranas gigantes! The giant frogs are chasing me! > > Spanish homework frequently involved conjugating verbs and using them in sentences. I made sure the majority of my phrases included las ranas gigantes. Hah, my 7th grade Spanish teacher taught us “Tengo cuerpos muertos en mi armario” (I have dead bodies in my closet) and so my best friend at the time and I always used los cuerpos muertos in our sentences. Yes, that was an interesting class… ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2010, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-some-short-ridiculous-spanish-phrases-think-hovercraft-eels/552533/17 "2010-09-04T06:53:40Z")
¡Aiiii, LOS DIOS MIOS! ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2010, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-some-short-ridiculous-spanish-phrases-think-hovercraft-eels/552533/18 "2010-09-04T07:14:19Z")
Tu madre ha comido las uvas mias. Your mother has eaten my grapes. Las ardillas conquistaran todo del mundo pronto. The squirrels will conquer all the world soon. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2010, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-some-short-ridiculous-spanish-phrases-think-hovercraft-eels/552533/19 "2010-09-04T15:17:14Z")
You could order breakfast like a colleague of mine did in Guatemala: Quiero dos jueves frias, por favor! (I’d like two cold Thursdays, please!) He meant to say “Quiero dos huevos fritos”, which is ‘two fried eggs’. ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2010, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-some-short-ridiculous-spanish-phrases-think-hovercraft-eels/552533/20 "2010-09-05T03:36:36Z")
Mis herramientos ya tienen bastante habanos. "My tools already have enough Havanas (that is, Cuban cigars). A mi hermana le gustan tus bacterias excelentes. “Your excellent bacteria pleases my sister.” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-some-short-ridiculous-spanish-phrases-think-hovercraft-eels/552533.md?page=2)