# NEEDED: Some short, ridiculous Spanish phrases (think "hovercraft...eels")

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-some-short-ridiculous-spanish-phrases-think-hovercraft-eels/552533>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [September 3, 2010, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-some-short-ridiculous-spanish-phrases-think-hovercraft-eels/552533 "2010-09-03T20:49:42Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 4\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![Yonose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/c67d28/32.png) [@Yonose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yonose)\
**Post date:** [September 10, 2010, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-some-short-ridiculous-spanish-phrases-think-hovercraft-eels/552533/41 "2010-09-10T18:32:29Z")

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\*Guacala \*  
or

_Guacatelas_

Literally, ew

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**Author:** ![Balthisar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/balthisar/32/2825_2.png) [@Balthisar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balthisar)\
**Post date:** [September 10, 2010, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-some-short-ridiculous-spanish-phrases-think-hovercraft-eels/552533/42 "2010-09-10T19:14:37Z")

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> [@VunderBob](#):
>
> > [@Chefguy](#):
> >
> > You could order breakfast like a colleague of mine did in Guatemala:
> > 
> > Quiero dos jueves frias, por favor! (I’d like two cold Thursdays, please!) He meant to say “Quiero dos huevos fritos”, which is ‘two fried eggs’.
> 
> Back when dinosaurs roamed the earth and I took high school Spanish, my teacher took great delight in warning us about stuff like this. His favorite example was ordering a glass of milk in a restaurant. If you asked the waitress “Tiene leche?”, the connotation was “Do you (personally) have milk?”, and you were asking her if she was breastfeeding.
> 
> The proper way was “Hay leche?”, “Is there milk?”

Ah, that reminds me of what a colleague did several years ago. He did have a minor speech impediment that probably helped in getting served a white tequila instead of butter. (blanc tequila? blanco-quila? – I wasn’t there that day, unfortunately.)

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**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\
**Post date:** [September 11, 2010, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-some-short-ridiculous-spanish-phrases-think-hovercraft-eels/552533/43 "2010-09-11T06:33:29Z")

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When someone asks you what you’d like to order, tell them, “Quiero un zapato con queso.” Put the stress on “un” (like uno, not the prefix un) so they know you only want one.

And, if there’s an awkward silence, break it by asking your companion, “¿Donde esta tu pantalones?”

Oh, and if you bump into someone accidentally, say “Pardoname, me rompí el culo.”

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**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\
**Post date:** [September 11, 2010, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/needed-some-short-ridiculous-spanish-phrases-think-hovercraft-eels/552533/44 "2010-09-11T13:33:05Z")

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> [@elfkin477](#):
>
> When someone asks you what you’d like to order, tell them, “Quiero un zapato con queso.” Put the stress on “un” (like uno, not the prefix un) so they know you only want one.

“I want a shoe with cheese.”

> [@elfkin477](#):
>
> And, if there’s an awkward silence, break it by asking your companion, “¿Donde esta tu pantalones?”

¿Dónde están tus pantalones?

“Where are your pants?”

> [@elfkin477](#):
>
> Oh, and if you bump into someone accidentally, say “Pardoname, me rompí el culo.”

Perdóname, me rompí el culo. (Perdóneme if you want to be more formal)

“Pardon me, I broke my butt.” (Literally, “Pardon me, I broke myself the butt.”)

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