# Negative Result On My Hiv Test!!! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 22, 2006, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/negative-result-on-my-hiv-test/381434 "2006-11-22T16:37:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2006, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/negative-result-on-my-hiv-test/381434/1 "2006-11-22T16:37:43Z")
I think the subject line says it all, but I’ll give a little background. Some months ago, an ex fuck-buddy of mine called me with the grim news that she’d tested positive for HIV. It had been better than three months since she and I were conjoined at the groin, but still we were worried, so I got tested. The first test was negative, but, as you know, there’s a window of possibility for false negatives, so 2 weeks ago – six months after the initial test – I took the test again. I got the results this morning, and, hallelujah, it was again negative. So as you might imagine I’m in a good mood. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2006, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/negative-result-on-my-hiv-test/381434/2 "2006-11-22T16:39:51Z")
Happy for you, man. That’s got to be a relief. :eek: Now get back out there, and be safe this time, K? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2006, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/negative-result-on-my-hiv-test/381434/3 "2006-11-22T16:41:12Z")
Next time, wrap your hot dog, before going to the fair, okee-doke? ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2006, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/negative-result-on-my-hiv-test/381434/4 "2006-11-22T16:44:08Z")
[QUOTE=Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor] Next time, wrap your hot dog, before going to the fair, okee-doke? [/QUOTE] Health-related advice from someone who’s admitted to training cobras to assassinate me? Miracles. They’re not just for 34th Street anymore. ---
**Author:** ![scareyfaerie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scareyfaerie/32/3135_2.png) [@scareyfaerie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scareyfaerie)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2006, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/negative-result-on-my-hiv-test/381434/5 "2006-11-22T16:45:28Z")
Is this the happy dance I see before me? Congrats! ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2006, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/negative-result-on-my-hiv-test/381434/6 "2006-11-22T16:45:48Z")
[QUOTE=Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor] Next time, wrap your hot dog, before going to the fair, okee-doke? [/QUOTE] Before you shag her, sheath your dagger. ---
**Author:** ![Mrs.Cake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2acd7d/32.png) [@Mrs.Cake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrs.Cake)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2006, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/negative-result-on-my-hiv-test/381434/7 "2006-11-22T16:51:24Z")
In celebration, you should take an indelible marker and draw a happy face on the the end of your tonker. Not only will it help remind you of your happy news every time you take him out, but it will be the sort of thing to keep you risk-free for months to come! Congrats - I had a similar episode back a couple years before I got married (actually the ex-girlfriend of a casual fuck-buddy started the scare, which turned out false for everyone, thank og) and I remember feelling relieved and happy for days. ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2006, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/negative-result-on-my-hiv-test/381434/8 "2006-11-22T16:53:30Z")
[QUOTE=Skald the Rhymer] Health-related advice from someone who’s admitted to training cobras to assassinate me? Miracles. They’re not just for 34th Street anymore. [/QUOTE] HEY BABY! When I go on the town, I keep my cobra wrapped in rubber. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2006, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/negative-result-on-my-hiv-test/381434/9 "2006-11-22T16:54:15Z")
No glove, no love. ---
**Author:** ![Improv\_Geek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b3f665/32.png) [@Improv\_Geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Improv_Geek)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2006, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/negative-result-on-my-hiv-test/381434/10 "2006-11-22T16:59:21Z")
Congrats man! I had a scare over scabies once and I remember the happiness at when it didn’t amount to anything, and HIV is about 100x bigger stuff - so major congrats. And look fellas, just remember - Don’t be a fool, wrap your tool. - IG ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2006, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/negative-result-on-my-hiv-test/381434/11 "2006-11-22T18:23:47Z")
Hood the one-eyed trouser snake next time, okay? And congratulations. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2006, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/negative-result-on-my-hiv-test/381434/12 "2006-11-22T18:28:00Z")
It’s a good feeling, isn’t it. I’ve been lucky enough to have been tested on two separate occasions, several years apart, and I remain negative. \* \*no, I’m not randy; I’m a nurse who has managed TWICE in 20 years to stick myself with a used needle from two different known HIV+ pts. Thank god we have needle-less systems now… ---
**Author:** ![Subway\_Prophet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecb155/32.png) [@Subway\_Prophet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Subway_Prophet)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2006, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/negative-result-on-my-hiv-test/381434/13 "2006-11-22T19:11:12Z")
Congratulations, **Skald**! That’s a huge relief, I know. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2006, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/negative-result-on-my-hiv-test/381434/14 "2006-11-22T19:22:42Z")
Congrats, **Skald**. What a relief. ---
**Author:** ![Li\_l\_Pluck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ee59a6/32.png) [@Li\_l\_Pluck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Li_l_Pluck)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2006, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/negative-result-on-my-hiv-test/381434/15 "2006-11-22T19:51:58Z")
I am sooooo very happy for you! Many congratulations, man! 🙂 Now, please take this in the spirit in which it’s meant (y’know, with me not knowing you and all, and I can’t think of a clever way of saying it like the others have): Please. Don’t. Ever. F—ing. Do. That. Again. I know it feels good–hell, it feels **great**!–but please try to take care of yourself, dude. Okay? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2006, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/negative-result-on-my-hiv-test/381434/16 "2006-11-22T19:52:06Z")
Hey **Skald,** congratulations on the test results, and good on you for going to get tested. A lot of people just assume, or they won’t get tested because that would mean they were sluts, or something. Me, my doc has me tested at every physical, because you just never know; safer sex is really effective, but not 100%. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2006, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/negative-result-on-my-hiv-test/381434/17 "2006-11-22T19:58:21Z")
Congrats, but don’t forget Before you attack her, cover your whacker. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2006, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/negative-result-on-my-hiv-test/381434/18 "2006-11-22T20:08:44Z")
Dude, that’s crazy. You must have been _shitting yourself_. Damn. Will you do another test in a year? ---
**Author:** ![Sonia\_Montdore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/90ced4/32.png) [@Sonia\_Montdore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sonia_Montdore)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2006, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/negative-result-on-my-hiv-test/381434/19 "2006-11-22T20:08:52Z")
Congratulations! And remember … Before you screw the sweetie, wrap up Mr. Meaty. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [November 22, 2006, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/negative-result-on-my-hiv-test/381434/20 "2006-11-22T20:13:11Z")
Congratulations! And remember: Before you, uh, fuck somebody, cover your dick. I guess I’m not the poetic type. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/negative-result-on-my-hiv-test/381434.md?page=2)