# Neighbor accusations **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 2, 2013, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neighbor-accusations/675308 "2013-12-02T20:19:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Blindsided](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ba9def/32.png) [@Blindsided](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blindsided)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2013, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neighbor-accusations/675308/21 "2013-12-02T23:25:21Z")
I will have to put that remote starter on my Xmas list! Will save me lots of hassle! I’m trying to deal with this as best as possible but I’m human too, and I feel anger and frustration like anyone else.(Maybe to show her an example of passive aggression I should park in her street side parking spot! lol) alright alright, back to being tolerant now 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2013, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neighbor-accusations/675308/22 "2013-12-03T00:05:08Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > I’ve never felt this board leans as far left as some people think. Yeah, not one person has suggested inviting her to a lesbian poetry slam at the Rainbow Gathering. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2013, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neighbor-accusations/675308/23 "2013-12-03T01:01:20Z")
Yeah, the people who call this board left leaning tend to have a pretty cartoonish idea of what that means. ---
**Author:** ![rsat3acr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a3d4f5/32.png) [@rsat3acr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rsat3acr)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2013, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neighbor-accusations/675308/24 "2013-12-03T01:04:19Z")
> [@bobot](#): > > Left winger here. Like, weather underground left. > Have you considered setting her house on fire? > > I kid, because it amuses me. Don’t burn houses down! thought bombings we more your style.😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tethered\_Kite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a5b964/32.png) [@Tethered\_Kite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tethered_Kite)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2013, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neighbor-accusations/675308/25 "2013-12-03T01:57:14Z")
> [@Blindsided](#): > > I feel like I try to be compassionate in regards to mental illness, however I have a right to feel/be safe and secure in my own home. Having said that it is my responsibility to establish and enforce healthy boundaries for myself especially on my own property. Some people would have reacted much worse had an erratic confrontational person come knocking on their door with obscenities. > > I went to talk to her personally because it is the neighborly thing to do. Whenever there is conflict I feel like the first step is trying to resolve the issue in a calm rational manner. A second reason I went to talk to her is because I was informed she was going door to door looking for me. (Another neighbor informed me of this) and finally if I’m going to be completely honest, I also felt deep diem that there HAD to be some sort of mistaken identity/misunderstanding. > > As am update-I went ahead and made that phone call to law enforcement. They took my name, address, contact info, her name, description, address, etc. as well as a brief statement on what happened. If I need it, the documentation will be there. Hopefully this is the end of it though Sounds like you’re doing what you can do to take care of the situation, **Blindsided.** Try not to take it too personally and let’s hope other days will bring new distractions for your neighbor. ---
**Author:** ![Tethered\_Kite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a5b964/32.png) [@Tethered\_Kite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tethered_Kite)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2013, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neighbor-accusations/675308/26 "2013-12-03T02:07:51Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > I’ve never felt this board leans as far left as some people think. C’mon. You’ve got to admit this board leans left. Apparently you lean very left. It’s okay with me. You gotta lean somewhere or you get tired. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![CarnalK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnalk/32/486_2.png) [@CarnalK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CarnalK)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2013, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neighbor-accusations/675308/27 "2013-12-03T02:18:16Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > I’ve never felt this board leans as far left as some people think. Which part of the political spectrum gets it’ s panties in a wad when someone talks to them when they don’t want to talk? I think that is the main bias around here. Lol. I think you’ve already gotten most of the good advice you need, op. If you have to interact with her furthur I find gentle but firm works best with the wakadoo neighbours. Gl ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2013, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neighbor-accusations/675308/28 "2013-12-03T03:12:33Z")
I’m sorry to hear you have a mentally ill neighbour who has YOU in their sights, **Blindsided**. We had a neighbour like that when I was in high school; she never injured anyone, but she could have easily done property damage with her stunts and the completely out-there stuff she did was very frightening at times. I don’t know if there is any good advice for this, except to document. Ignoring people like her doesn’t work, because she’s not basing her anger on reality. Escalating it doesn’t work, because you can’t out-crazy crazy. I hope she’s got it out of her system now, but after years of harassment and calling the police, our neighbour never stopped until we moved. ---
**Author:** ![Blindsided](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ba9def/32.png) [@Blindsided](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blindsided)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2013, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neighbor-accusations/675308/29 "2013-12-03T03:26:57Z")
Thanks everyone! Yes I just have to accept that I can’t ‘fix’ this. Hopefully she’ll stay away. If not I’ll just handle it without taking it personally like you said. Thanks again for understanding! If there are any updates I’ll post them…but let’s hope for no updates!������ ---
**Author:** ![lavenderviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cdc98d/32.png) [@lavenderviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lavenderviolet)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2013, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neighbor-accusations/675308/30 "2013-12-03T03:39:36Z")
You did the right thing by calling the cops to document the situation. I would definitely try to keep a low profile for a while. I would definitely recommend not confronting her or trying to “reason” with her at all. Remember, you cannot reason with someone whose brain is malfunctioning. Anything she sees you doing or saying is just going to feed into the paranoid delusions she has developed about you, even if you have good intentions. ---
**Author:** ![fruitbat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58f4c7/32.png) [@fruitbat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fruitbat)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2013, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neighbor-accusations/675308/31 "2013-12-03T03:49:46Z")
I have a lot of direct experience with someone experiencing mental illness and paranoia. Please do not engage with her. That may intensify whatever delusions she has about your role in her life. Contacting the police just to record the interaction is the right step at this time. ---
**Author:** ![Pork\_Rind](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pork_rind/32/111_2.png) [@Pork\_Rind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pork_Rind)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2013, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neighbor-accusations/675308/32 "2013-12-03T05:42:40Z")
You know, I know I’m a terrible person for thinking this, but what I’d really like you to do is wait for the next really frosty day and watch for her taking the cover off her car. Run out of your house, jump in your car and really tear-ass out of your parking spot. I mean a full smoky burn out, a couple of donuts and maybe even some horn honking. Also, please hold a giant checkered flag out of your window while doing all this. I mean, basically if you’ve ever seen the end of a NASCAR race, do that. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2013, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neighbor-accusations/675308/33 "2013-12-03T06:27:41Z")
As entertaining as that mind-picture is…😃 ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2013, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neighbor-accusations/675308/34 "2013-12-03T12:48:16Z")
> [@Blindsided](#): > > I feel like I try to be compassionate in regards to mental illness, however I have a right to feel/be safe and secure in my own home. Having said that it is my responsibility to establish and enforce healthy boundaries for myself especially on my own property. Some people would have reacted much worse had an erratic confrontational person come knocking on their door with obscenities. > > I went to talk to her personally because it is the neighborly thing to do. Whenever there is conflict I feel like the first step is trying to resolve the issue in a calm rational manner. A second reason I went to talk to her is because I was informed she was going door to door looking for me. (Another neighbor informed me of this) and finally if I’m going to be completely honest, I also felt deep diem that there HAD to be some sort of mistaken identity/misunderstanding. > > As am update-I went ahead and made that phone call to law enforcement. They took my name, address, contact info, her name, description, address, etc. as well as a brief statement on what happened. If I need it, the documentation will be there. Hopefully this is the end of it though Got it. Maybe attempting to talk to her was a reasonable thing to do afterall. I hope this will be enough to put an end to it as well. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2013, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neighbor-accusations/675308/35 "2013-12-03T13:22:47Z")
Like others suggested, I’d document everything. But I’d use a little notebook and I’d make sure she could see me writing. Writing and giggling. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2013, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neighbor-accusations/675308/36 "2013-12-03T14:32:05Z")
> [@Machine\_Elf](#): > > More free advice: document, document, document. If there is legally actionable trouble down the road, things will go much better for you at that time if you have in hand a written record documenting all interactions between you, her, and the police. > > Edit: ninja’d by Anaamika. > > [sub]great minds think alike?[/sub] And so do ours! 😃 > [@Tethered Kite](#): > > Not a lot of patience or understanding of mental illness to spare for a left-leaning board, is there? > > I know - they’re a pain in the butt when they aren’t properly taken care of or following their doctor’s recommendations. > > And the ones with paranoia can be dangerous. So you’re wise to contact authorities for both your sake and hers. Patience schmatience. I can guess that everyone who has posted has had at some point to deal with a crazy neighbor, and believe you me, they can make your life hell if they choose to. I guess I _don’t_ have a lot of patience for strangers who choose to impose themselves on my life, when I haven’t bothered anyone and in fact go out of my way to be a good neighbor. In my case it was the woman who would yell at me from across the street because I hadn’t come out the previous night and shoveled my car as soon as the snow hit the ground. Sorry lady, it was midnight! ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2013, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neighbor-accusations/675308/37 "2013-12-03T14:47:17Z")
Hopefully it won’t get any worse. I went through 30 years of a crazy neighbor always retaliating against me. Scratching my car paint, nails under my tires, grease on my gate locks, rocks and dog poop comming over the fence almost daily. The last straw was when he destroyed my bonsai trees. I called him out on it and when he crossed my property line I broke his nose. He was a chrystal meth addict on top of his mental illness. He finally had a stroke and was put into a home. Life is good again. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2013, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neighbor-accusations/675308/38 "2013-12-03T17:18:59Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > Patience schmatience. I can guess that everyone who has posted has had at some point to deal with a crazy neighbor, and believe you me, they can make your life hell if they choose to. I had child welfare called on me for my kids running roughshod over the neighborhood on a daily basis … my goddaughters live a 4 hour drive away in New Jersey, and in the time frame of the accusation the 3 in the age range she was bitching about had documentably been off in a 6 week long summer camp in northern Virginia. Not to mention that they are platinum blonds with blue eyes, and both mrAru and I have brown hair which is nothing like platinum blond and have never had kids, never had kids registered in any CT school, and no records with the Navy of any kids on mrAru’s social security number [dependents are registered with their sponsors social.] The kids in question are registered with their father’s social at his duty station, in the school system in NJ and so forth. The lady investigating was seriously pissed off at the false charge, and the dumb bunny making the accusation got fined and a ticket for filing the false complaint. ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2013, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neighbor-accusations/675308/39 "2013-12-03T17:31:10Z")
How long have you lived in this neighborhood? How long has she? Do you know any of the other neighbors? Have you talked to them? Maybe they already know of her and her behavior and have advice on how they handle it. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2013, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neighbor-accusations/675308/40 "2013-12-03T17:49:56Z")
Nice username/post combo, OP. Also, props for proper use of the masculine form. You’re going to like it here, I think. Which is good, because you may no longer enjoy living in your neighborhood. ☹ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neighbor-accusations/675308.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neighbor-accusations/675308.md?page=3)