# Neighbor dilemma **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 21, 2018, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neighbor-dilemma/821699 "2018-09-21T20:12:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Alpha\_Twit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alpha_twit/32/265_2.png) [@Alpha\_Twit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alpha_Twit)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2018, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neighbor-dilemma/821699/21 "2018-09-22T17:27:51Z")
If money permits, replace ALL the outdoor chairs. If/when she comes back, you don’t want to have to give her a special ‘heavy’ chair. ---
**Author:** ![nelliebly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nelliebly/32/5422_2.png) [@nelliebly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nelliebly)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2018, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neighbor-dilemma/821699/22 "2018-09-22T18:59:07Z")
Honestly, anything you _say_ about the incident at this point will only embarrass her. Maybe leave a vase of flowers (from your yard, if you still have any) on her porch with a note saying, “So glad you’re our neighbor! The Cardigans.” ---
**Author:** ![BobBitchin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7ea924/32.png) [@BobBitchin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobBitchin)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2018, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neighbor-dilemma/821699/23 "2018-09-22T19:18:00Z")
My first instinct would be to apologize profusely. When I’ve clearly made a mistake, it seems only logical to clearly take responsibility. But I’ve also been told, for some, that is worse than letting it be. Good luck with your neighbor. I hope you find the right balance.🙂 ---
**Author:** ![AngelSoft](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/angelsoft/32/440_2.png) [@AngelSoft](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelSoft)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2018, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neighbor-dilemma/821699/24 "2018-09-22T20:34:35Z")
> [@BobBitchin](#): > > My first instinct would be to apologize profusely. When I’ve clearly made a mistake, it seems only logical to clearly take responsibility. > > But I’ve also been told, for some, that is worse than letting it be. > Good luck with your neighbor. I hope you find the right balance.🙂 Totally worse lol There’s NO way to apologize without insulting/embarrassing her. “I’m sorry I gave you a chair that wasn’t able to hold your weight!” I mean…is there a way to apologize that’s not going to bring up the fact that she was too fat for the chair? That’s a huge fear for us overweight people, especially women. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2018, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neighbor-dilemma/821699/25 "2018-09-23T20:55:31Z")
Take the money and buy chairs. But don’t ever mention the subject with the lady. Not ever, in any context. Keep your mouth shut and interact with her the way you normally do. ---
**Author:** ![Maserschmidt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/maserschmidt/32/18829_2.png) [@Maserschmidt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maserschmidt)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2018, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neighbor-dilemma/821699/26 "2018-09-23T21:00:12Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > This is a very bad idea, IMO. Go a head and get some sturdy chairs, but do not call attention to them in any way. > > Don’t ever even speak the word “chair” in her presence. > mmm This is the only correct advice. Get a chair or two and drop it. Next time she comes over have multiple chairs out including the new one and don’t even look at her when she’s choosing one. ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [September 23, 2018, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neighbor-dilemma/821699/27 "2018-09-23T23:08:59Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > Here is a bad idea: motion toward the new chairs and say, with pride in your voice, “Let’s see you break _those_!” > mmm You are an evil person for making that joke! Goddammit, I can’t stop laughing. ---
**Author:** ![Cardigan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardigan/32/187_2.png) [@Cardigan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardigan)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2018, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neighbor-dilemma/821699/28 "2018-09-24T11:54:39Z")
> [@Channing\_Idaho\_Banks](#): > > I’m curious whether the neighbor has the $40 to spare, and also whether you think the neighbor is more affluent or less affluent than you are. She’s considerably less affluent. I figured out a way to get the money back in her pockets - she cuts both my son’s and my hair - I’ll just leave some generous tips the next couple times. I think **AngelSoft** hit the nail on the head…there’s really no way to apologize without making it worse. I’ve been giving space and have no plans to bring the subject up or attempt to apologize. And, yes, we’re definitely going to get a new set of lawn chairs that are hopefully sturdier. Thanks all for the advice. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2018, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neighbor-dilemma/821699/29 "2018-09-24T15:50:18Z")
“Neigbor dilemma” under a picture of Mr. Rogers. Interesting. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![SmellMyWort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SmellMyWort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmellMyWort)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2018, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neighbor-dilemma/821699/30 "2018-09-24T17:27:05Z")
> [@Dung\_Beetle](#): > > “Neigbor dilemma” under a picture of Mr. Rogers. Interesting. 😃 Don’t you remember the episode where Mr. McFeely plops down on the porch swing and tears it right out of the ceiling? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Hi\_Neighbor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hi_neighbor/32/494_2.png) [@Hi\_Neighbor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hi_Neighbor)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2018, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neighbor-dilemma/821699/31 "2018-09-24T18:27:30Z")
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