# Nerd/intelligent put-downs/jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 12, 2005, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerd-intelligent-put-downs-jokes/303554 "2005-05-12T13:04:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![DirkGntly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d9b06d/32.png) [@DirkGntly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DirkGntly)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerd-intelligent-put-downs-jokes/303554/1 "2005-05-12T13:04:59Z")
Anyone besides me ever use “high-level” put-downs or jokes that not everyone is going to get? I work in an IT company, so the average IQ tends to be, well, _above_ average, so the one I like to use usually gets chuckles, but occasionally blank stares: “He’s so dense, he’s his own walking, talking quantum singularity.” Anyone know or use any others?? ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerd-intelligent-put-downs-jokes/303554/2 "2005-05-12T13:21:18Z")
Don’t know if this can be considered clever… but… “It’s an ID ten T problem.” Translation: ID_10_T… ID_IO_T… ---
**Author:** ![TwoTrouts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a9adbd/32.png) [@TwoTrouts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwoTrouts)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerd-intelligent-put-downs-jokes/303554/3 "2005-05-12T14:47:28Z")
He’s so dense his head has an event horizon. ---
**Author:** ![FatBaldGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecd19e/32.png) [@FatBaldGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FatBaldGuy)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerd-intelligent-put-downs-jokes/303554/4 "2005-05-12T15:05:20Z")
There are 10 kinds of people in the world. Those that understand binary and those that don’t. ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerd-intelligent-put-downs-jokes/303554/5 "2005-05-12T15:48:53Z")
(In response to someone making an unfounded and incorrect logical leap in reasoning) “So, if she she weighs the same as a duck, she’s…made of wood…and therefore…a witch!” Generally, engineers I work with get the reference. Managers and finance/business guys, not so much. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![Noone\_Special](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/noone_special/32/2863_2.png) [@Noone\_Special](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noone_Special)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerd-intelligent-put-downs-jokes/303554/6 "2005-05-12T20:33:52Z")
“What does think about [Y]? Dude, you’re going to throw a NullPointerException!” (Yes, I’m a Java programmer) (Still haven’t got it? Consider: ) ```auto Person x = new Person("X"); // if X.getBrain() == null this will throw a NullPointerException... try { Thought idea = X.getBrain().getThought(Y); } catch ... ``` ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerd-intelligent-put-downs-jokes/303554/7 "2005-05-12T20:43:47Z")
Oooh! Oooh! I must nominate one of my prouder SDMB moments; post #6 in [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=258667). ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerd-intelligent-put-downs-jokes/303554/8 "2005-05-12T21:17:39Z")
What’s wrong with simply asking someone, “With your brains, why aren’t you working customer service?” ---
**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerd-intelligent-put-downs-jokes/303554/9 "2005-05-12T23:32:36Z")
I returned the relayed greetings of **alice\_in\_wonderland** ’s father with [Any truth to those rumors about the Greek lexicon being remaindered?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=5037407&highlight=lexicon#post5037407) ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2005, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerd-intelligent-put-downs-jokes/303554/10 "2005-05-13T00:14:24Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > Don’t know if this can be considered clever… but… > > “It’s an ID ten T problem.” > > Translation: ID_10_T… ID_IO_T… Bad. Very bad. ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2005, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerd-intelligent-put-downs-jokes/303554/11 "2005-05-13T00:59:08Z")
PEBKAC error (Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair) the “loose nut” on the keyboard ESO error (Equipment Smarter than Operator) ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2005, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerd-intelligent-put-downs-jokes/303554/12 "2005-05-13T01:27:32Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > Don’t know if this can be considered clever… but… > > “It’s an ID ten T problem.” > > Translation: ID_10_T… ID_IO_T… We always used “It’s a one D ten T problem.” Another one: “Must we continue this Moebius conversation?” Repeat after every pointless re-phrasing of the other person’s position until he catches on. My friend has a British Pram for his baby. I wrote the word ZAP on the back. He didn’t get it. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Queen\_Bruin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Queen\_Bruin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Queen_Bruin)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2005, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerd-intelligent-put-downs-jokes/303554/13 "2005-05-13T01:47:05Z")
“Well, he’s one horseman short of an apocalypse”. One of my favorites from [here.](http://www.corsinet.com/braincandy/) ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2005, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerd-intelligent-put-downs-jokes/303554/14 "2005-05-13T02:02:22Z")
X sucks so much that when s/he walks in the door/gets on stage/etc drinks begin to boil at room temperature. ---
**Author:** ![TheOnlySaneOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/67e7ee/32.png) [@TheOnlySaneOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheOnlySaneOne)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2005, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerd-intelligent-put-downs-jokes/303554/15 "2005-05-13T02:17:21Z")
“Man, he is slower than a 56K modem…” ---
**Author:** ![SolGrundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@SolGrundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SolGrundy)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2005, 8:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerd-intelligent-put-downs-jokes/303554/16 "2005-05-13T08:24:59Z")
“You’re so FF00FF.” (At my first job in games, the tool we used for character animation used magenta (Red:255 Green:0 Blue:255) as the transparent mask. One of the art techs used the above insult whenever she wanted to call our boss on his BS.) ---
**Author:** ![Lightnin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lightnin/32/180_2.png) [@Lightnin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lightnin)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2005, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerd-intelligent-put-downs-jokes/303554/17 "2005-05-13T17:01:48Z")
“He puts the ‘B’ in ‘Subtle’.” ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2005, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerd-intelligent-put-downs-jokes/303554/18 "2005-05-13T17:17:32Z")
> [@Dooku](#): > > My friend has a British Pram for his baby. I wrote the word ZAP on the back. He didn’t get it. ☹ Aw, I just snorted really loudly! ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2005, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerd-intelligent-put-downs-jokes/303554/19 "2005-05-13T18:32:47Z")
_applauds all of you, with tears of mirth in her eyes_ ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2005, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerd-intelligent-put-downs-jokes/303554/20 "2005-05-21T01:29:17Z")
> [@Dooku](#): > > My friend has a British Pram for his baby. I wrote the word ZAP on the back. He didn’t get it. ☹ Well, I’m sorry to say I don’t either. What’s the deal? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerd-intelligent-put-downs-jokes/303554.md?page=2)