# Nerdy, Geeky Jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 25, 2022, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerdy-geeky-jokes/975532 "2022-11-25T15:23:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2022, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerdy-geeky-jokes/975532/101 "2022-11-29T21:23:36Z")
> [@solost](#): > > _Little Johnny took a drink_ > _And then he was no more_ > _For what he thought was H2O_ > _Was H2SO4_ _A dozen, a gross, and a score Plus three times the square root of four Divided by seven Plus five times eleven Is nine squared and not a bit more._ More at [Math Limericks - Futility Closet](https://www.futilitycloset.com/2017/04/29/math-limericks/) ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2022, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerdy-geeky-jokes/975532/102 "2022-11-29T22:09:45Z")
> [@markn\_1](#): > > balance their checkbooks I got fired from my job at the bank today. A woman came in and asked me to check her balance, so I shoved her. ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2022, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerdy-geeky-jokes/975532/103 "2022-11-29T22:28:59Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > A couple years ago I saw a car whose personalized plate said “NOT INNI” The car was an Audi, I presume? ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2022, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerdy-geeky-jokes/975532/104 "2022-11-29T22:41:35Z")
So, after 40 days and nights, Noah’s ark finally lands, and all the pairs of animals are released, and God commands all of them to go forth, be fruitful, and multiply. Well, Noah is out and about rebuilding civilization, and he sees a couple of very sad snakes. “What’s wrong?”, he asks them. “God commanded us to be fruitful and multiply, but we can’t multiply; we’re adders.” “Ah, I see”, said Noah. So he went and found some large pieces of driftwood, and fashions them together into a crude platform, and presents it to the snakes. They don’t understand, but they accept his gift. The next time Noah meets the snakes, they have a whole huge family, with snakelets and grandsnakes all over the place. “Thank you”, they say, “but we still don’t understand what happened.” “That’s easy”, said Noah. “Even adders can multiply, with a log table.” ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2022, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerdy-geeky-jokes/975532/105 "2022-11-29T23:37:30Z")
> [@mbh](#): > > The car was an Audi, I presume? You presume rightly. I thought the owner’s idea was clever. ---
**Author:** ![SunUp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SunUp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SunUp)\ **Post date:** [November 29, 2022, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerdy-geeky-jokes/975532/106 "2022-11-29T23:43:37Z")
_There once was a fencer named Fisk, whose lunge was exceedingly brisk. So fast was its action that Lorentz contraction turned his rapier’s blade to a disk._ ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2022, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerdy-geeky-jokes/975532/107 "2022-11-30T01:34:53Z")
> [@Moonrise](#): > > Bartender: Sir, what beer would you like? > Linguist: IPA > Bartender: [sɜː, wɒt bɪə wəd jə laɪk] My mother was a linguist, and I used to read her books beginning around age 9. I loved this. ---
**Author:** ![Orville\_mogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/aeb1de/32.png) [@Orville\_mogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orville_mogul)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2022, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerdy-geeky-jokes/975532/108 "2022-11-30T16:34:09Z")
My high school math teacher once asked a (female) classmate to write out the following expression on the blackboard in the proper algebraic notation: The integral of e to the x is a function. Teacher got jolly giggles out of this, and it took the rest of us a while to figure out why. Creepy old dude… ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2022, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerdy-geeky-jokes/975532/109 "2022-11-30T17:38:32Z")
There’s an appropriate limerick: > [@](#): > > _A math professor, von Rex_ > _Derived an equation for sex_ > _He proved by induction_ > _There’s naught to seduction_ > _But a function of e to the x._ Some people make the last line “But a function of y over x”, which works chromosomally, but doesn’t fit in well with the integral. And, of course, there’s the other equation > **[Pin on Humour](https://www.pinterest.com/pin/75505731222531271/)** > > Feb 7, 2012 - Discover the magic of the internet at Imgur, a community powered entertainment destination. Lift your spirits with funny jokes, trending memes, entertaining gifs, inspiring stories, viral videos, and so much more. [https://www.cafepress.com/mf/72585489/integral-calculus-is-fun-and-s\_tshirt?productId=719679776](https://www.cafepress.com/mf/72585489/integral-calculus-is-fun-and-s_tshirt?productId=719679776) ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2022, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerdy-geeky-jokes/975532/110 "2022-11-30T17:44:33Z")
A bit of deductive reasoning from _Monty Python And the Holy Grail_: [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/u3AGPH_gtJo/hqdefault.jpg "Sir Bedever’s Logic | Deductive Reasoning | Monty Python And The Quest For The Holy Grail") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3AGPH_gtJo) And a follow-up from a professional logician: [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/EKmMARRpDTU/maxresdefault.jpg "Logician") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EKmMARRpDTU) ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2022, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerdy-geeky-jokes/975532/111 "2022-11-30T18:48:11Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > Years ago, I was reading a column on _Slate_ that mentioned a neurological disease that caused people to laugh uncontrollably, and asked what the title would be when Oliver Sacks wrote a book about it. I commented that that it would be “The Man Who Mistook His Wife. Please.” Nice! Reminds me a little of a chapter in the book _Wild New York_ (about flora and fauna within the five boroughs): “Egrets, We Have a Few.” ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2022, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerdy-geeky-jokes/975532/112 "2022-11-30T19:35:09Z")
Caps Lock - Preventing logins since 1985. * * * Caution - Cosmic Rays Inside. * * * and one from the SDMB, from Fugazi, Nov. 2007 > A guy at work has this taped to the side of his computer. He works a different shift, so I never see him but I’ve passed by it at least 100 times without realizing the joke. Then I took a good look one day and had a laugh. On the side of his computer is… > > chown -R us ./base > > The beauty of this is you have to be at least somewhat geeky to even get it. > > I’ll spoiler it for those who want to figure it out on their own. > > chown is a Linux command to change owner ship of files. In this case, your changing all the files in the directory ‘base’ to the user ‘us’. Or in other words “all your base are belong to us”. ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2022, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerdy-geeky-jokes/975532/113 "2022-12-01T11:31:27Z")
NOT a joke, but wonderfully nerdy: Seen at Tsinghua University, at a protest against the Chinese Government: [![](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FikeN-_X0AIQhJR?format=jpg&name=large) ](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FikeN-_X0AIQhJR?format=jpg&name=large) It’s one of the [Friedman Equations.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friedmann_equations) > Several students at [Tsinghua University](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tsinghua_University) ([PRC](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/People%27s_Republic_of_China) President [Xi Jinping](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xi_Jinping)’s [alma mater](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alma_mater)) participating in the [2022 COVID-19 protests in China](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2022_COVID-19_protests_in_China) carried placards with Friedmann equations scrawled on them, interpreted by some as a play on the words “Free man”. Others have interpreted the use of the equations as a call to “open up” China and stop its Zero Covid policy, as the Friedmann equations relate to the expansion, or “opening” of the universe. [[7]](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friedmann_equations#cite_note-7) ---
**Author:** ![mixdenny](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mixdenny/32/2962_2.png) [@mixdenny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mixdenny)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2022, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerdy-geeky-jokes/975532/114 "2022-12-01T16:39:39Z")
> [@Wallaby](#): > > I have degrees in psychology,economics and politics. > > I don’t have a job but at least I know why. And what party to blame. ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2022, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerdy-geeky-jokes/975532/115 "2022-12-01T18:04:49Z")
Chebyshev proved a couple centuries ago that for positive numbers n bigger than unity, there is always a prime number between n and 2n. Erdos was a well known coach surfer and collaborator, known for saying mathematicians “are a device that turn coffee into theorems” and coming up with an alternate proof. Prompting some wag to write _Chebyshev said it and I’ll say it again. There is always a prime between n and 2n._ (Not funny, admittedly, but pretty geeky.) ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2022, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerdy-geeky-jokes/975532/116 "2022-12-01T18:38:56Z")
(To be really geeky, Chebyshev’s work was based on Bertrand’s Conjecture regarding the “gaps” between consecutive prime numbers. His theory could be tightened up if Andrica’s Conjecture is true; which it likely is since I don’t think exceptions have been found. Namely, the gap after prime number n and the next prime number is less than one plus two times the square root of n.) ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2022, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerdy-geeky-jokes/975532/117 "2022-12-01T20:35:27Z")
> [@JKellyMap](#): > > Reminds me a little of a chapter in the book _Wild New York_ (about flora and fauna within the five boroughs): “Egrets, We Have a Few.” Reminds me of a possibly apocryphal P.T. Barnum story: at one point he had a circus tent display with a collection of exotic animals in cages. People were supposed to get a quick look at each animal and move along in a line but there were too many people who would stand around and gawk for long periods, holding up the line. So P.T. put a big sign above the exit saying “THIS WAY TO THE EGRESS”. ---
**Author:** ![pullin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c57346/32.png) [@pullin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pullin)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2022, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerdy-geeky-jokes/975532/118 "2022-12-02T18:50:42Z")
At a recent family gathering, Star Wars films were the subject of conversation. SIL wondered about future films, and I said the next should be called “Not”. No one got it. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.winston_oboogie/32/2945_2.png) [@Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Winston_OBoogie)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2022, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerdy-geeky-jokes/975532/119 "2022-12-02T20:20:24Z")
> [@solost](#): > > Reminds me of a possibly apocryphal P.T. Barnum story: at one point he had a circus tent display with a collection of exotic animals in cages. People were supposed to get a quick look at each animal and move along in a line but there were too many people who would stand around and gawk for long periods, holding up the line. So P.T. put a big sign above the exit saying “THIS WAY TO THE EGRESS”. No, that was part of his Museum in New York. At least that’s what the musical “Barnum” says. [and ptbarnum.org agrees](http://www.ptbarnum.org/egress.html) ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2022, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerdy-geeky-jokes/975532/120 "2022-12-02T22:55:47Z")
“What do we want?” > > > “Time Travel!” “When do we want it?” > > > “Irrelevant!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerdy-geeky-jokes/975532.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerdy-geeky-jokes/975532.md?page=7)