# Nerdy, Geeky Jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 25, 2022, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerdy-geeky-jokes/975532 "2022-11-25T15:23:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [December 4, 2022, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerdy-geeky-jokes/975532/141 "2022-12-04T18:13:46Z")
> [@JohnGalt](#): > > Our granddaughter joined the sixth- grade math league at her school: good for her. She came over today and said she was cold. I told her to stand in the corner, because it’s 90 degrees there. She just glared at me. If she had also complained that she was hungry, you could have offered her half a pie. > [@OppositeKeith](#): > > sorry teacher my math homework committed suicide yesterday > it had too many problems. Dear Algebra: Stop asking us to find your X. Forget it, man, she’s not coming back. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2022, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerdy-geeky-jokes/975532/142 "2022-12-05T16:49:17Z")
### They have just found the gene for shyness. They would have found it earlier, but it was hiding behind two other genes. * * * ### I can eat sugar with either hand… I’m ambidextrose. * * * ### What does a subatomic duck say? Quark. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.winston_oboogie/32/2945_2.png) [@Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Winston_OBoogie)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2022, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerdy-geeky-jokes/975532/143 "2022-12-05T17:07:57Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > Dear Algebra: Stop asking us to find your X. Forget it, man, she’s not coming back. or, this shirt: [image|500x500](https://boards.straightdope.com/uploads/short-url/hPZZcUXSSETgt9RbyGe1dpvGoe3.jpeg) ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2022, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerdy-geeky-jokes/975532/144 "2022-12-06T00:46:20Z")
> [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](#): > > * * * > > ### What does a subatomic duck say? Seagull, actually. ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2022, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerdy-geeky-jokes/975532/145 "2022-12-06T22:22:11Z")
Diatoms are a gull’s best friend. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2022, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerdy-geeky-jokes/975532/146 "2022-12-06T22:59:06Z")
Organic chemistry humor, which I first remember seeing in college: [![](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/19/08/73/1908733f02e9312330ede641fbe01d5f.jpg) ](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/19/08/73/1908733f02e9312330ede641fbe01d5f.jpg) [![](https://ih1.redbubble.net/image.4210206015.0790/st,small,507x507-pad,600x600,f8f8f8.jpg) ](https://ih1.redbubble.net/image.4210206015.0790/st,small,507x507-pad,600x600,f8f8f8.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2022, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerdy-geeky-jokes/975532/147 "2022-12-07T00:42:34Z")
I know _a lot_ of medical jokes but some are pretty niche. So you get this one instead. ‘Four doctors are talking. The British doctor says, “medicine is so advanced in Britain that we cut off a man’s liver, put it in another man, and in 6 weeks, he was looking for a job." The German doctor replies: “That’s nothing. In Germany, we took part of a brain, put it in another man, and in 4 weeks he was looking for a job.” The Russian doctor replies: “Well, we took half a heart from a man, put it in another’s chest, and in 2 weeks he was looking for a job.” The American doctor laughs: “You are all behind us. A few years ago, we took a man with no brain, no heart, and fake hair, and made him President. Now, the whole country is looking for a job!” ---
**Author:** ![Buck\_Godot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/buck_godot/32/6573_2.png) [@Buck\_Godot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_Godot)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2022, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerdy-geeky-jokes/975532/148 "2022-12-07T02:28:14Z")
Disclaimer: This is not an ethnic joke I have nothing but the highest respect for the Polish people. Now on to the joke. To NATO was training joint exercise and was experimenting with integrating crews of different nationalities so that they could learn from eachother. But one US air force Lt.Col. was having a problem. several Polish technicians had been added to his AWACs crew and it was taking time to familiarize them with the complicated avionics, so they were way behind schedule. When his commanding officer asked him what the problem was his complained that **it was hard to integrate with so many Poles on the complex plane.** ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2022, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerdy-geeky-jokes/975532/149 "2022-12-07T05:50:49Z")
This is worth a look. > **[‘Bad Science Jokes’: 40 Nerdy Posts That Are So Bad, They’re Actually Good...](https://www.boredpanda.com/funny-bad-science-memes-jokes/)** > > When you hear the phrase so bad, it's good, you probably think of the movie 'The Room' or Rebecca Black's song 'Friday'. But there's more to it than just entertainment. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2022, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerdy-geeky-jokes/975532/150 "2022-12-07T22:02:33Z")
With the international mathematics conference in town, the bars around the convention center were hopping. As was her custom, the evening manager was going from table to table greeting her guests. When she got to the first table, there were eight mathematicians seated. Strange, she thought, since there were only six seats, but some of them were getting a bit frisky and were sitting on others’ laps. When she got to the second table, there were four mathematicians seated. A bit more normal, she thought. Probably continuing some debate from the afternoon session. When she got to the third table, there were two mathematicians seated. Ah, convention love, she sighed. When she got the the fourth table, there was just one mathematician seated. Well, these mathematicians are sometimes solitary types, she thought. When she got to the fifth table, she called the police. ---
**Author:** ![Al128](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/al128/32/16541_2.png) [@Al128](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Al128)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2022, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerdy-geeky-jokes/975532/151 "2022-12-08T00:28:09Z")
> [@RivkahChaya](#): > > Did they have capes too? They had cloaks, I know, but did they have capes? Maybe I just don’t know what a cape is. … and do the CAPES LOCK? nevermind - I get my cloak and show myself out ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2022, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerdy-geeky-jokes/975532/152 "2022-12-08T00:38:06Z")
OK, that’s much better than the version I heard with ATC trying to talk John Paul II through landing an airliner, after the pilot had a heart attack. ---
**Author:** ![rowrrbazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rowrrbazzle/32/414_2.png) [@rowrrbazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rowrrbazzle)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2022, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerdy-geeky-jokes/975532/153 "2022-12-08T06:11:27Z")
I remember this on a bumper sticker: \frac{2P}{H^3} = AuH\_2O (2P = 2 [political] parties, H^3 = Hubert H. Humphrey) ---
**Author:** ![mixdenny](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mixdenny/32/2962_2.png) [@mixdenny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mixdenny)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2022, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerdy-geeky-jokes/975532/154 "2022-12-08T20:40:23Z")
NM, will follow up. ---
**Author:** ![mixdenny](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mixdenny/32/2962_2.png) [@mixdenny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mixdenny)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2022, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerdy-geeky-jokes/975532/155 "2022-12-08T20:41:56Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > When she got to the fifth table, she called the police. This is the first joke in the thread that has gone over my head. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2022, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerdy-geeky-jokes/975532/156 "2022-12-08T20:43:22Z")
The next table in the sequence would be 1/2. ---
**Author:** ![kk\_fusion](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kk_fusion/32/15276_2.png) [@kk\_fusion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kk_fusion)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2022, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerdy-geeky-jokes/975532/157 "2022-12-08T20:53:08Z")
Three logicians walk into a bar. “So, y’all gonna have a beer?”, asks the barman. Dunno, says the first. Dunno, says the second. Yes, says the third. ---
**Author:** ![DorkVader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/73ab20/32.png) [@DorkVader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DorkVader)\ **Post date:** [December 8, 2022, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerdy-geeky-jokes/975532/158 "2022-12-08T22:15:00Z")
Never trust an atom… …they make up everything ---
**Author:** ![Ponderoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponderoid/32/19221_2.png) [@Ponderoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponderoid)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2022, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerdy-geeky-jokes/975532/159 "2022-12-10T13:39:12Z")
\*facepalm\*. I might have had a better chance of getting that one if it weren’t for the 8 people in 6 seats red herring. ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2022, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerdy-geeky-jokes/975532/160 "2022-12-10T14:04:33Z")
I thought the last one was profound: “Fifty years ago, if you wanted to see a picture of a raccoon, you either had to already have it or drive to a library. And raccoon in a funny hat? Forget about it.” Same theme as a New Yorker cartoon: > **[The New Yorker](https://www.newyorker.com/cartoons/random/share/2878351)** > > Cartoons at Random by The New Yorker BEFORE THE INTERNET “Who played the super on that TV show from the Seventies? The one with the three veterinarians?” “I don’t know.” “Oh, God! We might NEVER KNOW!” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerdy-geeky-jokes/975532.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/nerdy-geeky-jokes/975532.md?page=9)