# Neutered Gentlemen: My Vasectomy is Tomorrow! **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 29, 2012, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neutered-gentlemen-my-vasectomy-is-tomorrow/617184 "2012-03-29T17:53:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2012, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neutered-gentlemen-my-vasectomy-is-tomorrow/617184/21 "2012-03-29T19:52:47Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > Oh, and uh…you know how they say you can’t tell you’re fixed when you climax? Yeah, that’s bullshit. You can totally tell. you can tell because the recoil is less. your ejaculate is minus the mass of the sperm. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2012, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neutered-gentlemen-my-vasectomy-is-tomorrow/617184/22 "2012-03-29T20:09:04Z")
Sperm cause recoil? Was that tongue in cheek? :dubious: You lose less than 5% of your ejaculate, by volume, after a vasectomy. Any subjective sensation that orgasm is different is more likely due to nerve damage during the procedure or excess scarring after, which is very rare, or simple self-consciousness. Pleasepleaseplease remember that you will NOT be “shooting blanks” right away and another form of contraception is still in order until you doctor says otherwise. I’ve got “Irish twin” cousins from seemingly intelligent parents who didn’t grok this. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![markdash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@markdash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markdash)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2012, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neutered-gentlemen-my-vasectomy-is-tomorrow/617184/23 "2012-03-29T20:13:29Z")
The doctor told me that sperm can survive for weeks after the procedure. I’m going to go in for a follow-up in 6-8 weeks, and he will do 100 magnified fields under the microscope. If he sees even one sperm, we will have to continue being careful until the next successful appointment. ---
**Author:** ![diku](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4af34b/32.png) [@diku](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/diku)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2012, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neutered-gentlemen-my-vasectomy-is-tomorrow/617184/24 "2012-03-29T20:22:15Z")
Yeah, mine wasn’t any real big deal, just kept frozen peas on my crotch, put my feet up, and relaxed. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2012, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neutered-gentlemen-my-vasectomy-is-tomorrow/617184/25 "2012-03-29T20:44:40Z")
Just a random thought about pain meds. If its pain med you have never taken before you might wanna be careful. Some people react very poorly to them. Anything from mild upset stomach to severe virtigo to life threatening allergic reactions. If the pain isn’t really bad I’d be tempted to take fraction of the pain meds you are presribed, wait a while to see if there are any adverse reactions, then crank up the dose to the recommended. Some pain meds give me severe vertigo. Bad enough that if I had to live with something like that I would seriously consider choosing to end it. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2012, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neutered-gentlemen-my-vasectomy-is-tomorrow/617184/26 "2012-03-29T20:45:29Z")
I believe the level of discomfort is inversely proportional to the size of your penis. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2012, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neutered-gentlemen-my-vasectomy-is-tomorrow/617184/27 "2012-03-29T20:46:09Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > Sperm cause recoil? Was that tongue in cheek? :dubious: > > You lose less than 5% of your ejaculate, by volume, Small amount of volume, but the little guys weigh a lot in full load-out what with the kevlar, jet packs, rations… > [@carnivorousplant](#): > > I believe the level of discomfort is inversely proportional to the size of your penis. Well that explains my red sports car. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2012, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neutered-gentlemen-my-vasectomy-is-tomorrow/617184/28 "2012-03-29T20:57:28Z")
I was put under for mine as the doctor said I had a “tight scrotum”. I have no idea what that was supposed to mean or how it affected things. Anyway, I was all bruised up and tender for at least 10 days. Not terribly so; I still went to work and walked around and stuff. But there was some definite discomfort. At one point my wife said “So-and-so said it was nothing” so I showed her my blue & purple bruised-up bits, following which she gave me a little more sympathy. Wasn’t bad enough to crack the pain meds I was prescribed though. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2012, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neutered-gentlemen-my-vasectomy-is-tomorrow/617184/29 "2012-03-29T20:57:54Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > Well that explains my red sports car. 🙂 You lost me on that one. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2012, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neutered-gentlemen-my-vasectomy-is-tomorrow/617184/30 "2012-03-29T21:04:46Z")
> [@markdash](#): > > The doctor suggested an ice pack, 15 minutes on, 15 minutes off, for the rest of the day until I go to sleep. I think he’s going to provide a script for Vicodin, but all things being equal I would like to avoid it if possible. I got one a couple of months ago. The procedure was a piece of cake. Got it Friday morning and was back to work on Monday. I was kind of tender for a week but it really was no big deal. I got sent home with Tylenol and that was all I needed. I probably didn’t even need that. > [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > Oh, and uh…you know how they say you can’t tell you’re fixed when you climax? Yeah, that’s bullshit. You can totally tell. I can’t tell the difference. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2012, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neutered-gentlemen-my-vasectomy-is-tomorrow/617184/31 "2012-03-29T21:21:53Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > You lost me on that one. “…level of discomfort is inversely proportional to the size of your penis” ==\> my vasectomy recovery was quite unpleasant ==\> I have a small penis (Q.E.D.) ==\> meme: red sports car = compensating for small penis. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2012, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neutered-gentlemen-my-vasectomy-is-tomorrow/617184/32 "2012-03-29T21:31:19Z")
> [@Baracus](#): > > Dude, don’t let your wife convince you that getting a vasectomy and getting neutered are the same thing! Yeah, getting a snip and burn of the tubes does NOT mean that your testicles are removed! They’re gonna be in their proper place, pumping out testosterone and whatever, it’s just that the sperm is not going to make it out. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2012, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neutered-gentlemen-my-vasectomy-is-tomorrow/617184/33 "2012-03-29T21:38:07Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > Pleasepleaseplease remember that you will NOT be “shooting blanks” right away and another form of contraception is still in order until you doctor says otherwise. I’ve got “Irish twin” cousins from seemingly intelligent parents who didn’t grok this. :smack: Hummers and handies for a couple weeks. And I can’t tell the difference from before the procedure, and my wife says it tastes and feels the same. ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2012, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neutered-gentlemen-my-vasectomy-is-tomorrow/617184/34 "2012-03-29T22:02:58Z")
I had mine back in October, and there’s a thread about that floating around somewhere. The procedure wasn’t bad at all, and the primary discomfort didn’t last very long (I can’t recall if it was that weekend or the following weekend that I resumed playing tennis – I know I had a jock strap). I did occasionally have some odd groin pain from time to time that seemed directly related to the surgery, but that eventually went away. ---
**Author:** ![johnpost](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f17d59/32.png) [@johnpost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/johnpost)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2012, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neutered-gentlemen-my-vasectomy-is-tomorrow/617184/35 "2012-03-29T22:19:26Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#): > > Oh, and uh…you know how they say you can’t tell you’re fixed when you climax? Yeah, that’s bullshit. You can totally tell. > [@johnpost](#): > > you can tell because the recoil is less. your ejaculate is minus the mass of the sperm. > [@WhyNot](#): > > Sperm cause recoil? Was that tongue in cheek? :dubious: > > You lose less than 5% of your ejaculate, by volume, after a vasectomy. could be something or other in the cheek. true, it is just a few percent. i never noticed a difference though physics would indicate there is. ---
**Author:** ![Cyros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a698b9/32.png) [@Cyros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyros)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2012, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neutered-gentlemen-my-vasectomy-is-tomorrow/617184/36 "2012-03-29T23:32:41Z")
I had to have two and the first time I had some discomfort for about a week. The second one did not seem to have as much pain and the discomfort did not last nearly as long. My advice based on my experiences is to take the first day very easy. Lie down, watch tv and keep the ice on (20 minutes out of every hour). Take some prophylactic (hehe) pain relief. Keep up the pain killers for 3 or 4 days and don’t lift anything above 5 or 10 lbs for the first 4-5 days. Lastly, do not forget to go and get your sperm count tested. I know 2 guys that had kids after the vasectomy and you can guess what they have in common. ---
**Author:** ![RetroVertigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b38774/32.png) [@RetroVertigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RetroVertigo)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2012, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neutered-gentlemen-my-vasectomy-is-tomorrow/617184/37 "2012-03-30T00:48:17Z")
> [@Springtime\_for\_Spacers](#): > > I’m female but I’ll pass on this top tip for the shaving of that sensitive area beforehand – use some girly shaving foam with all the moisturisers and stuff. I’ll have to respectfully add to this suggestion that there is nothing like the closeness a straight blade gives. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2012, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neutered-gentlemen-my-vasectomy-is-tomorrow/617184/38 "2012-03-30T01:23:49Z")
> [@RetroVertigo](#): > > I’ll have to respectfully add to this suggestion that there is nothing like the closeness a straight blade gives. The physician does the shaving. Wusses. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2012, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neutered-gentlemen-my-vasectomy-is-tomorrow/617184/39 "2012-03-30T01:26:59Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > The physician does the shaving. Not in my case nor for a few of my friends. ---
**Author:** ![markdash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba8739/32.png) [@markdash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markdash)\ **Post date:** [March 30, 2012, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neutered-gentlemen-my-vasectomy-is-tomorrow/617184/40 "2012-03-30T01:51:31Z")
Yes, they have asked me to shave before coming in tomorrow. How about waxing? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neutered-gentlemen-my-vasectomy-is-tomorrow/617184.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/neutered-gentlemen-my-vasectomy-is-tomorrow/617184.md?page=3)